Hey! I Could Be A Messenger From Hyne, Ya Know!
by tigerofthewind
Summary: CH. 15 up! Esthar's started a Garden, with Seifer in command! What happens when Selphie goes to investigate! Please rr, people! Selfer(SeiferXSelphie, for those who don't know!
1. Butt Out, Tilmitt!

Hey! I Could Be A Messenger From Hyne, Ya Know!- A Misadventurous Romance Story  
  
Chapter One-Butt Out, Tilmitt!  
  
  
  
AN~Heh heh. I'm sorry, I know I have problems. It's just, the idea for this ficcy is so hilarious, it makes me laughing just thinking about it. This is a story about one couple out on the Net that I have NEVER seen a ficcy written about(if someone knows of one, send me the link, 'kay?)--- Seifer and Selphie! YES! *does cheer* I'm so proud of myself for my originality. Anyway, pleez R/R and let me know what you think! I've never done a couple outside of the usual breaks before! ~tigerofthewind~  
  
  
  
As always, I didn't see the hand that threw the gum in my hair. I never did, really. I bet it was Natanya---she likes to do that to people. Well, I could forgive her. Hey! Peace! Love! Happiness!  
  
Whistling cheerfully to myself, I walked down the hall to my class. Yup. MY class. And for once, I wasn't the student sitting in the back always volunteering the answers. This time, I was the teacher up in the front ORDERING for someone to volunteer the answers.  
  
"Good morning, Instructor Tilmitt!"one of my students called, heading down to the Quad to have lunch with her friends. I sighed wistfully, thinking of the Garden Festival that my class was in the process of planning.  
  
Pssst! I'll tell you a secret, 'kay? When I was really young, Trabia had put on a Garden Festival of their own, but it had gotten canceled early because it rained. The rain destroyed the band's instruments, and wrecked the stage, and Trabia hadn't put on a single one since then. I had really missed it---Garden Festival's are such FUN!  
  
"Hiya, Corraline!"I said cheerfully, waving back."Don't forget your paper on the Second Sorceress War that's due after break!"  
  
It was spring break in Balamb Garden, and things couldn't have been going better for me. Well.......  
  
I generally try not to think too badly of people. So I couldn't shout aloud all the names that I had suddenly felt like calling my ex-boyfriend Irvine at the moment.  
  
That's right, EX. You remember, don't you? We were going together so happily at the end of the Third Sorceress War(y'know, how we kicked some Ultimecia bum?!), and then he suddenly had the nerve to tell me that he wanted the freedom to see other people!  
  
I s'pose it works. Even when we WERE dating, I'd still find him checking out the other girls. And I guess I did nag him a lot. But who cares, right?! Guys are such pooheads, anyway!  
  
I struggled to free the tangle of gum from my hair. You get some like that, as an Instructor---the kids who love you, and the kids who hate you. Natanya was one of those. You should hear some of the names she calls me behind my back! It's so MEAN! She doesn't even know my mother!  
  
Well, I don't even know my mother, either. She died in the Second Sorceress War(this time, it was Adel, and I was too little to kick her bum. But Sir Laguna sure did a good job!). But it was okay. Matron was enough to make up for TWO mothers!  
  
I was really glad that Matron was back at Garden. I was so worried when we had to fight her. But in the end, everything turned out A-Okay! Just like I knew it would, of course.  
  
Now, where was I going? Oh, right, to the cafeteria for my lunch break. Maybe the lunch lady could help me get this stupid gum out of my hair. Well, no. Ick! I didn't want her touching the nasty Natanya-gum, then touching our food! Blech! I figured that I'd get Quisty to help me. She's patient with those sort of things.  
  
"Selphie!"I spun around, and there was Rinoa running up a flight of stairs to catch up to me. I was really glad that Rinoa was okay, too. Of course, maybe I was just glad that she didn't want to turn us all into guinea pigs more than anything.  
  
"Hey! Oh, wowza! Let me help you with some of that stuff!"Rinoa had an armful of stuff as big as Zell's appetite, if anything could be said to be so enormous. I took some of the cardboard and the streamers from her."What's all this?"  
  
"Duh! The Garden decorations!"she said, grinning broadly from ear to ear."This year's Festival is going to be great!"  
  
"Yeah, but last year's was booyaka-in' awesome, too!"I reminded her, giving her a pointed look. She giggled, then got a dreamy look.  
  
"Last year's was SO romantic........"Sometimes Rin's like that. Her eyes get all clouded over, like someone cast a Blind spell on her. Once, I went up behind her and cast Esuna because I thought she'd gotten Blinded in the training center, but it was just that 'romantic' look.  
  
Heys! I'm romantic, too! But I think there's more to a relationship than all that mushy stuff! I think that if you can really go out and have some FUN! with someone, then it doesn't matter how sensitive or sweet or caring they are.  
  
I guess Rin must've thought so, too, because Squall was none of those things. In an instant, the Blind look faded away."Oh! I almost forgot! I've got some things to tell you. Zell booked that band from Balamb that he knows, the guy and the chick. Squall's working out a date with Headmaster Cid and Headmistress Edea, and Irvine is currently in the cafeteria arguing with the lunch lady over what to serve. She's trying to explain to him that kahlua isn't an appetizer."  
  
Really? I think I missed the humor in that, because Rinoa was laughing and I didn't see what was so funny. It was just an honest mistake, wasn't it? Wait. With Irvy, there WAS no 'honest mistakes'. Well, okay. Things for the Garden Festival were going in full swing! Yippee!  
  
"Ummm........oh, Quistis is working on designing posters to put all around Garden, and I'm taking these upstairs to finish decorating the stage."Rin's face fell."I was really hoping to do more, but I've got my field exam coming up, and I don't have time for much else."  
  
It was okay, I knew how brutal those things could be. And I had to take mine with ZELL, the world's biggest pig! "Don't sweat it, Rinnie. You guys have all done a lot. Since it's break, I don't have any classes to plan, so I can help out more, too!"  
  
"Oh!"Rinoa snapped her fingers."Hey Selph, there's a problem with the central lighting on the stage. One of the wires short-circuited, I think, and now all the lights are down. I would say change the time so that the show is during the day, but don't you think that the lights make it more dramatic?"  
  
I nodded."Superly-majorly-definitely."  
  
"Then, I have an idea. Could you take the Ragnarok and hop over to FH for the day? See if you can get one of the technicians to help us. If they won't do it, just threaten another missile crisis or something, like we did the last time."  
  
It was so easy to pull those FH guys' strings."Okie! I'll be back as soon as I can!"Yes! Another chance to fly the Ragnarok! I LOVED flying that ship! Flying, flying, FLYING! Whee!  
  
"Thanks, Selph."Rinoa waved and walked away. I waved too, and bounded off towards the newly built Ragnarok deck. Rinoa's friend Watts was standing there, guarding the ship. He was a member of the newly re-created disciplinary committee, since Seifer and Co. suddenly vanished.  
  
"Good day, miss,"he said, as polite and dorky as ever. You had to love it, though."Shall you be taking off, today?"  
  
"Unh-hunh."I smiled."Good day to you to, Watts!"I stretched each word out slowly and deliberately, trying to get my point across.  
  
"Yes, nice weather, isn't it?"Honestly, Watts can be so dense, sometimes. Well, at least he doesn't have a thing for dirty magazines, like Zone."All right, Miss Selphie! Ragnarok is ready for takeoff!"  
  
I hopped aboard and settled into the pilot's seat, deciding to have super- mega-awesome fun with the new turbo boosters the FH guys had installed. The Garden Festival was in full swing, Ultimecia was gone, everything was PERFECT!  
  
Whoo-hoo! Blast off!  
  
  
  
**************************************************************************** *************  
  
  
  
Okay, well that was done. The FH technicians didn't even NEED to be blackmailed or threatened. They just wanted tickets to the Garden Festival. Which was okay enough. We weren't selling a whole lot, anyway.  
  
Frowning, I decided to go for a walk, and think about what I could do to make the Garden Festival sound more interesting. Maybe games or something? Like a fair or a carnival?  
  
But all I could think about was how badly Fisherman's Horizon smelled. This weird odor of melting metal, sylkis liqueur, and.........well, fish.  
  
When I neared around the train station, I was in for the shock of a life. Well, not the shock of a LIFE, but of this moment, definitely. The shock of my life was when I discovered that you couldn't put a tuna sandwich in the blender, without it's inevitable result. I liked the blender, it SMASHED things. Matron had to get rid of hers before the house was ever clean again.  
  
But anyway, I'm digressing. The point is, I heard a voice.  
  
"...........Hyne, Timitt, someone spit in your hair?"Super-duper-mega- BUMMER! Was that none other than the snotty, condescending voice of SEIFER that I heard behind me?  
  
I tried, really I did. But I just couldn't think of a single good thing that he'd done in his life. I know that my philosophy was 'Peace! Love! And Happiness!', but for some unknown reason, he irked me beyond all imaginings.  
  
"For your info, it's GUM!"I retorted, and realized that wasn't exactly the most marvelous thing to say. Dumb and Dumber(otherwise known as Fujin and Raijin) snickered at me from behind their 'leader''s back. I decided to try a different tactic. The LEAVE ME ALONE tactic."Look, I'VE got stuff to do. Unlike some pathetic low-lifes who spent their lives groveling under the skirts of a sorceress who had the worst fashion sense I'd ever seen in ALL time eras, I HAVE a job. And it doesn't require standing here wasting time with you."  
  
Woooooah! Did I just SAY that? There went my philosophy out the window. Plus, I knew it was a low blow. For the first time since I laid eyes on him, Seifer Almasy was virtually speechless. If the situation weren't so irritating and precarious both at the same time, I would have wanted to take a picture.  
  
Deciding just to leave it at that, I turned to walk away. Suddenly, my head was jerked backward in the most painful sort of ways as someone yanked on my hair."Ow! Quit it, ya jerk!"I whirled around, snapping the Strange Vision taut between my hands.  
  
Ah. The traditional Seifer-smirk was back. I wanted to slap it off his face, break it in half, and mop the floor with it.  
  
Did I mention that I get a little violent sometimes?  
  
"TILMITT, EXPLAIN."Fujin went on with her no-nonsense voice. I shrugged.  
  
"I'm planning the Garden Festival. Don't worry, you're not on my 'Most Wanted' list."My good mood was returned like that. People say I do that--- just change moods back and forth."Yet."  
  
"Hey, who is, ya know?"Albeit his stupidity, Raijin wasn't so bad. Fujin kicked him for---oh no!---consorting with the ENEMY!"Ow!"  
  
"Here's your gum, messenger girl."Funny how Seifer could say things in the quietest of voices, and yet everyone still hears him. Still, actions say more than words, and HIS next action sure said a helluva lot!  
  
With perfect accuracy, he threw the wadded up piece of spearmint gum right down the front of my sundress!  
  
As I spluttered with rage and tried to retrieve it, while still holding onto my dignity, he casually sauntered away. The Gruesome Twosome hurried after him. They were like the Three Stooges---you never saw one without the others.  
  
But, oh---one of these days, I was going to get him back! That was SO uncool---not to mention embarassing! While I was digging down the front of my dress, the Mayor's wife Flo had walked by and gave me a scandalized look!  
  
"Grrrr,"I growled."Just wait, you poohead! I'll get you back for this, Seifer Almasy!"  
  
  
  
  
  
AN~So? What'd everyone think? Sorry, the first part isn't really funny. It's too early in the morning for me to bust out humor. Yeah....*shakes head sadly* Pathetic, isn't it? Plus, I didn't want to make it too long. Okay, so there is no excuse for this. It was kinda like a fever-dream. Or a druggie dream. Actually, it was more like a 'was-up-until-3-am-in-the- morning-and-decided-to-write-something-cute-and-funny-that-ended-up-to-be- neither-of-those-things' type thing.*sigh* Well, let me know what you think, anyway. Truthfully, please!*is nice*BTW, this was more like an intro part. I was trying to get you acquainted with everything---Selphie and Irvine broke up, Rinoa's trying to join SeeD, and Selphie's planning another Garden Festival. That's about it. ~tigerofthewind~ 


	2. The Message From Hell!

Hey! I Could Be A Messenger From Hyne, Ya Know!- A Misadventurous Romance Story  
  
Chapter Two-The Message From Hell  
  
  
  
AN~Sorry, this is still making me laugh. After a bit of a slow-starting first chapter, I'm moving along with the funnier parts, now. Thanks to those who have reviewed(if anyone has, I'm not on FF.net right now). Thus, I dedicate this chapter to you. ~tigerofthewind~  
  
  
  
I was NOT about to be upshoted by an asshole. It had taken me at least an hour to get all the gum off of my dress. As it went, I wasn't even sure where the cause of my enmity had started from. I was always picked on by the other students, being called 'ditzy' and 'bimbo-bitch' and other nasty things that I'm sure they whispered at me when I wasn't looking or listening.  
  
So why would ONE person make me so angry? Well, I didn't like the fact that he had outsmarted me. Man, that wasn't FAIR! He played dirty!  
  
Well, I'd think of something good to get him back with.(I wonder if I could get any stuff out of the student records........)  
  
I wasn't exactly a whiz with computers like Squall, but I knew my way around. Before long, I was hacking into Garden's student profiles.  
  
"Selph! What are you DOING?!"(Darn it! Why'd stupid Zell have to show up right now, anyway?! Couldn't he see I was busy?!"You can't hack into the school's database! Squall'd lay an egg or something if he found out!"  
  
The thought of Squall laying an egg, or laying anything in general, caused me to burst into giggles. A few of my students looked up from the test they were taking, and snickered. I hoped that no one heard about my hacking. That would be superly suck-ass.  
  
"Fine, fine."I logged off of my account(BoOyaKaBooM!), and turned around to face Zell. As per his custom, a hot dog was his Ehrgeisz-clad hands."Should you be eating one of your own kind?"I asked, gesturing towards what once had used to be a fraction of a pig. Zell glared at me.  
  
"I just needed to borrow your electric pencil-sharpener, damn,"he muttered. I shoved it across the desk towards him, laughing at his own job of teaching the junior classmen until lunch break."Hyne, one of the girls finger-painted all over the back row of computers, then little Eleis shoved three crayons into the sharpener and now it's jammed........"  
  
He sounded older than what he actually was. I did have to admit, teaching little kids was something I never envisioned Zell doing with his life. Of course, he did his martial-arts classes in the evening, but I figured that maybe Quisty would take on the younger kids............nope. I couldn't see that, either. I could see it as something Rinoa would do, if she ever became an instructor. Maybe even me, I like kids.  
  
"Sorry, Zell."Suddenly, I grabbed my Strange Vision from underneath my desk and smacked at a girl's hand traveling across the aisle to her friend. A folded-up piece of paper flew across the room in an arc. Everyone's favorite Chickenwuss looked a bit taken aback.  
  
I found the whacking method pretty efficient, actually. After accidentally hitting myself with my nunchaku during my training, I know how much it hurts. And thus, the note-passing stops.  
  
Zell snarfed down the hot dog in a gulp that would have made a Malboro proud. Then, tossing the wrapper into the trashcan near my desk, he waved and headed out the door.  
  
He was a funny one, actually. Apart from being a total loser and a pig, I think I could like him. He's great to laugh at."OHHHHH, HYYYYYYYNE!!!!!!!!"  
  
And he'd just realized that he'd left the junior classmen all alone in his absence.  
  
On of the girls looked up from her test."Erm........what's wrong with Instructor Dincht?"  
  
I grinned."Maybe he's laying an egg."Laughter all around.  
  
Suddenly, the door to my room swished open. I was busy hacking away at the directory again, so I didn't look up. "Zell, what---"  
  
".........Selphie."I spun around, quickly shutting off the monitor to my comp.  
  
"Oh! Hi, Quisty! What's wrong?"I don't know why I asked. Quisty's face ALWAYS looks like that.  
  
But today, something actually WAS wrong."Bit of disturbing news. Step outside, please."  
  
"But I've got class, and---"  
  
"It'll only take a second."Rather reluctantly, I abandoned my chair and followed Quisty out into the hall. As the doors swished shut behind us, I heard the faint noise of hurried whispers.  
  
"What? They're taking a test."  
  
"..............Esthar's built a Garden."  
  
".........................................WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!"Quistis quickly beckoned at me for quiet.  
  
"Shhhh, shhhh. We don't want word to get around. Squall's doing research on it, and sending a letter to Laguna about what the hell it is they're doing. Garden's are neutral territory, so we can't sack them for anything yet, but........."  
  
She paused, as if she were trying to think of a way to rephrase something so it didn't sound so bad.".............The only problem is............well, Seifer's the Commander of the new Garden."  
  
(What?! NO WAY!) I couldn't think. That was impossible, wasn't it?! Well, I couldn't say that. It had been over a year since the stuff with Ultimecia. There definitely would have been enough time to build a new Garden, and with Esthar's technology............."What are we supposed to do, Quisty? Man, this is BAD!"  
  
"Well, you know how Gardens are privately funded, right? Well, the first thing we want to do is to find out who's funding this Garden. That's why, we need a spy."  
  
"A sp---"I stopped and saluted, as 'Commander Leonheart' suddenly came walking up behind Quistis. She turned and saluted, too.  
  
"Good morning, Commander,"said Quistis, all formal-like. I like that tone. It makes me envision a giant stick up her bum. Even Squall looked a bit amused. I, however, went for a different approach.  
  
"Mornin', Squall!"I said cheerfully, and he laughed. Not very loudly, but laughed nonetheless.  
  
"And to you, Selphie,"he said, staring at Quistis so she would get the message. Suddenly, he grew official."Tilmitt. I have an assignment for you."  
  
"An assignment? But I'm not a SeeD, and---"  
  
"Yes, she's an instructor,"added Quistis, looking as confused as I felt. Squall shrugged.  
  
"Are you listening, or not? Selphie, I want you to infiltrate Esthar Garden, find out who is funding it, and tell us of any illegal actions that they might be preparing to initiate."His expression darkened, until he looked more like the Squall I had known when we first had met."If Seifer's in charge, then that makes things a little more diffucult for us. That means Esthar's gotta be up to something---he wouldn't just do this on his own."  
  
"Erm........but what am I supposed to do?"I piped up, looking at them anxiously. I had to admit it, I was nervous. Squall and Quisty looked like they were about to tie themselves up in knots, like the people I had seen on TV.  
  
"Tilmitt, you are to pose as a SeeD instructor applying to Esthar Garden, gather reliable information on the subjects we've brought to your attention, and relay the information back to us. I've booked you a train across the Horizon Bridge---next train won't be for a week, so you'd better get moving."He nodded at me."Good luck."  
  
And then he walked away, just like that! If wind and a tumbleweed had blown by where Quistis and I had been standing, I wouldn't have been surprised."Well, jeez. He coulda just said that I was a spy."  
  
And Quisty and I burst out laughing.  
  
  
  
**************************************************************************** ***************  
  
  
  
"The message from hell?"Irvine asked me, after I had finished telling him my story."Sounds bad."  
  
"It was."We were sitting at a table in the cafeteria, me trying to eat something and not die of nervousness before I left on the train. It was hard. Ever since Squall had told me of my newest mission, something had been bothering me. It wasn't the mission itself, covert ops and disguises and stuff weren't any trouble to me.  
  
Maybe I just ate too many hot dogs.  
  
"Well..........."Irvy looked a bit embarrassed as we stood up to leave."............Nothin' left but to be careful, I guess."  
  
That was his way of saying:'I'm worried about you. Don't get yourself hurt.'  
  
See? I knew him pretty well. Together, we headed out of the cafeteria. Just as we were about to make a right turn to head to the front gate, that's when the thought occured to me. I smacked myself on the forehead(which hurt a lot, now that I think about it) and made a left instead, heading for the elevator that led to Squall's office(formerly Headmaster Cid's office, but he prefered to make the sub-basement downstairs into his office).  
  
"Duh!"I shouted to Irvine."HOW can they expect me to do this?!"He was baffled, but I knew what I was talking about."SQUALL!!!"I bellowed, bursting through the door to his office. He'd been looking through some papers with a expression that was both bored and tired on his face, but when I flew in, he looked up with a worried frown.  
  
"Selphie? Is something wrong? If you don't hurry, you'll miss your train-- -"  
  
"I can't do it!"I shouted at him, my happy-go-lucky demeanor vanishing for an instant."Didn't you guys think that Seifer might see through this?! I mean, he KNOWS I'm a student here, for Hyne's sake!"  
  
Squall shrugged."Who else can I send? It's not a matter of competence, Selphie---it just seems like out of all of us, you're the one who Seifer doesn't really know that well---or hate. Chances are, it'll be someone of a smaller ranking who interviews the instructors, anyway. I'm just saying, you might not be recognized. And if you are, then pretend like your loyalties have gone from Balamb to elsewhere."  
  
Irvine clearly had no idea what was going on. Tipping his hat at the two of us, he took his leave."But Squall,"I protested,"I JUST saw him, yesterday! He was in FH with Fujin and Raijin. You mean to tell me that he knew what was going on the whole time, and didn't even gloat?"  
  
Squall looked interested."Really? Then that means for sure they're hiding something, if they would keep Esthar Garden such a secret up until now."He shook his head firmly."Sorry, Selphie. You've GOT to go on this mission. I don't care what you have to do to succeed, but make sure that you do."He turned his attention back to the papers. "Dismissed."  
  
"But I---"  
  
"DISMISSED."His tone clearly said that the matter was settled. Defeated, I headed downstairs from his office and borrowed one of the cars from the Balamb parking lot. Still brooding, I drove down to Balamb Station.  
  
"One ticket for the one-way trip across the Horizon Bridge,"I said mutely, drawing a laugh from the ticket salesman.  
  
"One-way, hunh? You got a death wish, or something? There ain't nothing there but plains and dangerous monsters. Most people go for the view of the Great Salt Lake. If you're hopin' to get into Esthar, forgeddaboutit. They don't let anyone but those techno-freaks though."  
  
"Techno-freaks?"I was suddenly interested. Happy to be able pass through gossip, the ticketseller leaned closer to me confidentially.  
  
"Yeah, those people from that place on the Horizon Bridge. You know, Fisherman's Horizon. Heard a bunch of them packed up and went to Esthar not long ago."  
  
(Yeah, but I wonder why? To keep up maintenance on the Garden? To even, finish building it?)"Well, I'm not from FH."I thought quickly."Ummm, I'm just going camping for a few days. I'll pick up another ticket on the other side of the Bridge."  
  
He seemed to buy it(yes!). Shrugging disinterestedly and ruffling his paper back up, he idly shoved a train ticket in my direction. It smelled of badly cooked Balamb fish. I hated to imagine the noises that he made when there wasn't the hustle and bustle of Balamb to drown them out.  
  
I wished that I could take the SeeD private car. But since I was supposed to be going incognito, I had to pass. Instead, I walked up and down the length of the train, singing my little 'Train, train, take us away' song.  
  
Truthfully, I wanted to be a musician someday.  
  
Finally, the train pulled into Esthar. I desperately wanted to make a report to Squall about what I'd heard from the ticketseller, but I didn't dare risk it with all those people around. One woman was already looking at me oddly because of my song.  
  
I went one way, the tourists went another. They were headed for the Great Salk Lake, which was boring in its entirety; I was heading...........  
  
I didn't know. Squall never told me where the location of this 'Esthar Garden' was. Well, no sweat. I could just send a transmission to Squall and ask him the rough location of the new Garden, and............  
  
"Ack!"Before I could pull out my laptop, a giant Malboro appeared, drooling out of it's red, spike-teethed mouth and waving around it's sickly- looking green tentacles.(Oh no!) That one thought had time to run through my mind before a nasty greenish-black gas came zooming for me, and---  
  
"Ow!"It spit on me! But where was it? They were everywhere..........."Ow!"This time, I hit myself with my own nunchaku. The aftereffects of Sleep and Confuse wore off. But oh, I was so MAD!!!  
  
I started hitting like a maniac, but I couldn't stop! Not even to cast Esuna(which I couldn't because I was Silenced) or to use a Remedy! Plus, I didn't even cast a Cure spell on myself!  
  
On more hit, and it would finish me off. Poison was slowly coursing it's way through my body............ My feet and torso and the greater part of my arms were turned to stone.............  
  
Oh, great! I was gonna die before I even started my mission, and all because I forgot to Junction before I went out!  
  
Something flew from out of nowhere and hit the Malboro. I could barely see it, because the stupid thing had cast Blind on me, too. I was gonna make it pay, even if it was the last thing I did.............  
  
I was Berserked, too, of course. The thing darted around and hit it again. Maybe it was because I couldn't see straight, but from my point of view, it was the fastest thing I'd ever seen. The Malboro screamed in anger(and maybe pain, I hoped it was pain because I was so MAD!).  
  
It screeched and fell to the ground, so I could believe that it was dead. But the instincts in me still wanted to fight, so I targeted the thing that had prevented my untimely demise!  
  
Luckily, it blocked my attack. I think I woulda felt bad if I had killed it."Hyne, Tilmitt, take it easy!"  
  
What? I knew that voice........ Whatever it was, it cast Esuna on me. I dropped to me knees, using Recover as fast as I could. Man, that was nice. I'd forgotten what it had felt like to be status-free........ Shaking my head to clear any cobwebs that might have built there, I climbed to my feet.  
  
It was Seifer. I jumped to my feet in a flash, drawing my Strange Vision again. He gave me a clearly disgusted look."They send you all the way out here, and you can't even fend off a lousy Malboro?"  
  
"Butthead,"I muttered, but I was ever-so-unfortunately in his debt, and thus I put my nunchaku away. Then, remembering the mission, I added:"No one sent me."  
  
"Right."He gave his 'I'm-totally-righteous' smirk."Don't tell me you came out here for the view. Admit it, puberty boy and the headmaster sent you out here to spy on me."  
  
"You think I'd actually do it?"I bluffed, managing to sound angry and not scared that my cover would be blown. "When I truly can't stand you? Not for all the gil in the world, butthead!"  
  
He seemed to contemplate that for a second. Then, he crossed his arms stubbornly over his chest."Then, explain. Don't tell me you've never seen the Great Salt Lake before, because I know you have."  
  
"Erm........."How was I supposed to get into Esthar Garden again?! Man, not now!"..........I came for a job as an Instructor, that's all."  
  
The smirk again."Sure ya did, Tilmitt. Like I'd let you apply, anyway. Send a spy right into the heart of my operations? Hah!"  
  
"Oh, so you WERE up to something bad!"I had him there. It gave me great satisfaction, I will admit, to see him splutter and try to save himself from the hole he had dug.  
  
"What---no, I--- Ah, forget it."He shrugged."Fine. I'll let ya apply. But only because we don't have a nunchaku specialist, yet. But there's somethin' I wanna know, first. Why'd ya do it? Leave Balamb to head out here? Chickenwuss piss you off one too many times, or somethin'?"  
  
I thought hard. I don't know why I hadn't thought of this before. I mean, it's not like I'd thought that he'd just come straight out, tell me everything I needed to know, and I could take the train back home with a full report. No questions asked."............I got tired of everyone not believing in me."As I spoke, I was surprised to find out that part of me was actually telling the truth. Woah! Megaly-weird, hunh?"Squall wasn't giving me enough shots to try and prove myself. I was tired of being an instructor who only taught her students through books. I think kids should have hands-on training."  
  
"Hmm........"It was strange to see Seifer actually THINKING.".............Don't think I won't be keepin' an eye on you, Tilmitt. Until I know where your loyalties lie, I'm gonna be your shadow. You'll be lucky if you can take a piss without me standing outside the door banging on it and yellin' at you to hurry up."  
  
Damn. There went one of my plans, down the drain."Fine,"I said, as bravely as I could muster."I don't have anything to hide."  
  
And I started walking away. But as much as I didn't 'have anything to hide'............I didn't know where I was going, either.  
  
The asshole that was Seifer started laughing."The other way, Tilmitt!"  
  
Sighing resignedly to myself, I went to follow him.(Man),I thought.(Irvine was right. That WAS the message from hell. Now I've got to spend Hyne-knows-how-long with this butthead as my boss! Well, just you wait. Bringing down your stupid Esthar Garden is the perfect revenge!)  
  
I laughed evilly to myself, as we headed over the Great Plains of Esthar.  
  
  
  
  
  
AN~Well, the end of the second part! What'd everyone think? Hee, interesting plot development! Esthar's starting a Garden! Why? Don't worry, all the loose ends will tie themselves up in time! Selphie's still planning revenge! Why can't she just drop it?! Heh. Yeah, well, expect a Chapter 3 soon in the making! ~tigerofthewind~ 


	3. This Job Blows!

Hey! I Could Be A Messenger From Hyne, Ya Know!- A Misadventurous Romance Story  
  
Chapter Three-This Job Blows!  
  
  
  
AN~Okay, I really have too much fun naming these chapters. I really want to thank the fifteen reviews I've had so far(even though I did some myself, and other people posted more than one review). For some reason, mainly because this isn't your usual pairing, I didn't think this story would take off. But I'm glad to see that everyone likes it!^_^ This chapter is dedicated to IsidraC, and Aeris Ennui, because they've been SO nice to me, and talk to me on AIM. I wuv yoo guys! *not in a homosexual way* ~tigerofthewind~  
  
  
  
It was official. As I sat in the all-too-silent classroom watching the kids working studiously at their desks, one thing crossed my mind.  
  
(This job blows.)  
  
It really did. Esthar Garden in itself had this stiff atmosphere, even worse than Galbadia Garden's stick-up-the-bum appearance. The instructors were strict, the rules even stricter. Students were expected to be smacked with rulers and all this horror-boarding-school-stuff if they were bad.  
  
Some things were different about me, though. First off, my room was always decorated in bright colors. Today's color was green---all shades of green, but especially bright green. The students liked it, it gave them something interesting to talk about. Secondly, I didn't believe in using corporal punishment on my students(although the nunchaku-smacking to prevent the spread of libel and gossip still stood).  
  
Plus, I tried to make lessons FUN. I know, FUN. The word that you'd never envision pairing together with Esthar. But you know? I was really hoping that I'd be able to plan a Garden Festival here, too. Maybe even invite Sir Laguna, since he was the president of Esthar, and all..........  
  
I'd seen Fujin and Raijin poking around, too. They were the head of Esthar's disciplinary committee(the kids hoped to get Raijin as their advisor, mainly because he'd been smacked around his whole life and knew how much it hurt). Also, I wasn't allowed to have access to Garden's computers, nor even have a computer in my classroom.  
  
But all that was about to change. I'd gotten a password from one of my female students, agreeing to set up a date for her with an upper-classmen she liked. Her login account was HoppinIt45, and her password, believe it or not, was 'sirseifer'(I think she has too much spare time on her hands....ick!). It didn't matter, though. I had a key. I had a way in. Now, if I could tap into even some of the basic stuff, like a message board, or even the tutorial, I could finally relay a decent report back to Squall.  
  
I'd only been employed at Esthar Garden for a month, but I still felt like I should be doing more work than what I was now. I'd given a report back to Squall on the basic structure and location of Esthar Garden, not to mention the best-detailed floor plan I could produce(I was never any good at that planning and measuring stuff, it makes my head hurt), but I knew that he was expecting more.  
  
You see, what I had said to the Esthar Asshole(known to most as Seifer, mind you) wasn't entirely inaccurate. I knew what Squall and Zell and maybe even Headmaster Cid himself thought of me. That I was too hyperactive, too mercurial to be able to handle a mission of any real importance without other SeeD members as supports. So, I planned to show them all. It just so happens that I'll happen to be getting revenge for my misadventures, as well.  
  
But that could wait. Right now, a hand was stretching itself across the aisle.........  
  
WHACK! The note went flying, like it had done so often back in my Balamb days. The student, Mira, looked pretty embarrassed."Got me again, hunh, Instructor Tilmitt?"  
  
I laughed and pointed my finger at her test."Get back to work, Mira."  
  
Other than those small reposes, however, each day went in and out the same. I'll admit it; I was bored, I missed Balamb. Everything was out of the ordinary there, whether it was some delinquents sneaking down into the sub-basement to poke the glowing ball that was the former Garden Master NORG with sticks, or the juinor classmen trying to flush a GF down the toilet(poor Carbuncle never did recover from that one, I'll wager). But here? Everything was so.......so.........BORING. I bet Squall would like it though, it seemed like he'd fit in perfectly here.  
  
The students had just finished their tests when the bell rang. Despite the fact that some of them had finished early, they all remained sitting upright in their chairs, not moving. I swear, I think they were even BREATHING in unison. I gathered the remaining papers on my desk to grade for later."Okay. Prison's over."  
  
They cheered, and ordinarily would have ran out of class like they usually do(poor kids, they've got so much pent-up energy---I know the feeling), but today, they didn't. I wondered if Fujin was patrolling the halls like she had been the other day.  
  
A few muffled greetings of 'Hello, sir' and 'Have a nice day, sir' informed me that she was not(unless she was really a closet-room crossdresser, like I had thought). I paid no heed; I had other things to do. It was my lunch break(finally!), but I still had some GF reports to grade, so I was eating in my room today(although that wasn't really anything new, I'd been doing a lot of that, lately).  
  
I had just settled down with my Balamb fish sandwich and started reading about Odin, when a voice made me nearly choke to death on Zantetsuken.  
  
"Holy Hyne, Tilmitt, it looks like a Cactuar exploded in here!"Guess who that was? Yep. The thing that enjoys making my life miserable. Sighing resignedly to myself, I got to my feet and saluted, all the while wanting to hurl my sandwich right in his face.  
  
"Hello, Seifer,"I said wearily, thinking about how much more work I would be getting done if he hadn't interrupted. The self-righteous smirk he usually wore was instantly replaced with a scowl.  
  
"Sir,"he said brusquely, and I thought for a moment that he was calling me a man, until I realized that I was supposed to address him as that. The thought itself made my sandwich begin to rise in my throat........  
  
"Hello, SIR,"I said for emphasis, still holding my salute. Hyne, if only the mission wouldn't be ruined if I killed him right here and now.............  
  
"At ease, Tilmitt."I relaxed and, just to make him as angry as I was, sat back down again and sifted through the reports. I could almost see the vein on his head throbbing."Explain,"he said, his voice tight."Why is your classroom roughly the color of a diseased Tonberry, or a Zombied Wendigo?"  
  
"The kids liked it,"I told him, taking a huge bit out of my sandwich, and thoroughly enjoying his barely supressed rage."Since everything here's all the same shade of gray, I thought it would be fun to give them something different for a change."  
  
(No, Cerberus doesn't perform 'Hell Fire'),I was thinking idly to myself, when I felt a hand like a death band clamp itself on my shoulder.(Hmmm. So I still haven't scared it away.)  
  
"Tilmitt. Walk with me."  
  
Oh, no. What did it want this time?"But I've got class---"  
  
"Lunch for an hour. I know your schedule, Tilmitt. Walk and eat."  
  
"But these papers---"  
  
"Can wait. Let's go."It was more of a command than anything. I mean, I wasn't supposed to argue with him the FIRST time. I clambored to my feet, wondering if maybe we might go by the cafeteria so I could pick myself up a decent lunch(Balamb fish just aren't very filling).  
  
"Is there a problem, sir?"I asked, genuinely confused. I hadn't done anything YET.  
  
Then, to my ULTIMATE surprise, he was shaking his head."Not of yet."  
  
"Why am I here, then? I mean, I've got TONS of grading to do, and---"I didn't care that I was complaining. LET him suffer! Mwah ha ha!  
  
"Tilmitt, you work too much. And is THAT your lunch?"  
  
WHAT?! I replayed the scene in my mind. He was ASKING A NON-INSULTING OR INFORMATIVE QUESTION ABOUT ME?!?!?!?!?! It confused me greatly."Umm, yeah."  
  
We made a sudden sharp left, and I realized that we were indeed heading for the cafeteria.(Yes!)I cheered silently to myself. But I was still wondering what made him do it."He-ey! Why're we heading down this way, sir?"  
  
A long silence on his behalf(honestly, I liked him BETTER when he was silent).".........Buy you lunch."  
  
Oh, so now he thought I couldn't afford a decent lunch, hunh?!"Hey, I can buy lunch for myself, ya know! Just because I'm too busy working---"  
  
He looked a bit ticked off(and, I would come to realize later, even a little bit offended)."I was just being courteous, Tilmitt. Damn."  
  
"WHY?"It slipped out; I couldn't help it. Seifer shrugged disinterestedly.  
  
"If you die from starvation, we'll be out a nunchaku specialist, and another instructor. Two quit last week, and quite frankly, we can't afford to lose any more. I know I threw those two extra classes at you, Tilmitt, but I didn't have much of a choice. My office is being swamped every day by requests for transfer over to your classes. I came by today to find out why."  
  
"........Oh."I decided to broach a subject that had been bothering me for some time."Sir? Why push these kids so hard, sir? Both you and I know that Balamb was never like this, and most kids from there turn out okay."  
  
He bristled at the mention of Balamb."These kids need toughening up, so they can be soldiers for the army. That way, SeeD doesn't have to do all the dirty work."  
  
Once again, I pushed my luck(secretly, I was hoping he would get so angry and explode, and I would toast bread on him)."Sir............have you ever thought about whether these kids WANTED to join the army?"  
  
"What?"We stopped in the lunch line, and he stared at me as though he'd never seen anything quite like me before. It was another one of those camera-moment expressions. I made a mental note to myself to carry one around with me at all times.  
  
I plunged on before I could stop myself."To me, it just seems like these kids joined Garden because they wanted to meet new friends, and learn something at the same time. Training them to be SeeDs is okay, but to join the army? At least with being a SeeD, they would get to stay here at Garden between missions."  
  
"Hmmm..........."I still couldn't get used to the totally bizarro sight of Seifer THINKING. Instead, I dug around in my pockets for some change to pay for lunch.  
  
"Tilmitt, lunch is on me."I knew better than to argue(besides, I was poor right now, anyway).  
  
"Thank you, sir."And so, we wove our way through the mass of students and tables(I think the kids saw Seifer coming, and cleared out a pathway for him, truthfully) and sat down at the table farthest in the corner. Practically every kid in the cafeteria was staring at us, until Seifer fixed them with his patented death glare and they all went back to doing whatever it was they were doing(or at least pretended to, anyway).  
  
We didn't say a lot, which was fine by me. That gave me extra time to think about how I was going to manage to hack into Esthar Garden's security system. As it was, my lunch disappeared quickly. I didn't even realize how hungry I was, until it was all gone. Checking my watch, I saw that my hour lunch break was almost up. So, I got to my feet and stretched."Sir---"  
  
"Tilmitt."  
  
"So, ummm.......thanks for lunch, 'kay? I was really glad to have a break."He got to his feet, and started walking away.  
  
"Good. Because I'm added another seven students to each of your morning classes. Be prepared to update them on your curriculum by tomorrow, Tilmitt."  
  
What in Hyne's name----?! Hey! That was SO not fair! By the sound of his laughter as he headed for the door, I knew that lunch had just been a setup, so he could sick more students on me! Stupid, ungrateful---!  
  
"Ah, you lousy get of a cart-horse and a trollop's bastard!"I shouted, and flung my carton of chocolate milk at him as hard as I could.  
  
Ever since I had gotten the Strange Vision, my accuracy on things had been greatly increased. Thus, the carton of chocolate milk made a lovely SPLATing noise as it slammed into the back of Seifer's head. There was dead silence all around the cafeteria before the Beast roared:  
  
"TILMITT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"Giggling insanely, I cartwheeled past him and out of the cafeteria. As I left, I could have sworn that I heard applause. Finally, I was one-up on Seifer.  
  
Later that night, I got the chance to be another two-up on him, when I remembered the computers in the cafeteria. Pretending to sneak down to get a late-night snack(it wasn't a problem, because the faculty who stood guard to make sure that kids obeyed curfew had seen the incident today, and let me pass without much trouble), I logged onto the terminal under the girl's name, HoppinIt45.  
  
I checked out some boring stuff first, like the message board. Actually, it wasn't so boring. A lot of students thought my show today was the funniest thing they'd seen in ages.  
  
'Hey, did you guys see what Instructor T. did today? The Commander was so pissed, that no one could get near him for hours! That's the kind of stuff we need here!'-G.I.  
  
'G.I., you're so right! Instructor T. kicks ass!'-Joh  
  
'Hey, did you know those last two that posted on the message board spell G.I. Joh? It's funny, isn't it? Hello???'-Mira R.  
  
'Mira R., you're nuts. We should start a fan club for Instructor T.! But what should we call it?'-X  
  
"A fan club, hmmm?"A sudden voice behind me made me jump. Oh, no! It was the Beast! And he caught me logging into the school's terminals, and.........OH HYNE, I WAS SO SCREWED!!!!!!!!!!  
  
"Umm....tee hee........."  
  
"Tilmitt."Forcibly, Seifer threw an arm around my shoulders and steered me away from the cafeteria's computers."Let's go for a walk."  
  
"Honestly, I just wanted to post stuff on the message board---"I tried to protest, but I didn't get much farther than that.  
  
"Do you KNOW........."he hissed, his face dangerously close to mine,"what Esthar Garden regulations are for dealing with SPIES........?"  
  
I gulped. I had a pretty good idea."Sir, I---"  
  
"Tilmitt, I can't fire you."He sounded as though his birthday had been ruined."Especially after what you did today, the students'll have my ass for it. But expect this---you won't be seen ANYWHERE without me following you around. Not teaching, not eating---Hyne, maybe not even sleeping. You've put me in a bit of a tough spot, Tilmitt---but know, that I can make it ten times worse for you."  
  
He didn't have to speak loudly to get the point across. The threat held a world of meaning, and none of it was good for me. In a sense, he was like Zell---hell bent on revenge.  
  
I was too, wasn't I? Planning to take down Esthar Garden not just because Squall ordered me to, but also just because Seifer threw gum down the front of my dress? Instantly, I felt kinda bad. So far, Esthar hadn't really been doing anything, and I was ruining a home for a lot of these kids by trying to trash it. I felt I had to say it.  
  
"Yes, I am a spy,"I sighed, hanging my head so low that I felt like it would touch the floor."I was hired by Balamb. They sent me because they thought that you were planning something megaly-superbly-giguntly nasty."  
  
"THEY thought? So then, Tilmitt, you're different?"There was a bitter edge to his voice that I'd heard many a time before, back when he used to be the Sorceress' Knight."I highly doubt that."  
  
"Actually.........I never thought too much of you, really. But, then you made me look like an idiot at Fisherman's Horizon, so that's why I took on this job. Plus, I think Squall would have chopped me up with his Lionheart if I had said no."  
  
"...........Tilmitt. Would you really let a schoolgirl grudge destroy the place that feels like home for so many of these kids?"  
  
"I didn't think of that until now. But you have my word---I'll stop trying to spy on you. I don't care what Squall and the others say---I'll stop."  
  
".........All right, Tilmitt."  
  
I shook my head hurriedly."Don't get me wrong. I'm not doing it for YOU. I still hate YOUR guts. But for now, I'll stay out of your way."  
  
A slight shake of his head."You forget, Tilmitt. I'm still keepin' an eye on you, no matter where you go. So, for starters, guess where you get to sleep tonight?"  
  
I felt the leftovers of today's lunch build up in my throat. I didn't know that a single statement could make one person so physically ill."Oh, no! You can't---no way---I mean........HYNE, THAT'S FOUL!"  
  
"You think I want it, Tilmitt? It's just a security issue, that's all."I had to admit, Seifer looked pretty sick himself."Although I'm tempted just to let it go, so I can still have my sanity before this is through............."  
  
No matter how much I argued, it didn't change a thing. Five minutes later still saw me standing outside of Seifer's door. With an almost callous familiarity, he unlocked the door and kicked it open."There. Home sweet home. I don't entertain much, so you can sleep on the floor."  
  
Once again, I tried to protest, but it was in vain. Arguing with Seifer was like arguing with a wall---or Zell. It was equally pointless.  
  
His room in itself wasn't bad. Kinda interesting, actually, although I'd never admit it. There was a door that I supposed went to the bathroom(Hyne, I HOPED it went to the bathroom), and a desk with a swivel chair(I planned to have some fun with that, you know). Off to the one side was actually something that looked like a fireman's pole---it went through a hole in the floor, and another hole through the ceiling. I wondered what it was for.  
  
"What---?"  
  
"MD Level,"he cut me off, pointing down."Bridge,"he added, pointing up.  
  
Oh. So Esthar Garden was mobile too, hunh? I filed that away for further memory, and hated myself for doing it. Even now, I was still spying on them!  
  
In the center of the room hung a hammock. It was so cool, it reminded me of something I wanted to have in my dorm when I got back to Balamb. Back to Balamb? I was going back to Balamb? They would LET me go?"Hey, why can't I just sleep there?"I asked, pointing to the suspension. Seifer snorted, and swung himself up into it with ease.  
  
"Because that's where I sleep, Tilmitt."I looked around, and indeed saw that there was no bed. I was just about to swing around and comment when a barrage of pillows and blankets suddenly being flung at me knocked me backwards to the floor, my feet flying up rather ungracefully in a series of different directions.  
  
A series of nasty retorts had been right on my lips, but when I saw that I didn't exactly have a captive audience(Seifer had rolled over, and I think he was already asleep), I just sighed resignedly and settled down as comfortably as I could on the floor.  
  
Pulling the blankets over my head and trying to shut out the nightmares surrounding me, I heard a faint clap from up above, and the lights went out(WoW! The Clapper! They're so much FUN!).  
  
As I drifted off to sleep, I had a wonderful dream of myself sitting leisurely up in a hammock while I pelted Seifer with cartons of chocolate milk down below.  
  
My dreams are pretty weird, aren't they?  
  
  
  
  
  
AN~So, what does everyone think? Like I said, this hasn't really required too much thought as of yet. I hope I'm doing a good job of combining the three things that matter most to me---humor, plot, and keeping the characters in character. Also, I have a proposition for everyone who's reading this. If you like my writing style, send me an E-mail(or even a review, if you want) if you want me to write you a story involving any sort of weird coupling(I'll decide weird and normal, okie?), and give me the details on it. Credit will go to you for the idea, but it'll just be under my penname, etc. Please read and review, and I'll try and post Ch. 4 as soon as I can! It's going to be called 'What The @#$%?!' Tee-hee! *like Selphie, cartwheels away* ~tigerofthewind~ 


	4. What the!

Hey! I Could Be A Messenger From Hyne, Ya Know!- A Misadventurous Romance Story  
  
Chapter Four-What The @#$%?!  
  
  
  
AN~Well, I'm sitting here now and listening to the ending to Chrono Trigger(the music, not the actual ending). I just wanted to say major THANX to the people who have reviewed so far. Now, we're drifting more into the romance part then the humor part. Embarrassing situations arise. This chapter is dedicated to NadiaZimbabwe, who put me on her 'Favorite Stories' list, and sabacat, who was nice enough to send me a personal E-mail telling me how much she liked my fic! Yay! I hope everyone likes it! ~tigerofthewind~  
  
  
  
  
  
It was official. I was rooming with an asshole. The evidence was clear from the very first day, when I had woken up the next morning with a rather painful crick in my neck and back.  
  
"Owie........."I muttered, and looked around. Somehow, I had rolled all the way under Seifer's desk and against his wall while I had slept. As it went, I don't think he could see me under there.  
  
"Tilmitt? Hey, Tilmitt! I've got detention duty in twenty minutes and you've got class! Get your ass out here, now!"  
  
Tee hee. It's so much fun to make his life miserable, isn't it?"BOO!!!"Screaming at the top my lungs and throwing the blankets over my head, I sprang out from underneath the desk and into his face.  
  
"Holy---!"He managed a half-articulated curse, before swinging at me with the Hyperion.  
  
Wait, the Hyperion?! Hey, that's---!  
  
I didn't get a chance to think much else. As the deadly blade bit down into my shoulder, he fired. I screamed and crumpled to the ground, one hand going to my shoulder.  
  
However, something had seemed wrong. The wound itself was fairly superficial, a painful gash, but not very deep. And the shots had missed me clearly. I realized that Seifer had pulled the hit at the last minute.  
  
Which meant that he knew it was me.  
  
"Teach you a lesson, eh, Tilmitt?"he said, and laughed, before waving cheerfully and heading out of the door. Straggling to my feet, I cast a Cura spell on myself and watched as the skin slowly stitched itself back up. Then, I changed into my instructor uniform and hurried to class.  
  
Could you believe that?! Not even a single word of apology for attacking me! Is that guy majorly rude or what?! Man, if only he'd been around when I was fully armed with nunchaku, then I'd---!!!  
  
As soon as I entered my classroom, there was a sudden burst of applause. Apparently, my students hadn't forgotten the events from yesterday, which made me glad. In the back stood, just as Seifer had informed me, seven new students, looking rather out of place. Sighing, I directed them to new seats, and set about teaching the lesson.  
  
It was a hard and grueling day. It was the student's first lesson in nunchaku combat, but I came to realize that many of the students in my class weren't even specialists. What was I supposed to do, train each of the students to use their own individual weapons?! I didn't have that kind of time!  
  
But it was all I could do. I wasn't about to deprive those kids of a proper lesson just because their dingus commander didn't hire a variety of specialists, instead of just one. So, I had to go back to the rudiments of my own training, which involved a little bit of martial arts, and some accuracy tests with projectile weapons and shurikens(a lot like Fujin's Zan, which several students had brought with them).  
  
Luckily, about halfway through the lesson, Raijin came in and gave me a hand. Truthfully, I think he was sent by Seifer to keep me out of trouble, but I was so grateful for the help, that I didn't mind. Since Raijin's weapon was a quarter-staff, I assigned him the task of teaching the students the basics of close-range combat(basically, teaching the ones with short range weapons), while I tutored the rest of them on accuracy(those with long range weapons).  
  
However, one student gave me a bit of a problem. Her name was Vienna, just like the mountains north of Trabia(when you go through the Trabia Canyon, you end up there). She had both a long and short range weapon---a gunblade. Knowing no other gunblade specialists besides Squall and Seifer(none of whom I could, nor wanted to, ask for assistance), I gave her time to catch up on the GF report that was due yesterday, since she had just transferred into my class this morning.  
  
Classes dragged on, as usual. Raijin stayed and helped me out all day, until the last class. Even if he had been forced to do it, he was still pretty nice about the whole thing, so I thanked him politely as he went out the door. The last class in itself was pretty uneventful, it was just the younger students, who I read stories to all day, anyway.  
  
I wondered why anyone would put the storytime class at the end of the day, because soon, all the children were asleep. I didn't know what to do. It was the first time the junior classmen had ever fallen asleep in my class before.  
  
"Oh, Hyne,"came a voice suddenly from the doorway."The exploding Cactuar has now been replaced with an exploding Ruby Dragon."  
  
"Can I help you, sir?"I asked, scrambling to my feet and unsuccessfully trying to stifle a yawn as I saluted Seifer."I've just finished class, and-- -"  
  
"I know, Tilmitt. I stopped by to make sure you didn't go........wandering off again."His eyes themselves posed a threat. They were green, but a paler green than my own. It was frightening. We sat down together, staring at our sleeping futures.  
  
"Well, I haven't,"I retorted, lowering my voice to a malicious hiss so as not to wake the children."Now, please leave. You're going to make them all wake up."  
  
"They'll be scared enough by waking up to YOUR face, Tilmitt,"he snickered."Actually, you seem to have forgotten our deal."  
  
"Stalking's illegal on all four continents,"I said idly, packing up the books I had finished reading. Some of them were actually pretty cute, involving outcast PuPus, and an ugly MiniMog that grew up to be a beautiful Moogle.  
  
"I'm not STALKING you. Just makin' sure you stay outta trouble."To my ultimate surprise, his expression grew pensive as he turned his gaze down to the kids sleeping by my feet."I've been thinking about what you said, messenger girl. About these kids joining the army. I've decided to make it optional, instead of mandatory. And, corporal punishment is going to be strictly banned from the grounds."  
  
Then, to my ever-growing surprise, he laughed."Fujin's going to be disappointed."  
  
I frowned."Why, sir?"I asked softly."Aren't you afraid that these kids are going to grow up 'soft'?"  
  
He shook his head."No.......I'm not."He stood up so suddenly that he nearly kicked one of the sleeping children in the head."I'm afraid that if I would've kept on the way I did, that these kids would have grown up to be just like me."  
  
He started for the doorway, but something in the way he said his words made me jump out in front of him."Sir? Are you all right, sir?"  
  
"What?"He shook his head furiously, and the fire was burning back again in his eyes."Butt out, Tilmitt! Jeez!"  
  
I didn't want to admit it, but I was relieved. For a moment there, I thought maybe he was going to go commit suicide, or shoot up the whole Garden, or something like those horror stories I had seen on TV. And I don't think I could live with that, knowing that I'd been the last one to see him before then, and hadn't done anything. In a way, though, I kinda wanted to see him blow something(or himself, whichever the case may have been) up."S-Sorry, sir."  
  
He paused at the doorway."8 o'clock at the front gate. By the way. Dress nice."  
  
And walked away, leaving me standing there flabbergasted. As soon as he departed, there was a muffled squeak from the direction he had came from. I turned and saw Vienna standing at the doorway, her hands pressed so tightly over her mouth that her face had turned slightly blue from lack of breath.  
  
"You and Commander Almasy are DATING?"she breathed, her eyes going wide.  
  
"No!"I shouted, a little louder than I intended to."I'm not sure WHAT he wants me for, Vienna. Maybe it's to talk about your training,"I added pointedly. It did the trick; the little eavesdropper suddenly found her shoes to be extremely interesting.  
  
"I know that my training with a gublade is going to make things hard on you, Instructor,"she admitted."But I won't change my weapon. It was my mother's. I'm an orphan, you see."  
  
(Man, that sucks), I thought."It's okay, Vienna. I just didn't want you to have the wrong idea."I shuddered. "I can't stand the man."  
  
She giggled, a little girl's unaffected giggle. I remembered back at Balamb, when I used to laugh in such a way. Had it really only been a month ago? Suddenly, I felt old."That's okay, Instructor. I just stopped by to give you my report. I chose......um, I chose Griever."  
  
Griever? Now, that was interesting. A lot better than Shiva, which seemed to be the year's favorite."Thanks, Vienna. I'll try and get it graded tonight, so you'll be caught up tomorrow."  
  
"Okay. Bye!"  
  
"Bye."We exchanged farwells and waves, and I went to wake up the junior classmen so someone could take them back to their dorms(no one in Esthar Garden commuted, since we were officially in the middle of nowhere). I ended up getting two pudding cups and five graham crackers thrown at me before some seniors led the junior classmen back to their dorms.  
  
Oh, great. Not only was I covered with dessert, but I was also supposed to meet my Commander(whom I can't stand, by the way) at the gate in two hours, and manage to look decent all at the same time.  
  
Could this day get any worse?  
  
  
  
**************************************************************************** *****  
  
  
  
It could get worse. I had nothing to wear. This thought crossed my mind as I was heading back to my room. Basically, I'd counted on Esthar Garden to supply me with a uniform and an instructor's outfit. Which they had done, granted, but I hadn't counted on going to any formal things. So what was I supposed to do?  
  
"Instructor!!!"Oh, thank Hyne. It was Mira. Maybe I could borrow something from her."Hey! I heard Commander Almasy just stopped by your room! You're not getting fired for throwing a dairy-based food product at him, are you?"  
  
THAT one made me laugh, even if it was a little weary."No, Mira. Actually........do you have anything I could borrow? You know, a dress or something? I'm heading off for tonight, you know, have some fun."  
  
"Of course!"Hyne bless Mira."Besides, you definitely need some time off, Instructor T.! Let me guess, that's what Commander Almasy wanted, right--- to give you some time off?"  
  
"Right."We started heading towards her dorm. It wasn't a TOTAL lie, after all. Personally, I was dreading the whole thing. A public outing WOULD be the perfect place to get revenge, though. Tee hee!  
  
Eventually, Mira and I decided on this navy blue dress that was the same color as my old Balamb Garden uniform. The dress itself was in two pieces, with a sarong wraparound skirt and a matching blue tank top. Thankfully, since I had no idea where I was going, there was a button-down dress shirt that went over the tank top. Honestly, I liked it. It had a nice islandish touch to it. A pair of silver strappy sandals, a silver dress watch, and a pair of silver earrings with sapphires in the center of them completed the look.  
  
Where do girls get all those matching outfits, anyway? Do they just buy them like that, or have all the stuff conveniently laying around? Of course, this was coming from the girl who wore the same yellow sundress and brown boots day in and day out.  
  
I just had enough time to paint my nails and toenails the same shade of blue before I was running down the halls to the front gate, barely thinking to grab a purse from Mira on the way out. No matter how cool I looked(which was very cool, if I do say so myself), I still couldn't help but dread tonight. What did he want me for, anyway? I hoped that I'd find some answers, and soon.  
  
As I neared the front gate(I was running a few minutes late, mind you), I saw Seifer standing under the light of some random street lamp, pacing back and forth irritably. And, he was wearing a suit.  
  
Yes, you heard correctly. It wasn't the buildup of wax in your ears, nor your crappy hearing aids that made my words sound distorted---I did say that he was wearing a SUIT. Now, this sight in itself almost made me fall over, but I managed to hold my ground. It was just---I mean---Hyne, you know what I mean. Anything outside of his usual covert ops trench coat was a shock.  
  
Okay, so the suit in itself DID have a long coat, like a trench coat. No, wait............ As I neared him, I could see that it wasn't a suit in itself, but merely a black dress shirt and black slacks, with the coat over it. Well, damn. But hey, anything was a welcome change, right?  
  
At the clicking of my heels on the pavement, he turned to face me, and his first look was that of immediate disgust."You call THAT dressed up?"  
  
Hey! That wasn't fair! And it was mean!"Well, if you had told me where we were going, then maybe I could have dressed more accordingly, hunh?"I smiled. I had him there. And, while he was still trying to compose himself, I snapped a picture.  
  
This idea had come when I had spied a disposable camera laying on Mira's desk. I asked her if I could borrow it. (And), I thought now,(it was a good thing I did. Stuff like this is priceless!)  
  
"Tilmitt!"  
  
"Tee hee. Okay, we can go. Erm.....where're we going?"I was surprised that I had enough energy to sound so friggin' cheerful. I'd simply done too much, this past month. I guess I was just running myself until I dropped. Not enough eating, not enough sleeping. I needed a vacation, honestly, but I was already treading thin ice as it was with the Commander of Esthar Garden(or, as I know him, the Beast, and the Esthar Asshole).  
  
"............Executive dinner in Esthar."Reeeeeeeally? Now, THAT was interesting. Maybe I could dig some stuff up, there........ No! I said I'd stop doing that, and I really mean to! All those nice kids like Mira and Vienna wouldn't have anywhere to go if I were to sack the place!  
  
"But, why am I going? I'm not on the executive board."  
  
Was it just me, or did he suddenly avert his eyes?".............Keep you out of the computers while I'm gone."  
  
"Oh."So THAT was why."But what's the dinner for? Any real reason?"  
  
He turned to stare at me levelly."Hasn't anyone told you that you talk too much, Tilmitt?"  
  
"Every day,"I admitted, then shrugged."I just don't let it get to me."  
  
"Hmm.........."Well, I was getting used to the thoughtful look, now, so it wasn't as bizarre."Well, I might as well tell ya, so you know not to make an ass outta me tonight. It's a meeting to try and win over possible sponsors for Garden."  
  
"Garden needs sponsors? I mean, it needs MORE sponsors?"  
  
"..........Yeah. That's why the instructors quit last week---not enough pay."We boarded the light rail that would take us from Garden to Esthar."Why do you stay on, Tilmitt? Looks like you hate it here."  
  
"Well, I like the kids. They're nicer to me than the ones back home. The students back home like to pull jokes on me."  
  
"Like gum in the hair?"  
  
"Or down a sundress,"I said pointedly, and he laughed. I really wanted to hit him. I don't think Flo would ever look at me the same way again."It's not the point, though. The point is, I like it better here."  
  
"........Really. Or is it just because of your duty as a SeeD?"  
  
"I TOLD you. I was gonna stop spying on you, and I did."  
  
".........I'll be the judge of that,"he said curtly, and we rode the rest of the light rail in silence.  
  
Did I mention how much Esthar creeps me out? Everything's blue---the tunnels that connect to different parts of the city, the streets, the cars(I wouldn't be surprised if I saw some blue people wandering around, to tell the truth). Plus, it's not crowded and noisy and fun, like Balamb or Deling. All the people wandering around in the streets are silent, and mostly just sit and read books.  
  
"We're meeting at the Presidential Residence,"Seifer told me, walking by without a backward glance. I made a dorky face at his retreating back. Since Hyne seemed to have abandoned me to my cruel, cruel fate, I had no choice but to follow him.  
  
Laguna's house was actually pretty cool. I craned my neck as soon as we entered, trying to see if I could find the oh-so-dreamy Sir himself, but the people were too tall and I........well, I was not. So, I asked the Beast."Where's Laguna?"  
  
"President Loire?"He didn't seem like he cared."Around here, somewhere. He's one of the ones I'm trying to get to fund us."  
  
That set me to thinking. Weren't Gardens unallowed to have government figures as private sponsors for their expenses? Well, I guessed not. I was pretty sure that Galbadia Garden had some sort of funding from General Caraway, even if it wasn't a lot. I dunno, maybe I just didn't want the Esthar government involved.  
  
"Sir Seifer!"beamed some old and pompous dude, coming up behind us and vigorously shaking Seifer's hand."So good of you to come! And who is this lovely little lady?"He beamed at me, too. However, I didn't LIKE the way he beamed at me.  
  
"This's Ti---Selphie, an instructor at Garden. You've heard of Gardens, I'm sure."It was funny, I thought, to watch Seifer try and put that jaunty, winning tone into his voice. I concentrated instead on a spot on the wallpaper, knowing that I would break down into hysterics otherwise.  
  
Still, I had noticed something. Instead of calling me 'Tilmitt' or 'messenger girl'............  
  
............Seifer had called me Selphie.  
  
That made me want to giggle, too. So, to add to the spot on the wallpaper, I focused on the weird smell that seemed to be coming from all directions. Maybe, if I met Sir Laguna(which I hoped I did, by the way), I could kindly but firmly point out to him that plug-in air fresheners were his friend.  
  
I discovered that the odd smell was the steaming, twisted gray lump of Blobra goo that someone had the nerve to call dinner. Apparently, everything was going as planned, into Sir Laguna went into the kitchens to grab a beer and slipped on a spot on the floor, slamming into the head cook. The head cook in turn flew into the stove, sending a saucepan full of sauteed onions up into the air. The pan fell onto an outstretched butcher knife, which then proceeded to fall onto the youngest kitchen boy's foot. They had to rush him to the hospital.  
  
While all that was going on, the Malboro au jus(which I hated anyway, ew!) sizzled up in the oven and the oven exploded. Well, damn.  
  
I poked at whatever was left of the poor creature(I had to pity it, even though the last one I had met gave me nothing but living hell) with my fork, and wrinkled my nose."Are we supposed to eat it?"I whispered to Seifer, who was sitting on my left and looking at the foul lump of nothing better than offal with the same look of disgust on his face.  
  
".......I dunno. Just don't think about it."  
  
The chatter proved to be more interested than the food; although, like the food, I felt like vomiting after enduring it for a period of time. To get my mind off of the foul smell, I concentrated on what everyone else was saying.  
  
"So, Sir Seifer!"shouted another old man jovially, putting down his fork(ew! he ate it!) and turning to face us."You MUST tell us how you met your precious little lady!"  
  
'Precious little lady'?! I couldn't help it. I started to choke. Sir Laguna(who'd been sitting on my other side, yay!) had to whack me on the back a couple of times. Seifer dropped his knife with a loud clattering noise.  
  
"Me an' Tilmitt?!"he yelled, his eyes going big. Later on, I would wish that I had taken a picture of his face."Dating?! No way! I think you guys misunderstand---she's one of my instructors. That's all."The color seemed to go back into his face, and he went back to eating(or at least pretending to eat). The man(I recognized him to be the deputy mayor of Esthar, Something Howe) went on, uncharigned.  
  
"Well, where did you meet her?"I was surprised to see Seifer's face beginning to turn the same shade of flaming red as Phoenix.  
  
"...........Horizon Bridge. Wanted to be an instructor."  
  
"Really? What does she teach?"  
  
"............Bunch of things. Mainly basic knowledge and combat."  
  
"She sounds very talented. Quite attractive, too."  
  
"................................Mfft."The last response was more like a grunt than anything. I was pleased---at least he didn't cater himself to these snotty little weiner guys when it came to the subject of me---and disgusted, all at the same time. Ew! I think that Howe guy was eye-popping me!  
  
(Man!)I thought, trying to find something to focus on instead of Howe and the nasty food. Instead, I concentrated on the LAST meal I had eaten, which was somewhat better.  
  
Wait, what was it? Oh, yeah...........oops. It looks like the last thing'd I'd eaten had been when Seifer took me out to lunch, and I then proceeded to hurl it upon him.  
  
It was that long ago? And when did I eat before that? Maybe breakfast that day before........? Or dinner two days before that? Jeez, it HAD been a long time since I'd eaten more than one meal a day. Or slept for more than five hours at a time.............. With my teaching schedule, I just didn't have any more time than that. With a start, I realized just how grueling being an instructor for Esthar WAS.  
  
"Care for a glass of wine, dear?"Howe asked me, looking more than a little tipsy himself. I noticed that there were no other girls in the room, and that nearly every single one of the men was leering at me in one way, shape, or form(minus Sir Laguna, of course, who just looked embarrassed). And then there was poor Seifer, trying to get everyone off of the topic of me, and back to the topic of Garden(which was something that required actual THINKING).  
  
"Actually, I was hoping to have a word with you all,"I said brightly, despite my utter revulsion and weariness. Laguna stopped chewing idly on his napkin, and Seifer lifted his head from where it had been laying on the table."It's about Garden. I know that a lot of people think that Garden's are just a waste of time and money, because there aren't any new threats of sorceresses or wars out there, but they're really not. It's not only a home for outcast children, it's also a place where the instructors can learn and grow, too."  
  
I went on."I should know. Because of Garden, Esthar may be viewed as less of a threat from other countries, since the Garden will provide a feeling of familiarity, and also a space of neutral territory."  
  
"What if we don't WANT to be viewed as less of a threat?"a member of the executive board(Sanduff, I remembered) snarled."We got power over other countries!"  
  
"Exactly,"I said, quickly changing my tactics."Esthar Garden may be viewed as less of a threat, or as more of a threat. It depends on how intimidating we look. With our second-rate technology, inadequate staff, and lack of proper magic and GF's, we're a laughingstock. Extra funding,"I pressed, looking around at them all meaningfully,"could make the difference between an enpowerment and an embarrassment."  
  
I stopped and tried to look around at them with the utmost cool and calm, but underneath of the table, I was shaking slightly, and my hands were nervously shredding my napkin to pieces. Suddenly, a hand came from out of nowhere and pulled them apart, taking ahold of my right one.  
  
I turned sharply and looked at Seifer, but he was staring at the staff hard enough to pierce holes through them and didn't seem to be occupied by anything else. So that meant......... Slowly, I turned my head to Sir Laguna. The blood flowed to my cheeks as he gave a cheeky wink, turned a bit red himself and looked away, then squeezed my hand slightly.  
  
I knew I must have looked positively doe-eyed at the moment, but I didn't care! Sir Laguna, acting so cute and huggable, to ME! Hyne, I knew how different apart we were in age(he had just turned 44, and I was 17, even though he didn't look it), but it didn't mean that I wasn't flattered and grateful, nonetheless. I beamed a smile up at him, and for once in the passage of tonight, meant it.  
  
"Well said, Miss Selphie,"admitted Sandruff, and most of the executive board echoed his praise. A few weren't convinced, but enough were to the point that I didn't think funding was going to be any problem from here on in."I know that I shall contribute my personal funds to the maintenence of your Garden."  
  
"As will I,"agreed Howe.  
  
"Oh, and don't forget me,"to my greatest surprise and delight, added Sir Laguna."If Esthar's gonna keep it's defenses up, we definitely need a Garden."He let go of my hand, got to his feet, bowed to me, and then departed."This little lady's convinced me."  
  
Damn. So he thought of me as just a 'little lady'. Well, I'd show him, one of these days! Something a LOT worse than just a stupid Malboro au jus!  
  
Notice how no one can really get away with anything without me thinking of revenge. Come to think of it, I still hadn't thought of anything really nasty to do to get back at Seifer. I should've just kept silent about Garden, but..........I thought of Vienna, and couldn't do it.  
  
"I propose a toast and a dance to Miss Selphie!"someone in the back practically roared(although no one, I repeat, NO ONE, could roar like the Beast), and similar roars echoed his proposition."Cheers!"  
  
Wine glasses all clinked together(because of the drunken people's lack of coordination, I heard a few of them break, with simultaneous swears all around). And music for a slow song struck up.  
  
"Tilmitt. Dance."I looked at Seifer like he'd suddenly sprouted an extraneous evil head.  
  
"S-Sir?! I'm really tired, sir, and---"It was no lie. The sandals had been a bad motion on Mira's part. Note to self:Insert fungi spores from science lab into Mira's shoes. See? Told you. I like revenge.  
  
"Direct order from your superior. Dance."  
  
I looked around and saw that everyone was staring at us expectantly. Aha.......so that was it. I wondered if I should do anything evil to make him look like an ass out on the floor, then found out that I was too tired to plan anything.  
  
I'd been wondering when he was going to use his 'direct-order-from- superior-trick' against me.  
  
Trying not to sigh heavily aloud, I hauled myself to my feet and allowed myself to be led out to the middle of the throng of guests. At least the tune was a slow one(it was horribly romantic, too, but because that meant less pressure on my feet, I could forgive that---for now), so I didn't really have to think about the correct dancing moves.  
  
Ah, it sure felt nice. If I could look aside from the PERSON I was dancing with, the dance itself wasn't bad. We just swayed back and forth for awhile, while I rested my head heavily on his shoulder(the rest of my body, however, was spaced with a good whole foot of room between us). Soon enough, I felt myself cloying to the will of sleep. I had just begun to drift off, when Seifer bent down(A LOT, because I was so short and he was so tall), and whispered in my ear:  
  
"Tilmitt. Good work."I tried to salute(it was second-nature to me, by now), but my arms were pinned at my side. So, I just nodded.  
  
"Thank you, sir,"I mumbled into his shoulder, my legs feeling like jelly beneath me.  
  
"However, not only did you manage to steal the attention away from ME, which suggests that I hold no authority over my inferiors whatsoever, you also ignored my orders for you to dress nicely, and instead wore something that I think I saw a college student modeling at the beach. I think someone else could have done better in your stead."  
  
Well, Hyne! My eyes snapped open wide at that, and I envisioned Seifer disintegrating, disintegrating, disintegrating; under the full-fledged power of a Meltdown spell. As it was, I contented myself with digging into his feet with one of my sandaled heels(no more fungi in Mira's shoes, note!), hearing his barely stifled curse of pain and astonishment, and stalking away.  
  
Outside of President Loire's house, and down the steps that led to the street. I was almost to the bottom, when I tripped and fell down the rest of the steps, banging myself up something good on the hard pavement. As soon as I hit bottom, though, I couldn't move. I didn't even have the strength to pull myself into a sitting position; I was too tired. It was the weirdest feeling I'd ever had in my entire life, it was like my whole body was shutting down. It scared me, but I was too tired to do anything about it.  
  
Suddenly, I heard a voice from very far up above me."Holy Hyne, Tilmitt! Hey, she's---!"  
  
The thudding of footsteps on pavement, and a slight skidding noise as someone halted to a stop right near my face."Tilmitt! Hey, Tilmitt! Come on! Snap outta it! Man, you can't die on me! Who the hell else am I gonna find to cope with the stupidity of the exec. board?!"  
  
Aha......so that was it. But there was a raw edge of panic in Seifer's voice, something I had never heard there before. More footsteps, and more voices.  
  
"Sir Seifer, what happened?"  
  
"Did the girl fall?"  
  
"Should someone get a doctor?"  
  
Seifer's voice again."No.........wait."A strangled noise of disbelief."Oh, Hyne! I can't believe it! She's sleeping! The little messenger girl is SLEEPING!"  
  
Collective noises of disbelief. Ah, so I was sleeping, was I? Finally.........the first time in a long time. Then, there was a laugh.  
  
"Ha ha ha.......and I thought MY job was taxing."Sir Laguna! At his voice, I tried to wake myself. But it was really weird. It was like......my mind was just a spectator, and all my body could do was lie there.  
  
"Ah, well............if we had more sponsors, we'd have enough money to hire more instructors, and she wouldn't have to trip and fall down a flight of steps before dropping off to sleep,"I heard Seifer say pointedly. Shuffling of feet on the pavement, and I just picture the looks of embarrassment on the men's faces.  
  
"Well,"said Howe finally."I suppose we had better go back in and get something to drink. Sir Seifer, would you like to wake the young lady up and accompany us?"  
  
No, no, NO! He WOULDN'T!  
  
He didn't."................No. I think I'll take her back to Garden and let her go to bed."  
  
"Hmmmm, I doubt that,"laughed Sanduff. I didn't get it. What was so funny? Maybe it was an inside joke, or a guy's joke, or something.  
  
"Hey---!"Something told me that Seifer bit back a retort just in time. After all, we did have to do some major ass-kissing to get where we were now, and I don't think he wanted to lose it."No, it's not what you think. I've got classes to plan in the morning, anyway. Due to the teacher shortage, I've had to fill in for a few shifts."Again, that pointed tone."I thank you gentleman kindly, and look forward to sharing Esthar Garden's sponsorship with you."  
  
Funny, how he could be polite to people he didn't know that well, but completely rude to everyone who knew the most about him. Then again, most of the people he knew(including me, by the way) didn't really have a gil to their name.  
  
I heard the swishing noise of clothing, then something both soft and hard slide under my shoulderblades as I felt myself being lifted off of the ground. Being jounced and jostled along, we headed off(secretly, I wished it was Sir Laguna who was carrying me, instead of Seifer).  
  
"Two tickets for the light rail to Esthar Garden."  
  
"Oh, Sir Seifer!"The ticketseller sounded undeniably female."What happened to your cute friend?"  
  
"She's sleeping, Aeiz. Besides, she doesn't swing that way, anyway. Don't worry, I'll find you someone who does."  
  
What?! This chick was a lesbian?! I wanted to wake up and talk to her, but again, I couldn't. I'd never seen a lesbian before in my lifetime. I mean, I'd heard Zell muttering every now and then about how one of his ex- girlfriends had suddenly decided to break up with him and become one, but..........  
  
"Well, that's too bad. She's a beaut."A brief silence."Here's your tickets, Sir."  
  
".........Thanks."More jouncing and jostling. I heard the electronic beep of the light rail doors opening. Two steps more of jouncing and jostling, then we sat down. I think I was stretched out across him.  
  
There was silence for some time, until a long-suffering sigh uttered in a strong baritone voice caused me to open my eyes.  
  
Open my eyes?! NO!!! I made a small groan, trying to fight to stay asleep, but it just didn't work. My eyes fluttered open and fixed on Seifer, who was staring blankly at one of the tram poles from beneath lowered lashes, his peridot-colored eyes dull. At the weird noise that I had made, however, he looked down at me.  
  
"..........Go back to sleep, Tilmitt. There's still another fifteen minutes before the light rail reaches Garden."  
  
"That's okay."I sat up and untangled myself from his lap(blush!) before settling into the seat next to him. I laughed."Tee hee! I bet it was pretty funny, to see me sprawled out on the street in this ungainly heap, hunh? I just don't know what came over me."  
  
After a few hours of sleep, my cheerfulness had returned. Seifer closed his eyes wearily. It was like seeing a light in a window being snuffed out."..............Gave me a shock."  
  
"Oh, well, sorry. I guess I was just tired."  
  
"........Too much work?"  
  
Well, there was no point in lying."Yeah. But, because of all those sponsors we got, I won't have to worry about that, will I?"  
  
".....The kids still like you. I can't transfer them out of your class."  
  
"He-ey! After I just saved your ass, you still can't give me a break?! Talk about rude! Butthead!"  
  
Jeez, why couldn't he give me a break?! I TRIED being friendly, and it just didn't work! Well, to hell with it all! He could just STAY an asshole, for all I cared! Come tomorrow, I was heading back to Balamb!  
  
"............No, I still can't give you a break. It's just not the way I am. Being nice to everyone expends too much energy---you should know."His eyes opened again, only to be fixed right on me. I hated it when he did that, just because his eyes glowed with that creepy fire that made me feel like his stare would burn a hole right through me(which I bet he would find to be a rather useful talent, like Quisty's Laser Eye, whenever someone was pissing him off).  
  
"Well, you could at least try. I hate you. Your students are scared of you. And everyone else just thinks you're weird."  
  
"....................."  
  
Once again, I was surprised to see that he had nothing to say. So, I just ignored him, and dropped my head back onto the compartment seat and soon fell asleep again.  
  
I was awakened by the sensation of being lifted again. This time, I was fully awake, and just chose to pretend that I was asleep. Pretending to be awake(or actually being awake, rather) required too much energy. Maybe it was like what Seifer had said. Sometimes, I did have to work really hard to be cheerful to people, especially when I was feeling down. Maybe he just felt down all the time, and so it didn't really work out.  
  
Oh, whatever! I really didn't care! I was trapped in the crappiest position of a lifetime! I was sent here as a spy, only to find out that some kids hit a soft spot with me, and now I can't do it! Not only that, but I'm also HELPING the enemy by negotiating favorable conditions for them with the Esthar government! Oh, Hyne! How had I gotten myself into this mess?!  
  
The sound of a door opening. I was shocked to feel myself not being laid on a cold, hard, floor, but instead in a soft, warm, bed! I tried to wake up to see what the hell was going on. But the bed was just such a welcome relief after a floor, then pavement, then the seat of a light rail, and I soon found myself to be asleep(for the third time that day).  
  
I woke up the next morning to discover that I was in my old dorm room, and that Seifer was sleeping in the far left corner, near the door. With his back against the wall, his head bowed between his legs, and the Hyperion slung over one shoulder, he looked vaguely like Irvine did whenever he sat down and tried to gather his courage before doing a big asassination job. With a pang, I realized how much I missed Balamb, and all my friends. My threat to leave and go back there still rung in my head, too. Would I really do it?  
  
............No. I don't think I'd do it. I had Mira, and Vienna, and all the other kids(even the junior classmen, even if they did like to decorate me like dessert). I think, truthfully, I LIKED being an instructor, how matter how exhausting it was.  
  
I sighed, and the noise, no matter how slight it was(I think he'd be the type to be a really light sleeper, anyway) caused Seifer to jerk his head up and arise from his stupor, shaking his head in a disgruntled sort of way."Hiya,"I said, smiling at him, taking joy in knowing that his back had to hurt like holy Hyne for sleeping against a wall."Thanks for bringing me here. I guess you still couldn't trust me enough to leave me on my own, hunh?"  
  
"................I don't trust anyone."  
  
I could believe that. The Beast went on."..........I've got class in a few minutes, anyway. Meet me in my office during your lunch hour---there's a subject I want to broach with you."He stood, stretched, and grabbed his coat before heading out the door. I noticed that he was still wearing the black dress clothes from last night. I was still in my sarong and tank top.  
  
Later on, when I would try to think of a way to describe the events that had happened last night, and this morning, I could only come up with one thought:  
  
What the @#$%?!  
  
  
  
  
  
AN~Well, what does everyone think? LoL! As you can clearly see, this chapter was a little more fluff(well, not really FLUFF, but you know what I mean), and less humor. Basically, the breaking point of each other's barriers. BTW, the two of them still hate each other(check out some of the paragraphs from the ending), but it's kinda wearing thin. Ch. 5 is coming out, soon---'Ew! That's Gross!' Until then, you know how much I like reviews! Oh, don't yell about the little LagunaXSelphie thingie I popped in the middle, there. As you can clearly see from the summary, they don't get together.*wink* It's just to remind everyone of the little puppy adoration she has of him, back from the SSW(Second Sorceress War). Well, until next time, please review! I really hope everyone will keep reading this! ~tigerofthewind~ 


	5. Ew! That's Gross!

Hey! I Could Be A Messenger From Hyne, Ya Know!- A Misadventurous Romance Story  
  
Chapter Five-Ew! That's Gross!  
  
  
  
AN~Well, I'm happy to know that everyone but one reviewer(firestarter) has reviewed this little insignificant thing called a ficcy to let me know how much they enjoyed it. Once again(as per my custom), I'd like to shout a big THANX to all my reviewers! *shouts out big THANX* This chapter is dedicated to Aika-Naoki121, Jackie Almasy(go read her stuff, NOW!) and Dog Face(go read some more of stuff, too! NOW!), another trio of my constant reviewers(if you review me more than twice, chances are, I'll dedicate a chapter to you). Well, I'm just sitting back and relaxing to my Pearl Jam CD('Betterman' is the song I'm listening to). Also, I'd really like it if you sent me an E-mail telling me things you think would make this ficcy better, or even just to tell me you liked it(I love E-mails, LoL). Well, enjoy!*smiles* ~tigerofthewind~  
  
  
  
  
  
Have you ever seen something so disturbing that it makes you want to vomit, laugh, cry, and knock yourself unconcious with a hopefully-placed- nearby hard object all at once? That was what I saw today when I walked into Seifer's office.  
  
The morning shift had come and gone without too much event, and it was during my lunch hour when I was thoughtfully sipping a carton of chocolate milk that I remembered I was supposed to meet the Beast up in his office regarding some unknown subject. I hoped that Balamb hadn't somehow found out some info they weren't supposed to, because then he would blame it on me, and I didn't really have the time or the patience to deal with that right now. 'Peace! Love! And Happiness!' was quickly fading into nothing but a memory.  
  
I was still tired from my lack of sleep the past few days, so I was surprised that I remembered it at all. Between junctioning tutorials(Hyne, those were so boring!) and the upcoming written exam, my head felt ready to explode. I suppose it would have been a cool sight to see, my head exploding, but since that would invoke my clear and utter demise, I fervently prayed to Hyne that it didn't happen.  
  
My point is, I just didn't have time or patience left to expend. Not to mention the fact that I'd been feeling strangely all day, a mixture of fatigue and nausea. I hoped I wasn't coming down with something, like a fever or something weird. Although how I would, since it was the middle of summer, was beyond me.  
  
I inserted my keycard into the elevator(again, the ID system like Galbadia) and hit the button for the third floor. The third floor was nothing at all like Balamb's. In Balamb, there was just Headmaster Cid's office, and later, the bridge. But in here, there was a bridge(and the fireman's pole that went down into Seifer's room, tee hee), a ton of receptionist desks, several cubicles with people hard at work in them, Headmaster Chanton's office, and Seifer's office.  
  
Gathering my courage, I grasped the ornately-designed handle of the door and turned, pushing the heavy mahogany open.  
  
As soon as I entered, Seifer and the petite little blonde receptionist whom he'd been busy making out with both looked up at me, his hand still up her shirt and her hand still stuffed down his pants. The girl turned the most violent shade of red I'd ever seen. Seifer didn't even have the decency to even look embarrassed.  
  
I wanted to keel over laughing, and just plain keel over all at once. I chose instead to do the latter, making this harsh gagging noise and dropping to my knees, before falling over on my side.  
  
"Oh, no! Hey, are you---?"The receptionist started towards me, but Seifer cut her off.  
  
"Teia. Back to work."  
  
"But sir---"  
  
"Back. To. Work."  
  
Knowing no other option, the girl cast one last look at me before fleeing, still trying to straighten her skirt and her hair. I think she thought that somehow he'd managed to kill me(you know, if looks could kill?). I closed my eyes, wishing the sight of the two of them ramming their tongues down each other's throats away.  
  
"Tilmitt, you all right?"Instead, I concentrated on the pretty flower field that went along with my The End limit break.  
  
"............Yes, sir."Okay, it was working. I was able to get to my feet again, shaking my head dizzily."You wanted to see me, sir? Ordinarily, I would have never DREAMED of interrupting..........."  
  
I shut up for two reasons. Number one, Seifer looked ready to kill, which was never a good thing. Number two, I felt the urge to vomit arise in me again.".............Yeah. It's about one of your students."  
  
"Oh?"He motioned for me to have a seat, and I did so, gratefully."Which one?"  
  
"Student No. 1014, Vienna Loire."  
  
"Vienna LOIRE?!"I cried, my eyes bulging out in shock. The death look on Seifer's face was quickly replaced by one of amusement."She's Sir Laguna's DAUGHTER?!"  
  
"Of course. President Loire enrolled her not long before you arrived, messenger girl."  
  
"But........but..........she SAID she was an orphan!"What was going on?! Who was lying here, Vienna or Seifer?! Okay, I was willing to put my money on the fact that Vienna was telling the truth, as of now.  
  
"She would. She doesn't like people knowing who her father is. That's why she enrolled under a different name---Vienna Casanova."  
  
"Oh..........."I guess she didn't want people to treat her different just because her father was the president of Esthar. I think that if I was faced with the same thing, I'd do exactly what she did, too. I smiled and tried to inject some cheerfulness into my voice."Okay. What about her?"  
  
"............Her training. Raijin told me you excluded her the other day."  
  
"Erm, I kinda had to. Her weapon's a---"  
  
"Gunblade, I know,"he finished, glowering at a spot on his desk, if it was possible to glower at something thoughtfully."I called her up to my office not long ago, to get her to tell me more about it, and any other training President Loire might have set her up for. I believe she told you that the blade was her mother's, correct?"He looked up at me but went on before I had the chance to say anything."It was actually Loire's. Used it a long time ago, back during his basic training. Named Nemeris, after the mythical city of the underworld."  
  
He leaned back in his chair and put his feet up on the desk."Apparently, she hasn't had any training in close-range combat at all. A few archery lessons, but a gunblade is a totally different story---I should know."He picked up the Hyperion and turned it around at all angles, to the light hit it. Since it was usually too busy slicing me up into dinner-sized pieces, I never really got to appreciate how fine a weapon it was.  
  
"Sir, what do you propose I do about this? You know I can't instruct her-- -I'm having a diffucult time as it is with the other students and their fairly simple weapons. Something as complicated as a gunblade.........."  
  
He nodded, and replaced the Hyperion at it's spot leaning up against the wall."I know, Tilmitt. You won't be teaching half of those students any more, anyway. Because of the newest funds we received not long ago, I hired some new instructors---shuriken specialists, martial artists---that sort of deal. Only the students with nunchaku will be left to your devices."  
  
I breathed a sigh of relief. Finally, a load was off of my shoulders."Other classes?"  
  
"Basic studies and the junior classmen still stand. You'll have two free periods a day for lesson planning, lunch, what have you."  
  
"Sir, what about Vienna? You came to talk to me about her?"  
  
He snapped his fingers together, and the expression on his face was one of the lights just coming on upstairs."Oh, yeah! There's seven periods a day, you know that. Two frees, two basic studies, one combat training, and one junior classmen class. And the other one is..........well, it's specialized training. You're gonna help me train President Loire's daughter. Who knows? If we do a good enough job, we might get more sponsors."  
  
"Hmmm.........."Well, at least I would have time to myself again. But Vienna? I wondered if she was quite cut out to be a gunblade artist.  
  
"It's not an option, Tilmitt. Meet me at the training center tomorrow morning during your first free. Dismissed."  
  
And he went back to shuffling through his papers, just like that! I snorted haughtily and stomped my foot on the floor before stalking out, now having another worry to be added to my list. This job was more than it was worth, sometimes! And it didn't even pay well, either!  
  
"Instructor T.!!!"I heard Mira boom behind me, her heeled boots clicking on the polished floors as she came running up behind me."I heard that you've canceled half of your classes!"She looked distraught, and with veritable reason. Mira's weapon of choice was a quarterstaff.  
  
"I haven't canceled them,"I told her brightly, trying to look better than I felt."Just switched a lot of them around. You're still in basic studies, aren't you?"  
  
"Yeah, but now we have to have Instructor Tora as our combat specialist, and he's SO MEAN!!!"  
  
"Hey, it'll be okay! I'm not a quarterstaff specialist, you know. But I'll tell you what, okay? I've got two free periods a day, now. I use up one for lunch and grading, but during the other one, I'll still give you some basic training, okay?"  
  
Mira's face brightened, and she nodded."Thanks, Instructor T.! You rock!"  
  
I laughed and waved as she ran away."Ha ha ha...........oh, Hyne."My laughter quickly faded into a groan.  
  
"What's wrong, Instructor?"I turned around at the sound of Vienna's quiet, polite voice. Now that I thought on it, she did look a bit like Sir Laguna---brown-haired and of relatively average build. But her eyes she must have inherited from her mother, for they were a deep, steely gray.  
  
"Nothing's wrong. It's me, of course! You know my philosophy! Peace! Love! And Happiness!"  
  
Vienna laughed."I'm sorry, Instructor. I just thought that maybe you were in some sort of trouble, because Commander Almasy canceled a lot of your classes."  
  
I shook my head."I'm not scared of that big dork! Besides, it was only two of my classes. You've still got basic studies with me, remember? Oh!"I dug around in my bag and pulled out a piece of paper, handing it to her."Your GF report. Full marks, Vienna."I didn't try to hide my pride."I especially liked the way you called Griever the 'Lord of the Shadows'. I think you must be quite taken with him."  
  
She turned red, just like I thought she would."Yeah....I, um, I really like Griever."  
  
"You should meet my friend Squall. He likes Griever, too. He's got a ring with Griever on it."  
  
"Really? I'd like to meet him, Instructor. One of these days."  
  
But there was something off-putting about the way she said it. I decided not to think too much of it, because thinking sometimes gives me a headache. I didn't want to end up looking like Quisty, you know!"Okay, Vienna. Oh, by the way, the Beast told me that we're starting training with you tomorrow morning."  
  
"The Beast? C-Commander Almasy? You CALL him that? And he, um, he lets you get away with it?"  
  
That just set me to laughing some more. For some reason, Vienna's shy demeanor always puts me in a good mood."No, he just doesn't know that I do."I shook my finger at her in a mock-stern way."So you'd better not tell him!"  
  
Finally! A tiny laugh escaped her lips."Don't worry, I won't."A pause."I'm really glad you're helping me with my gunblade training, Instructor. It makes me feel better."  
  
"Why? I don't know anything about using one, that's Squall and Seifer's department."  
  
"No, it's, um.........."She looked to be at a loss for words, then lowered her voice at me confidentially."It's Commander Almasy, you know? I'm---I'm............really scared of him. I mean, everyone around here knows what he did and everything, but..........."She shook her head, and swallowed hard."He's just always prowling around here trying to catch kids who are getting into trouble, and stuff like that. He's got that wicked SCAR, not to mention the fact that he's always glaring at something one way or another..............."  
  
I frowned, letting it all sink in. Vienna didn't wait for me to respond."That's why I'm glad that you'll be there, Instructor. I don't think I'll be so scared, that way."  
  
I put on the most reassuring smile that I could."Don't sweat it, Vienna. I'll help you tame the Beast!"  
  
And she smiled and laughed, before waving and heading off to her dormitories. Inside, I was just as deeply disturbed that she was. To tell the truth, I honestly think that Seifer didn't KNOW that he scared people. I mean, he'd probably take great joy and delight in the fact if he knew, but he didn't know. Maybe I could say something to him before tomorrow.  
  
Classes went by uneventfully. I actually had time to sit and ENJOY my lunch, and grade papers. Seifer came in. Yelled about something I didn't pay any attention to. Told me that I was still under strict supervision, and thus was supposed to report to his room after classes and stay there. Made a face and threw a rice cake at him. Had storytime with the kids. The junior classmen, for once, didn't throw food at me when class was over. Cleaned up mess from building blocks and Super-glue(oh Hyne, whoever invented Super-glue must not have had children in mind when they made it).  
  
Packing up my briefcase(and nearly slipping on a banana peel that some smartass had left by the door), I headed back to Seifer's room, dreading sleeping on the hard, hard floor(whoever invented floors must not have had me in mind, either).  
  
The room was dark when I got there. Tee hee! I'd been looking forward to finally getting to play with the Clapper that was in the lair of the Beast, and now I had my chance! Knowing that I must be standing out in the hall grinning like a maniac, I yanked open the door.  
  
"Clap on!"I shouted, smashing my hands together like those little babies you see on TV advertising baby food or diapers or something. At my behest, the lights came on.  
  
I stared at Seifer and the redheaded receptionist for a total of five seconds before I clapped the lights back off, slammed the door shut, and sank down next to it in the hallway."Ew! That's gross!"I whispered to no one in particular, grimacing and closing my eyes. I don't know how I managed to fall asleep with the horrendous images of the two of them practically swallowing one another whole butt naked stuck in my mind, but I managed to do it anyway, albeit the horrid nightmares I had that night.  
  
Thank Hyne I'm not one of Seifer's receptionists.  
  
  
  
  
  
AN~Tee hee! Well, what does everyone think of this? I know it was short, but there wasn't a whole lot to be established in this part. Basically, it was a lot about Vienna. Oh definitely, as you might have guessed, there's more to her than meets the eye. So basically, there's nothing really particularly funny or plot-breaking in this part(you can flame me now, and tell me how much you hate it!, LoL). Vienna's fascination with Griever's a bit interesting(she has one because *I* have a fascination with Griever, tee hee). Next---'Could Things Get Worse?' Oh, yeah! You bet they can! ~tigerofthewind~ 


	6. Could Things Get Worse?

Hey! I Could Be A Messenger From Hyne, Ya Know!- A Misadventurous Romance Story  
  
Chapter Six-Could Things Get Worse?  
  
  
  
AN~Okay, you know I have to do this---THANX FOR ALL MY REVIEWS!!! There. That said, I want to dedicate this chapter to Quis, Queen of Camelot, SouthwestEggRoll(who reviewed all of my chapters in one go! whoo-hoo!), and AmyAngel(an anonymous reviewer, unfortunately I can't E-mail her to tell her how much I appreciate her reviews). I really like to see people continuing to read this, but then again, maybe it's just because I keep pestering them with reviews and E-mails otherwise. LoL. Well, where will the insanity of us all take you, the reader? Continue on to find out! ~tigerofthewind~  
  
  
  
  
  
I was awakened the next morning by something promptly swinging from out of nowhere and bashing me in the face. After jumping awake and shouting half-articulated curses that would have made my mother turn over in her grave if she had heard them, I just contented myself by giving Seifer(the cause of my agony, as you might have guessed) a rather obscene gesture.  
  
"And the same to you with bells on,"he said, laughing."Didn't think you'd be the swearing type, messenger girl."  
  
Once again, more name-calling. I instantly felt better, and jumped to my feet, rubbing my aching nose with my hand."Tee hee! I guess I asked for that one, hunh? Well, I'll be late for class if I don't hurry! We've got training with Vienna today, don't we? See you then!"  
  
I will admit, he did look rather baffled at my upbeat exit. I think that made me happier than the thought of having two free periods all to myself today.  
  
First class was tutorial. Grrrr.  
  
"Doctor Odine of Esthar was the first scientist to ever perform research on a sorceress,"I told the class, watching them as they pretended to listen to my boring lecture. Mira was leaning heavily on her elbow with her head propped on her fist, Trussel was pretty much doing the same thing except chewing vaguely on his pen, Kendis was off to the side giggling at the strange faces her boyfriend was making at her across the room, and Pan was putting a haughty expression on his face and pretending to talk importantly, clearly mocking either me or one of the other teachers. Not to mention the countless others who weren't even TRYING to hide the fact that they were asleep.  
  
"You guys have all heard of Sorceress Adel, right?"I asked, trying to involve them in some way, shape, or form. A few unfocused nods from all around."Well, you know what my theory is? I think she was actually a HE!"  
  
THAT got their attention. Mira's head slipped off of her elbow and banged loudly on her desk."W-What?!"she gasped.  
  
"I told you,"I repeated."I think Adel was actually a man. It would make sense, since no records of sorcerers in this timeline have ever been recorded."  
  
"B-But............WHY?!"Kendis wanted to know. I shrugged.  
  
"She just looked like a man, that's all. Think about it. Odine was this scientist. If he made some big discovery, don't you think he'd want to........you know, keep it to himself for a while? Dig up a little more info on the subject, then present it when there was enough research?"  
  
There was a reason the kids were all shocked. Adel had once been their ruler---well, their parents ruler, at least. It was still forbidden to speak ill of her(or him, tee-hee!).  
  
"Woah, that's whacked,"admitted Branton, Kendris's boyfriend."You think she was actually SORCERER Adel?"  
  
I shrugged again."Maybe."I paused."But you guys could formulate your own theories if you'd actually pay attention in class, instead of creating your own little amusements off to the side."  
  
It worked. They all looked appropriately abashed. I cleared my throat before going on."Back to the subject. Odine was the first scientist to perform research on a live sorceress---or sorcerer, whatever the case may be. Because of his research, the system of para-magic was developed. Para- magic is actually a subsystem of the Ancient Magic that pertained to the now-extinct Centra. The Centra were the first sorcerers and sorceresses. Humans came not long after that, being created by the Great Hyne herself. Hyne was actually the first sorceress, and was the creator of the Centra and of mankind. The rumor goes that several of the more powerful Centra were actually descendants of Hyne."  
  
The class had sunk back into it's usual stupor. I cleared my throat for their attention again before I went on."Both Esthar and Balamb Gardens use Guardian Forces in conjunction with para-magic to give us great strength. However, it has now been proven that because GF's make a place in our subconcious that makes us lose our memories, Gardens are only allowed to junction GF's to volunteers. As a matter of fact, GF sign-up ends this week, so those of you who haven't signed up and want to, had better get a move on."  
  
"What are your GF's, Instructor?"someone in the back piped up, and I sighed.  
  
"Might as well show you,"I said, figuring that it would be good for them to get up and move around. "Come on, let's go to the training center."  
  
"Yeah!"  
  
"All right!"  
  
"Cool!"  
  
Those and several similar cheers met my ears as I got to my feet and sifted through my magic, before properly junctioning Confuse, Berserk, Sleep, and Silence to my status defense, and Bio, Life, Shell, and Quake to my elemental defense. Esthar Garden's training center was full to the brim with Malboros.  
  
We entered the training center and I told the class to stand near the doorway, and to not move until I told them to. Instead, I ran around in circles and threw sticks, stones, and even one of my boots at the walls, trying to provoke a monster to come out.  
  
Aha! Sure enough, crawling around the side was a Grat, a not-to-diffucult monster that we had back at Balamb. So, I took the oppurtunity to summon some of my weaker GF's.  
  
"Hell Fire!"I shouted, trying out a new summoning motion that I'd been working on. Instead of making my nunchaku into the shape of a Z, I tried making it into the shape of an N.  
  
Ifrit appeared and sent his blast of molten lava at the Grat, completely obliterating it. As his roars faded away into the back of my mind, I heard applause from my students. I smiled, and dredged up a T-Rexaur---a little more diffucult.  
  
First thing I did was cast Protect, so when it lashed out at me with it's giant teeth, the blue shield softened the blow. Some bruises, but it didn't even draw blood."Dark Messenger!"  
  
A few casts of Diablos, and the T-Rexaur was dead. I hadn't gotten through this battle unscarred, though, and opted to cast Recover on myself. Searching around, I got two more Grats, and swamped them with a single casting of Leviathan. Another Grat, so I showed the class Cerberus's Counter Rockets, and cast three Meteor spells in a row to get rid of it.  
  
Aha! Finally! Making some disgusting crunching noise, a Malboro waltzed around the corner like it owned the place. I took a deep breath, and formed my nunchaku into the shape of an X with a line at the bottom. "Eternal Breath!!!"  
  
As I suspected, the class was wowed by the spectacular performance of Eden. I was so busy concentrating my powers to Boost the darn thing, that I missed it. The Malboro was no more, thank Hyne. After that, I fought one more T-Rexaur to show the class Alexander, Cactuar, and Bahamut. Then, sweaty and panting, I led my students back to class. They were still talking about which GF was their favorite.  
  
"Eden was SO ass-kickin'!"  
  
"But Bahamut's the King of Summons, isn't he? I read that somewhere!"  
  
"No way! Diablos beats them all!"  
  
The girls were relatively quiet, not preferring any of the brawny things I had summoned. So, just for a few kicks, I called on Carbuncle to cast Ruby Light on some of them, and they gushed over how cute it was. I recalled it's fear as the junior classmen back at Balamb tried to plunge it down the john.  
  
Blessedly, basic knowledge class was over not long after that. I ended early, because during a lecture about the Great Salt Lake, Trussel's pen exploded in his mouth and I had to take him to see Doctor Fars, Esthar Garden's physician.  
  
On the way back, I checked my watch and realized that I was supposed to meet Vienna and Seifer in the training center for her lesson ten minutes ago. Groaning and wondering what sort of reproachment I was going to get for being late, I broke into a run.  
  
As I neared the facilities, I heard several shouts and the noises of metal against metal. I ran faster. Stopping at the entrance, I saw that the two of them had already begun sparring, and that Vienna was losing horribly. Try as she might, she couldn't seem to move fast enough to follow Seifer's orders.  
  
"Downstroke! Parry! Advance! Parry! Evade! Evade! Retreat! Downstroke! Parry! FOR HYNE'S SAKE, LOIRE, USE YOUR HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
The Beast had shouted this last statement as Vienna overestimated a slash and tripped over her own feet, before falling facedown in the dirt. Quick as a flash, Seifer put the heel of his steel-tipped-booted foot on her back, the Hyperion aimed directly for the back of her head. He made a noise of disgust and spun around abruptly, coming face to face with me."Good, you're here. Maybe you can teach this idiot a little bit of accuracy. Apparently those archery lessons weren't worth what her father paid for them."  
  
I rolled my eyes at him."If you'd stop being such an ass about it, maybe she could concentrate a little more!"I retorted, helping a shaking Vienna to her feet."Okay, Vienna. My guess is, because it's a gunblade, your Nemeris should have an accuracy rate of 255%, right?"  
  
She nodded. Seifer snorted his lack of believing that."Well, you've got to draw on that. My nunchaku here, the Strange Vision, has that hit percentage, too. So what you do is, you let the WEAPON guide your hands to where they want to go. With other weapons, you have to direct them, but not with these. Just draw on the Nemeris's accuracy, and you'll do fine."  
  
"I---I'm not fast enough to follow orders,"she said, in a voice barely over a whisper. In a second, I checked her junctioning. It was all good; Ultima on strength, Triple on speed, Meltdown on vitality, Curaga on spirit, Pain on magic, Aura on luck, and Stop on evade. The only thing I fixed was her elemental defense junctioning, replacing the Tornado that she had there with 100 Firaga, knowing as well as I do how much Seifer liked to use fire magic.  
  
"Well, you're junctioning's good,"I told her."The thing is, you're just not utilizing it properly. You have to LET the magic and the GFs give you strength. It's the same thing with the hit percent of the Nemeris. Concentrate on the para-magic, Vienna, and you'll be fine."  
  
"I, uh........."She looked around the room as if searching for a means to escape. I didn't blame her. She looked ready to drop dead from fear. I smiled at her.  
  
"You wanna try sparring with me, first?"To ease her mind and(although not willingly) bloat his ego, I added:"I'm not as good as Commander Almasy, though."  
  
Tee-hee, it worked. Vienna swallowed hard and looked over at the Beast, who nodded his approval. I undid the Strange Vision from it's usual knot and took my battle stance. Vienna stood in a stance that reminded me so much of Squall that it was nearly heartbreaking. I think I wanted to go home. Besides, what about the Garden Festival?  
  
At that moment of my absentness, Vienna charged, striking low. Hyne, she was FAST! I'd never had a good speed stat, and her's was out of this world! I guess my advice on drawing on the strength of her GFs really worked. I mean, I didn't expect her to get it the first try.  
  
Phew! I prevented myself from nearly being beheaded. In it's stead, I felt myself swirling upward under the full-fledged power of a Tornado spell. Good thing it was junctioned to my elemental defense, and instead I felt some of my strength returning as I landed.  
  
I took the oppurtunity to cast Cerberus on myself, and three Water spells on her. The damage was halved because of the Life and Shell she had there, but it damaged nonetheless. After the last couple of drips faded away, she darted in to strike. The battle was really heating up.  
  
I just managed to block her attack in time. She danced out of striking distance, her eyes narrowing. It was a calculating look, the look of someone who was planning their next move. I was glad to see that she was learning so fast.  
  
Another hit, and this time I wasn't able to dodge it. I fell back, bleeding freely from a wound on my arm. I sifted through my magic searching for a Full-cure, but instead I found.........  
  
"Rapture!"I cried, and the pretty white angel wings attached themselves to Vienna's back and flew her promptly out of the training center. I sat down on the ground hard, my legs seemed to have given way. I found the Full- cure I was looking for and cast it on myself.  
  
"Tilmitt, where did she go?!"Seifer looked pretty outraged. I wished that I hadn't cured myself, then I could just cast Rapture on him to and get him away from me."How are we supposed to tell President Loire that we've lost his daughter?!"  
  
I grinned."Tee-hee, we haven't LOST her! She's just in the parking lot. Don't worry, she'll be back soon."  
  
His anger faded to confusion."...........Say again?"  
  
"It's Rapture, you doofus! My special magic! It flies an enemy out of battle! Don't worry, she's not hurt."  
  
He folded his arms across his chest.".............Show me."  
  
"Erm........I can't."I climbed to my feet."It's part of my Limit Break."  
  
He muttered something that I took to be a swear to himself, then something else, and a yellowish glow spread itself up my body. I recognized it to be an Aura spell.  
  
So, I found a Rapture spell and cast it on him, sending him out to the parking lot where Vienna was. During the time I was waiting for them to come back, I sat down to think.  
  
(Man, I miss Balamb), was the first thought that flew through my mind.(The field exam would be starting right about now, the kids would be trying to see if you could light Ifrit on fire and have it actually hurt, and that same asshole who casts Triple on himself and uses Death spells on students walking down the halls would be back at it again............)  
  
(Why did I have to be here? I mean, I like Vienna and Mira and Trussel and all of them, but why me? There's so many who are more qualified for this job! It's getting harder and harder for me to stay all sunshine and smiles, you know! Plus, there's the Garden Festival going on back home, and all of my classes!)  
  
I wondered what everyone else would be doing now. Squall would probably be worrying himself to death because it had been at least three weeks since my last transmission, Rinoa would be telling him to STOP worrying, Quisty would probably trying to get the pervert down at Fisherman's Horizon who keeps pretending to hang off of the bridge just so he could look up her skirt thrown in jail, Zell would promptly be devouring every hot dog in sight if he got to the cafeteria early enough, or throwing a huge hissy fit if he didn't get there early enough, and Irvine.........  
  
Well, I didn't know WHAT Irvy would be up to.(Probably busy flirting with some air-brained chick right about now), I thought bitterly, my first real bitter thought in a long time. It looks like 'Peace! Love! And Happiness!' had finally committed suicide or something to that effect.  
  
"Interesting magic, Tilmitt,"I heard the Beast say from behind me, and I sighed heavily, getting to my feet. Poking her head out sheepishly from behind him was Vienna, the Nemeris trailing slightly along on the ground. I shrugged.  
  
"I could never cast it on you before. The End would have worked, but I could never find it in time. Usually, I just settle for Wall or Full-cure."  
  
"Hmmm............."I think he'd forgotten that Vienna was there, because he looked a little startled when she spoke up.  
  
"Ummm, sir? Did I do better with Instructor Tilmitt?"  
  
Seifer managed to hide his surprise."What? Yeah, Loire. But I'm a lot harder to beat."I snorted off to the side, preferring instead to study a spot on the wall."We'll try your luck with me, this time."  
  
Vienna looked terrified at the thought. I turned to her."Don't worry. You did quite well against me. Just remember what I told you, 'kay?"  
  
She didn't look as though she believed me, but she nodded nonetheless. To me, something seemed off about Vienna, something about her weapon. Aside from the fact that it was nearly three-quarters her size, that is.  
  
She and the Beast took their stances."This time, try to follow orders, Loire,"he told her, a little more harshly than what I thought was necessary. Then again, at least he wasn't shouting at her."Advance! Downstroke! Evade! Downstroke! Retreat! Parry! Advance!"  
  
She seemed to be doing better this time, I noted. While still not being able to place on decent hit on him (although she did slash a tear in his coat, which I knew I would never hear the end of later), she had managed to avoid all of his, as well.  
  
My mind started to wander again, as it usually did. I was quickly snapped back to reality, however, as a sharp cry made me nearly bite my tongue in half. It was Vienna, a huge gash in her right calf. And I mean, HUGE. I was surprised her leg didn't fall off right at that moment.  
  
As it was, she collapsed to the ground. But just before she fell, more a spasm of pain than anything, she got one more slash upward............  
  
I could see the headlines:'STUDENT AND TEACHER KILLED IN SPARRING LESSON WHILE DORKY AND TOTALLY UNHELPFUL INSTRUCTOR SAT BY AND WATCHED." I thought this as soon as I saw Seifer collapse on the ground next to Vienna, her hit having been a good(if albeit a lucky one, at least) one across his side.  
  
I paused. Did I dare? I mean, it wouldn't be the first time I'd done something to this proximity, but if I messed up, then I could very well end up killing us all.............  
  
I checked my elemental attack, and my elemental defense. The Life and Shell still held. Shaking slightly, I took the 100 Bio off of defense and put it onto attack. Status attack was Blind, but I could live with that, seeing as how the Strange Vision had that 255% accuracy thingy, anyway.  
  
Drawing a deep breath, I swung my nunchaku around and slammed them promptly back into my head. Stars swam in front of my vision, and I could feel my elemental defense absorbing half in the impact. Damn. It still wasn't enough. Since I was officially Blinded, I had to let the Strange Vision do it's work. I braced myself and hit myself again, this time on the stomach. Stars swam in my head, and I really felt like I had to puke. But it worked. I had my Limit Break.  
  
Sifting through my special magic, I found the Full-cure I was looking for, and hurriedly cast it on the three of us, dropping to the ground in weak-kneed relief. I was so afraid that I would end up KOing myself and screw us all over. But I couldn't have just done some Curaga's, they were some pretty serious hits. Something could have came along and KOed us all again when I was still casting cure spells.  
  
"........Damn............."The Beast arose first, grumpy and complaining as usual. I think his ego was hurt more than he was; it made me happy."Tilmitt, what'd you do?"  
  
"Me?!"I shrieked, putting an indignant look on my face. How DARE he?! After it was ME who just saved him from imminent DESTRUCTION! What a lousy, ungrateful---  
  
"Yeah, you. I know you used your Limit Break; I've seen it often enough to know. But HOW?"I closed my mouth abruptly, and put on a sheepish grin.  
  
"I whacked myself a couple of good ones,"I admitted, showing him the bruises. I would have a granny of a headache tomorrow, I knew it. Just to save a beauty and a beast. Tee-hee. I saw that Vienna was still unconcious, but thanks to MY Full-cure, she was unhurt.  
  
Seifer's eyes narrowed, but not at me. Hyne, if he had even SLIGHTLY narrowed his eyes at me, it would take more than a Full-cure to save him, I swear it!"Tilmitt."He put a hand on my shoulder, then used me as a support to haul himself to his feet, before bending down and offering me a hand up himself."........Thanks."  
  
Then he went over to check on Vienna, still upset at her one lucky stroke, I could tell. A fly nearing zooming into my mouth made me shut it hurriedly. I had been standing there with my jaw dropped open.  
  
".......Loire. You all right?"Vienna's eyes snapped open and she sat up, hurriedly giving the Beast a salute that nearly ended up smacking her in the face.  
  
"Y-Yes, sir. I......I didn't mean to---"  
  
"..........Nice stroke. But a lucky one. You can't go through a battle relying on just luck. I'll want to see you in my office at 08:00 tomorrow. Until then, dismissed."  
  
Vienna managed another salute before beating a hasty retreat, barely stopping to grab the Nemeris from where it lay in the grass near the exit. Frowning slightly, I dusted myself off before picking up the Strange Vision, slinging it over my shoulder. Seifer did the same with the Hyperion. However, as I started to walk away, he called after me.  
  
"Tilmitt! Come here for a second."  
  
I did so. He seemed to be thinking hard about something(once again, I was getting pretty used to the sight). After a few seconds, though, he suddenly tossed me the Hyperion. I was so startled, I nearly dropped it.  
  
It was the first time I had ever held the thing. It was black with a silver edge, narrow-bladed, and there was a design etched into the gun handle part of it, something I couldn't quite see. On the side, in fancy, twirling letters, was the word 'Hyperion'. I liked it. At least, I liked it better than Squall's. Of course, the narrow blade was interesting, but I guess it made for even deadlier hits. I knew for a fact that it would draw less blood.  
  
"S-Sir?"I managed. He shrugged.  
  
"Been looking for a new battle stance. One of your students told me you were good at that, so I thought I'd ask. My old one left too much of me open, but at least it kept one of my hands free. I'm lookin' for something in between."  
  
I frowned; knowing him, there was definitely more to this than what originally met the eye. But I shrugged it off, and tried to think of something to suggest that wasn't totally retarded. I was determined to find out which student had informed him of my abilities as an instructor, and promptly murder them on the spot.  
  
"Vienna and Squall hold their gunblades in an upright position, which is great defensively,"I said carefully, hoping I didn't sound like I was reading right out of a textbook. Picking stances for my students was one thing, but Seifer? The self-proclaimed 'best soldier in the world'? Self- proclaimed being the key words here, folks."But then again, you have to use both your hands in holding it up. I'm not even sure WHAT the hell you do, but maybe holding it sideways? Like, it puts more strain on your dominant wrist, but you can still guard yourself and have one of your hands free."I demonstrated, he scrutinized.  
  
"All right, Tilmitt."I was surprised to hear an undernote of something that sounded like SATISFACTION in his voice. He bent down and found a good- sized rock, before throwing it into the bushes and calling out a Grat. It charged towards me, making that indistinct clicking noise that it makes with it's mandibles."Now, let's see how well it works."  
  
I gaped at him. HE was expecting ME to fight off this Grat with his Hyperion?! I'd never even HELD the thing before this, and now he wanted me to fight with it?! No WAY!  
  
Well, I didn't exactly have much choice. Maybe he did want to see how well the new stance worked. Or maybe(I suspected this more) he just wanted to see me make an ass out of myself and get beat up in the process.  
  
The stupid thing tried to cast it's Sleeping Gas on me. Which of course didn't work, because of the Sleep I had junctioned to my status defense. Thinking fast, I tried to concoct a way of slashing. Vienna and Squall did the basic downstroke, which I had to admit was predictable and easy to defend against, while Seifer did this odd diagonal-upwards thing, which was only useful if you were hoping to slice your enemies' legs right out from underneath them. Which I guess was useful, in a sense.  
  
I envisioned myself picking the most gory way possible to slice up a Malboro(by now, I had harbored the world's biggest grudge against the abominations). Of course. A nice one, right across the middle. Chop it in half! Watch it's guts ooze out of it's body! And then, BLOW IT TO SMITHEREENS!!!!!!! WHOO-HOO!!!!!!  
  
The violent half of me took over. I decided that a side slash was perfect, and darted in for the Grat. I was right. It did more damage than a downstroke, and even more than an uppercut. Perfect! Not too much longer, the Grat was defeated. And off to the side, Seifer was still watching me with that calculating look.  
  
"Tilmitt,"he said, after I had wiped all the Grat ooze from the Hyperion and given it back to him,"I want you to meet me up in my office with Loire tomorrow, at 08:00 hours. Don't be late."  
  
I tried to talk to him some more, but he wouldn't say anything else. Dispirited, I gave up, and headed back to my classroom. After this morning's sparring lesson, today's instructions on close-range combat seemed almost dull. ALMOST dull, considering the fact that Fujin came in to instruct students with her Zan, and nearly got her other eye put out. Vienna was in the back, subdued as normal. I still couldn't believe that she was Sir Laguna's daughter.  
  
During lunch, when I was supposed to have been checking the new list of GF volunteers, my thoughts floated to Sir Laguna. I know, I know! I just couldn't help it. He was SOOO cute! All the funny little things he did, the way he got embarrassed over them, his adorable way that he wore his expressions right out on his face...............  
  
I couldn't help it; I gave a little girlish sigh at that. If this were a cartoon, I'd have little hearts drawn in where my eyes should be.  
  
A giggle interrupted my swooning, and I turned sharply towards the doorway. It was Mira, standing there in a cute little tee-shirt with cats on it and a pair of shorts. Most certainly NOT her Esthar Garden uniform, by the way."Instructor T.! You're in love! I knew it! I just knew you were in love with him!"  
  
Oh, no! Was I that transparent?! Would she tell anyone?! Vienna would be SO mortified if she found out! "Mira, you can't tell anyone---"  
  
"Oh, of COURSE not!"I saw past her innocent face."I think it's cute, Instructor T. Anyway, you said you've give me some close combat training, right? Instructor Tora doesn't know a single thing about quarterstaffs, just like I thought. I mean, I know you said you fight with nunchaku,"she went on hurriedly,"but maybe you could help me out a little? This is your free period, right?"  
  
I closed the manila foldier with the list of names inside and put it inside the drawer of my desk."Yeah, it is."I guess I would have to do the grading during my other free."Okay, let's get started. First, I---"  
  
"Erm, Instructor."Mira looked really embarrassed about something."I've brought some friends along, if you don't mind."  
  
I smiled; what more harm could two or three kids do?"Of course not, Mira. They can come in."  
  
Oh, Hyne, that was a mistake. Two or three kids actually turned out to be a number roughly the size of Mira's quarterstaff class. And just as loud.  
  
"EVERYONE, QUIET!!!!!!"I shouted, and I swear that some of the plaster fell from the walls as I yelled it. They all stopped doing whatever it was they were doing to turn and stare at me."Okie, now that I've got your attention, can someone please tell me what is going on here?"  
  
"Mira said you could help us out, because Instructor Tora doesn't know shit about combat,"said a tall boy, I think his name was Macks. A girl I knew to be called Peili piped in, too.  
  
"We didn't want to leave your class anyway, Instructor T.!"she said, looking indignant."But because the Commander had to be a total asshole, we got booted!"  
  
"Look,"I said, trying to keep patience."Seifer's asshole level(as high as that might be, grant you) isn't the issue here. I offered Mira some extra help, but I can't teach a WHOLE CLASS full of quarterstaff students! I don't know anything about it! Go see Raijin if you want some extra help."  
  
I had expected that it would settle the matter, but it didn't."Jeez, Instructor Tilmitt!"It was Mira."When'd you get to be a total stiff?"It was also the first time she hadn't called me Instructor T.  
  
"I'm not a stiff,"I protested, and felt my resolve slipping. I knew the kids would win, anyway. Kids were damn persistent."All right, all right. I'll try and help you out. But no complaining if Tora yells at you because I've been teaching you wrong."  
  
Collective shouts of 'yeah' and 'awesome' met my ears. I sighed.  
  
Could things get worse?  
  
After some basic tutorial stuff(NO!!!!!! THE BASIC KNOWLEDGE CLASS WAS COMING BACK TO BITE ME IN THE ASS!!!!!!) I let the kids start sparring with their weapons. Some considerable hours later, I watched the last of the students leave, desperately wanting to soak in a nice hot bath. I was bruised(and even a bit bloodied) all over from quarterstaff smacks. Hyne, how I wanted whoever invented the quarterstaff to die(if they weren't dead already, that is).  
  
Stretching my aching limbs, I sat through three more classes before my last free came. Oh, thank Hyne, it was at the end of the day. Finally sitting down and being able to eat my lunch, I sifted through the rest of the GF sign-up papers and began to grade the test I had given today on Odine and Sorcere(r or ss, whichever way you looked at it) Adel. Indeed, most of the students had written wisecracks during the question dealing with some of the things Odine developed from studying Adel('a boner' and 'a homosexual lifestyle' were the most popular ones, by the way).  
  
Just as I was getting ready to pack up and leave, the Beast entered without knocking. It seemed to be in a rage today.  
  
"Tilmitt. Walk with me."Well, since he asked that of me just about every day after class, I shrugged noncommittingly and stuffed my papers in my bag, before tossing it over my shoulder, before following him out of the room.  
  
"Sir?"I asked, wondering how much farther I could go along on this thin ice before it broke. He stopped in a deserted hallway, turning to face me with a dangerous look on his face.  
  
"Tell me why,"he said, starting towards me slowly,"you've been going around saying that the former ruler of this land was a CLOSET-ROOM CROSSDRESSER...............?"He spoke the last part in nothing more than a venomous hiss; I was really scared now. For every step he took towards me, I took one back.  
  
"S-Sir? What......what do you me---I mean.........what?"Thump! My back hit the wall. I cast my eyes around desperately, searching for a way to escape. I mean, he wouldn't REALLY kill me, would he?! There was too many people around, and............!!!  
  
"You KNOW what I mean. It's all over this place, how you've told your students that Sorceress Adel was actually a man in disguise."With each word, he was bringing his face deliberately closer to mine, until I finally turned my head towards the wall, my eyes shut tight. At least I wouldn't have to WATCH him kill me."A laugh it might get for you, Tilmitt, but you know what it gets for me?"  
  
WHERE WAS MY STRANGE VISION?!?!?!?!?! If I ever needed it more than anything, now was the time!!!!!!!  
  
The Beast went on, in this low growling voice that made him sound more like a beast than ever."Phone calls. And LOTS of them. Parents wanting to know what sort of corrupt garbage my instructors are teaching. Some threatening to revoke their kids' enrollment. So, you know what YOU get to do?"  
  
I had a good idea."P-Pack my stuff, hunh? Tee-hee......."I managed a shaky laugh."I always wondered when you'd fire me............"  
  
If he was surprised that I said that, he didn't show it. I turned away from the wall long enough to see him shaking his head. THAT was confusing; unnerving at best, too. That sealed it. Of course he was going to kill me. I'd die a virgin, and without ever planning a proper Garden Festival---  
  
WOAH?!?!?!?! I did NOT just think that, did I?! Ew, gross!!!!!!!! That should be the LAST thing on my mind right now! No, instead I should be trying to ask forgiveness for all the bad stuff I'd done, and make peace with Hyne before I went to Nemeris, the Underworld---  
  
"No, instead you get to make a formal apology to the Esthar government, or else,"corrected Seifer, so close to me that his lips were touching my ear. That 'or else' held a mountain of threats in it, none of which I wanted to envision at the moment. Hyne, how I hated confrontation! I liked fighting, but not........Fighting, with a captial 'F'! And Hyne, he was scary! I knew how Vienna felt.  
  
"O-Or else..............?"I squeaked, not staring at him, but at everything else. I had to admit, it was quite the suggestive position, him with his arms pinning me to the wall. I wondered, should I scream for help? No, the lights were going down, so it was past curfew. All the instructors would be going back to their rooms, or meeting up in the lounge.........  
  
The Beast laughed, a laugh I didn't like. It was low-pitched, and seemed to almost vibrate in my ear."You actually want me to go on, Tilmitt? Or, are you just seeing how far you can try my patience? I'm a generally patient guy, you understand, but a certain little messenger girl seems to have been grating on my nerves as of late.............."  
  
No need to ask who THAT was. I was just about to break away and possibly make a run for it, when something caught my eye.  
  
Of course. That insignia on the arm of his coat, the flaming sword. THAT was the mark I had seen on the Hyperion. I honestly don't know what had made me think of it now, maybe a combination of too much coffee and a pyschopath pinning you to a wall could make you think of strange things.  
  
He caught me looking. I guess it was kinda hard for him NOT to, I was staring like I had done when he ever-so-politely thanked me for saving his lousy ass."So, you remembered. If you'd studied your history properly, you'd know where it came from, too. A flaming sword on a field of white.........."  
  
He seemed a bit pensive. I wondered if I could use his lack of focus as a chance to break away. But something about that bothered me.'A flaming sword on a field of white............'  
  
'...........in the hands of those who bear the light'!!!!! That was IT!!!!!!! The.........pledge to the last house of the Dollet Dukedom!!!!!!!!!!! NO...........WAY!!!!!!!!!!  
  
A strangled noise of something I couldn't quite discern escaped my mouth; a gloved hand hurriedly cut it off."Not a word, Tilmitt. Not a word. Your supervision still stands. Don't forget our meeting with Loire tomorrow at 8."  
  
He starting walking away calmly, like nothing had happened."I've bought you a bed, by the way,"he added nonchalantly, and cut off whatever it was I had been about to say with a flick of his wrist."Don't forget."  
  
I stood, flabbergasted.(If he was............then he could............HOLY HYNE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) Shaking my head to clear it of any thoughts whatsoever, I felt the sudden urge that I wanted to go to a bar. I couldn't believe it. If he'd known, then why hadn't he told any of us up until now.........? It seemed like something he would want to flaunt in our faces.  
  
I watched him walk away; long legs taking long strides, his hands stuffed down deep in his pockets(a gesture more custom of Zell; he'd never had his hands in his pockets since I'd starting working here), that golden-blondish hair shining in the moonlight. I JUST talked to him. I couldn't believe it. Couldn't believe it.  
  
For, if everything was the way I thought it to be and the insignia was truly his; then, the man I had just been talking to was Sir Seifer Almasy, the last emperor of the Dollet Dukedom.  
  
  
  
  
  
AN~Tee hee! Isn't this great?!?!?!*drinks more Vanilla Coke and wonders how she could possibly be so hyper* Freaky plot twist, hunh?! The first of many, I predict! So, a little confused? Don't worry, I am, too. I'll try to explain everything in the next part, don't worry. Key word---TRY. Until then, pester me with E-mails and beg to know what's going on! LoL. BTW, I know you can't have an emperor of a dukedom, but I just think 'Dollet Dukedom' sounds so much cooler than 'Dollet Empire'. Alliteration kicking in, or something.*drinks more Vanilla Coke* Anyway, if I'm going to get about explaining all this, then I'd better go! Byes!*uses magical tigerofthewind powers to vanish in the blink of an eye* ~tiger~*is vanished* 


	7. Pork Rinds, Lesbians, and an Encounter o...

Hey! I Could Be A Messenger From Hyne, Ya Know!- A Misadventurous Romance Story  
  
Chapter Seven-Pork Rinds, Lesbians, and an Encounter of the Bizarro Kind  
  
  
  
AN~Hello, all!*waves* Once again, the must-say 'THANK YOU' to all my reviewers! This chapter is shamelessly dedicated to liss, and to trajik007, for adding their second reviews to the list(remember, you review more than once, and I give you a chapter, LoL). I still love you, even if I haven't dedicated a chapter to you, yet! The truth is, all of you guys pestering me to keep updating has actually made me shirk the practically-a-novel FF8 story I was writing. Which might have been a good thing, seeing as how I was at a dead spot anyway. As it goes, I will probably go around shamelessly plugging it from here on in. ALL my fics, actually. SO GO READ THEM! LoL. Well, well, well.*tsk-tsks* Interesting plot development, eh? The idea for this, you ask? I was bored with the same old orphanage stories(I'm generally bored with the same old anything, you might have noticed), and I liked the old Dollet Empire. I thought it deserved more credit. Ah, hell, maybe I just liked Seifer too much and decided to make him an emperor for the hell of it. Either which way, emperor he is. Where will this lead you, as the reader? And me, before I lose my sanity completely? ~tigerofthewind~  
  
  
  
  
  
The kingdom of the Dollet Dukedom was a long-running one, lasting through several dynasties before finally meeting it's end somewhere around the year 17 SGA, that is, the Second Golden Age. The first Golden Age had come after the First Sorceress War back during the days of the Centra, and the second after the Second Sorceress War against Adel. As it went, the year 18 SGA was nearing.  
  
The Dollet Dukedom went by many names--the Dollet Dukedom, the Dollet Empire, and the Kingdom of Dollet, just to name a few. All of those could be historically described as true; more often than not, Dollet would change from being a monarchy to an oligarchy to who-knows-what. But one thing that remained steady in all of the legends was true---that it could accurately be called the Kingdom of the Light.  
  
Once a great nation, Palan'de'leiya(Centra for the kingdom at that time) spanned from the Centra continent, as far south as the Cape of Good Hope, and as far north as Winter Island, where the Shumis dwelt. The only land independent from it's rule was the mysterious nation of Esthar, sealed away by it's sorceress magic. The two countries were often at war, even long before the Second Sorceress War. Esthar's technological advancement made them a formidable opponent for the Dolletians, and their massive population posed a threat even to their machinery. Fierce battles raged the world, flattening mountains and laying waste to forests that had stood thousands of years old.  
  
All seemed lost.  
  
And all would have been, had it not been for a young army general and his courageous band of followers............  
  
They called themselves 'paladins', and rode on the front lines, bravely staring the Gatekeeper of Nemeris in the eye with every battle. Protecting the king with their lives, you would often see their white banners flying out through the wind. The king of Palan'de'leiya was so grateful for their aide that he adopted their banner as his own, and changed the old pledge to the kingdom to that of 'A flaming sword on a field of white, in the hands of those who bear the light'........  
  
Indeed, the banner of Palan'de'leiya was a red sword with the tip pointed downward, against a white background. Later, during a battle that would break apart the Centra continent itself into smaller pieces of continent, a battle that would leave the land barren and uninhabitated for years to come, the king was struck an unlucky blow and thus died.  
  
The paladins had always worn shining white armor before the death of their king, hardly ever taking their silver gilded helmets off, but when the king died, they all donned black. All but one laid down their swords at their king's feet, feeling as though the hope for their land had died with him.  
  
All but one. He was the leader of the paladins, and the one who rode first to battle. No, this one did not lay down his sword, but instead held it up for the light to hit.  
  
The sword itself was a magnificent thing, the young general having gotten an Esthar prisoner to graft a strange machine called a 'gun' into it, making it even more powerful than what it was before. The first recorded gunblade.  
  
As the young man pulled off his helmet, those around him gasped. Those who were not too dumbfounded to stand still like a brick dropped to their knees, bowing their heads respectively. The one who had led them so bravely in battle, at risk to his own life, was the king's own son, Pyralin. High Prince, and now King, of Palan'de'leiya.  
  
He spoke:'Let us ride, my companions, for dawn shall see us victorious for yet another day. My father is dead, but I shall rule in his stead, and leave our wives and children nothing to fear!'  
  
He perhaps spoke too soon. Not much long after that, during a fierce battle with a sorceress, the king of Palan'de'leiya was slain. He had left behind a fourteen-year-old widow, and a one-month old son. With the help of some of the paladins, and the widow herself, whose name was Chevresdegould('hair of gold', literally), the infant son took the throne.  
  
The son lived a long life, producing many successors. Esthar itself signed a treaty upon his coming-of-age, and the land was at peace for nearly a thousand years. The blood line of Pyralin, and of Palan'de'leiya, held.  
  
But another time came when it looked as though it would not be so. The threat was not from Esthar, but from dissension among the ranks of her own people. The king in question was actually not a king, but an emperor instead. Emperor Cecilanius, who ruled the throne with an iron fist and an iron purse. Taxes were hard, punishments for not paying them were harder. Few could believe that Pyralin's blood had come to this, although his greatness had been much exaggerated over the years.  
  
He had a wife; my name was Empress Allanna during my life on earth when names mattered, and I was loved by the people. If it were not for the fact that I was carrying Cecilanius' unborn child, I may have escaped the onslaught that night. May have.  
  
As it went, the Dolletian people revolted. This was only a few months before the Second Sorceress War, and had it not been for the Galbadian soldier Laguna Loire, Adel would have surely taken over the world for that reason. Dollet was weak and useless without an emperor to guide them, although they didn't think about that while they mercilessly flayed Cecilanius and thrust his severed head on a pike. He had been shot long before that, weapons and para-magic making such simple killing available.  
  
The same fate would have befallen me if it were not for one of my serving maids, a young lady by the name of Faeye. Faeye had me bundled into a boat that would take me to Balamb, the country that had chosen to remain neutral in the face of Cecilanius' treachery. By meeting up with a friendly young married couple there who adored children, I had managed to save the last of Pyralin's blood, and the last true king of Palan'de'leiya.  
  
I myself died not long after that from the fever that would kill so many, the fever wrought by Sorceress Adel. I had not even managed to name my baby, so soon had I died. The child himself was barely saved. After Cecilanius' fall, Adel had headed straight for the remnants of the Dollet Empire, seeking to destroy what she could. The Centra part of the Dolletian nation fell to the Lunar Cry itself.  
  
Cecilanius was given a proper burial by several who remembered the old stories, and Pyralin, in the resting grounds of his ancestors, the Tomb of the Unknown King. Correctly, it should be called the Tomb of the Unknown Kings, but not many knew that more than one king was buried beneath there. He was also buried under the pretenses that calling a dead king by his name brought bad luck. Not many also knew that the only king buried there in a stone coffin was Pyralin himself; the rest had been freely laid to rest elsewhere on the grounds.  
  
'Ahhhh, at last I am free from this cramped stone coffin. You must have been quite the mighty ones to have defeated the two Brothers. However, there is something I have been thinking of for a very long time. Is it really necessary to entomb those traveling to the other world, after such a long and tiring journey through life?'  
  
Those are the words that the spirit of Pyralin had supposedly uttered when three young members of the elite mercenary force SeeD entered the Tomb and broke the seal to his coffin. Opinions on whether this was a holy act, or merely a desecration of a holy place, are still pending.  
  
Faeye herself headed to Balamb as well, but no one knows much after that. Since no record of her has been found, it is safe to assume that she has died. No one ever acknowledged her as the one who saved the Kingdom of the Light.  
  
The supposed descendant of Pyralin has yet to return to claim the throne. Many have long forgotten about him. Perhaps it would be better like that. Perhaps. The Dollet Dukedom has adopted a republican democracy as their form of government, however, since this alledged heir may very well be alive, they will change it to a monarchy if he decides to return and sit on the throne once more.  
  
Many hope for his return, some dread it. The only dread I have is that my son will grow up to be like his father.............. The only dread I have.  
  
Please, dear young lady, I beg of you! Through your eyes I could see my son again! Allow me to be a traveler through your mind, so that I may look to see what has become of the child I so desperately tried to protect...........  
  
I may be banished to the darkness of Nemeris for this, so much I want to see him. Would you deny a mother this, when she has so much to lose, and nothing to gain, but this?  
  
You, dear young lady, you who know my son well. I thank you.  
  
I am surprised to see that a part of you still does not believe what I am telling you. You have seen it, and my son could tell you for himself. But I suppose your unfocused human minds can forget minor details when you sleep. Very well. My son. I would have named him Hyperion, but Cid and Edea Kramer chose well when they named him, I will allow.  
  
Seifer.............. Yes, the Strength of the Sun.  
  
  
  
**************************************************************************** *****  
  
  
  
A very disgruntled me awoke at some unwanted rays of sunlight poking in through the blinds I had thought I had so carefully positioned in order to keep them out, cursing all the while. I hadn't slept good that night. After a long lecture about the history of the Dollet Empire---(No, Palan'de'leiya), I thought vaguely, remembering that much---some weirdo chick named Allanna had spoken to me, claiming to be the last empress of that very kingdom. Claimed that her son should rightfully be a king. Claimed that none other than Seifer Almasy is her son.  
  
A laugh of something dangerously close to hysteria bubbled up inside me. Look, SEIFER thinking that he was a king certainly wouldn't hold credit with the Dollet Dukedom Parliament. That stupid thingy on his coat could mean anything! Maybe it was a replica, maybe he went scrounging around in the Tomb of the Unknown King(NOT Pyralin, people!) and pulled it off some dead dude's body. That Allanna chick raving in my mind was probably just a bad dream. Although, even if I WAS dreaming, WHY I allowed her free access to my mind was something even I would like to know.  
  
I actually fell out of bed when the voice spoke in my head.'So, human. You think me no more than a fever dream. Or, perhaps a result of too much hits with a quarterstaff?'  
  
"Who---"I started, but whatever in Hyne's name it was cut me off.  
  
'No need, human. Speak to me only through your mind.'  
  
I squinched my eyes shut and tried to think as hard as I could.'WHO.....ARE......YOU?'  
  
Little did I know, that my mental voice was the equivalent to a shout. I found myself recoiling slightly as Allanna(whom I guessed it was, at any rate) recoiled.'Not so loud, human. You know well who I am. I am Allanna le Angelo de Veritate to the Centra, and Allanna Lionors Meriellelia Averyostar Shelanda Yearless to most men. Clan Chieftess to all of the Centra, Lady Ambassador to Esthar, and the last Empress of Palan'de'leiya.'  
  
I knew but little Centra, new languages required thought and effort to learn, and I didn't have much of those as of late. However, I knew enough to know that she was called the Angel of Truth by the Centra. I thought that to be interesting. Her name(or many names, rather) had a nice ring to it."Okay, so I believe you on that. Nobody but the one who owned it would take it upon themself to remember all those names."I paused."I guess you want to see your son, hunh?"  
  
I had spoken aloud again. Hyne, I would have to stop doing that. Allanna gave a droll chuckle in the back of my mind.'I have waited seventeen years in the other world, human. I can wait a little longer.'  
  
While I dressed, we talked. At least, I TRIED to dress. It still felt like my head was spinning. Allanna's presence was bouncing around all in my skull. I really wanted to kick something.  
  
'Human, you have yet to tell me your name.'  
  
I smiled, then wondered if Allanna could see, since she was......oh, forget it! This was TOO creepy!"I'm Selphie. Selphie Tilmitt."  
  
'In your mind, Selphie, in your mind. I think, in the old tongue of the Centra, I will call you Bella. I have little patience for those names with no meaning.'  
  
Bella..........meaning beautiful. I flushed, but this time remembered to talk only in my mind.'Thanks, your........Highness? Grace? Majesty?'  
  
Another dry laugh.'Simply Allanna, human. Bella, I have no need for such formalities in the other world.'  
  
I wanted to ask questions about the other world, but thought that maybe it was forbidden. Forbidden?! Pah! What was I talking about?! Allanna wasn't real, and I was just on too much sugar, or maybe the Beast slipped me something while I was sleep---  
  
'THE BEAST?!'Allanna roared, sounding much like her son in that instant. The force of it sent me slamming back into the wall, crashing into a mirror and sliding down to the floor.'YOU CALL MY SON A BEAST?!'  
  
"Ow, ow, OW! OKAY!"I cried, covering my hands with my ears."I won't anymore, okay?! Just cut it out!!!"  
  
Allanna's fury ceased, and the room replaced the sheet of all-red that had once been there. Shaking my head(and the rest of me was shaking too, slightly), I tugged on my boots and stumbled out into the hallway, not even caring that I didn't brush my hair or put on any makeup. It was just Vienna and the----Commander, that's all. Yeah, tee-hee. The Commander.  
  
'My son...........built all this?'Allanna asked in awe behind me, as we walked through Esthar Garden. I laughed, it was funny how things that seemed everyday to us could be so different to someone else.  
  
'Yeah, he did,'I replied, thankfully not speaking aloud. Although I think the effect made me slightly cross-eyed; everything seemed to take some time to focus when I was done. The elevator dinged, announcing our arrival to the third floor. My legs felt like this jellyfish that I had once found on the shore of Matron's house(I'd poked it a few times with a stick before she caught me and spanked me, tee-hee). It was, after all, the aftereffect of Allanna's first time in being in an elevator. I couldn't help but notice that a lot of her reactions were my reactions.  
  
Noticing that I was a few minutes late, I knocked once and pushed open the door to Seifer's office(seeing as how I wasn't freely allowed to call him 'the Beast' anymore). He was alone, pacing irritably through his office, when I went in.  
  
I found myself suddenly grabbing the doorjamb in a desperate attempt to keep my body from soaring directly at him and flinging itself in his arms. Sweat broke out on my face at the effort needed to keep Allanna at bay.'ALLANNA!!! STOP!!!! COME ON, YOU'RE NOT IN YOUR BODY!!!!!'  
  
That stopped her---for the time being, at least. I could still feel her longing to hold her son at least once trying to break through my conciousness. This encounter with Allanna was definitely an encounter of the bizarro kind, I could wager you that.  
  
But still, I felt sorry for her. It wasn't her fault that her husband was an ass, and that her son seemed to inhereit his personality solely from him. So, I tried to find physical contact with the Beast(I'd managed to shield that one from her, mind you) to a happy medium for both of us.  
  
"Loire's late,"he growled irritably, and the snap to his voice made Allanna stir uneasily in the back of my mind.'................Hyperion is troubled.'  
  
'It's okay, when Vienna gets here, it'll pass,'I sent back to her, trying to get her to stop stirring like that. My brain already felt like that nasty sand mush I remember Zell making as a kid, and then promptly eating it. That boy would happily eat pond scum if he didn't know what it was, and even then, he might make a go at it.  
  
'Vienna is his lady?'Allanna seemed interested, concerned, and even slightly amused. I think that just made me feel sick. Apparently, Dollet hadn't been so reformed a government for them to have still used ye olde terms during a technological coming-of-age.  
  
'No, a student,'I answered vaguely, wondering if I should poke him. I mean, a poke wasn't exactly a heartfelt gesture of love, but at least it might shut her up for a while.  
  
'He teaches many, my son?'  
  
THAT I didn't know. I gave a mental shrug(whoo-hoo! I was getting good at this!) and cast around blindly for an answer.'Well...........yeah, I guess you could say that.'Hey, teaching kids how to run the other way when he headed in their direction still counted as teaching them SOMETHING! ............Didn't it?  
  
"She'll be here soon, sir,"I said aloud, and he turned slowly to me. I saw it now, the stupid little details I couldn't see before. I had to grab onto the doorjamb again for support as Allanna practically sent me swooning at the sight of her son.  
  
'He's quite handsome, isn't he? Oh, to see my son grow up to be such a fine young man............'  
  
I nearly choked on that, while the other part of me fought to stay upright. This Allanna business sure was getting out of hand, fast.'Jeez, Allanna! Faint over him later, I'VE got to maintain some dignity!!!'  
  
'Very well,'she mumbled irritably, and let me have my peace. Once again, I felt like it wasn't going to last.  
  
Seifer's eyes narrowed, if only slightly."What's your problem, Tilmitt? I mean, if you fell over, it would be funny and all, but..............."THAT was even more confusing then anything that had happened so far with Allanna."...............You all right?"It wasn't quite concern, but it wasn't quite the flat monotone that I'd become accustomed to. It was something in between, I guess.  
  
I shrugged, trying to shake Allanna's presence out of my head. Then, just to make her happy, I went up and laid a hand on his arm."........I'm alright, tee-hee."A slightly embarrassed laugh, that quickly faded into a frown."But, something's been bothering me."  
  
Allanna's exultation at being able to have a hand on her son at last was combined with her restlessness at the sight of the look that appeared on Seifer's face. It was........an almost pained look, if he could be said to have any emotion at all."...............That,"he said flatly."I shouldn't have told you."  
  
I'd been expecting something like that.'My dear, sweet Hyperion, how I wish it would not trouble you so,'Allanna murmured mournfully. I wanted to find some way to kick her out of my head. But, a kick in the head would probably hurt just me, and do little to remove HER. Her constant sympathy for the only person I had ever truly hated was eating at my brain.  
  
Because in a way, I was starting to feel sorry for him, too. The thought made me laugh at how much he would hate that. Finally, I spoke."Well, you did tell me, hee hee."I forced a smile, and found that for once, it wasn't too hard to do so."So now I know. But I want you to tell me something. If you knew, than why haven't you done anything about it?"  
  
This was something I had been thinking of all night, staring up at him while he slept and trying to figure out what the hell had just happened. That is, before I fell asleep and had that dream............... Something I had been thinking of..........  
  
"............You could be king............."I said slowly, looking up at him and trying to gauge his reaction. But Seifer just looked like this wasn't any new news or anything.  
  
"You think I haven't thought of that already, Tilmitt?!"His voice reminded me of the waves breaking on the rocks at Matron's house before a storm, and he thoroughly WRENCHED his arm out of my grasp before resuming his pacing, now more vexated than ever. At his sudden outburst, Allanna recoiled in the recesses of my mind, and I did, too. But for once, it wasn't just because she did."You think I'm as stupid as you, and haven't thought of that?!"Well, THAT hurt."Well, I have. And I'll tell you what I think. I don't WANT a stupid crown. I couldn't give a damn WHAT Dollet does with their Parliament and their army! Everything I get, I get it for a reason, and that's that!"  
  
(So,)I thought to myself, and probably to Allanna, too,(that was it. He doesn't want it handed to him on a silver platter. Well, I suppose he'd be just as happy creating an army and flattening the whole area as he would be by having it be handed to him without any ado.)  
  
'So, you have underestimated Hyperion,'mused Allanna.'I am afeared we all have.'  
  
'What do you mean?'I sent back, glad that I caught on really quickly to this telepathy thing. True, calling on the GFs for help wasn't much different, but........  
  
Oh, no! What if I started losing more of my memory because of Allanna, too?! No! I couldn't let that happen, not after I'd worked so hard to keep ahold of the few memories I did have!  
  
'I mean to say that we thought he would simply bring Palan'de'leiya back from the dead,'the empress replied.'But it seems he will do quite the opposite, and leave it in ruin.'  
  
(Just as well), I thought, keeping that one hidden from Allanna.(He's already full enough of himself as it is, without him being a king to boot.)  
  
"All right, all right,"I said quietly, still feeling a sting of hurt that I had been dubbed 'stupid'. Truly, this was what our hate had come to. But I couldn't leave the idea alone. I wanted to KNOW. I mean, I knew what Allanna had told me, but.........well, I wanted to know what HE thought of it all. After all, the future of Palan'de'leiya now rested solely with him, the last of it's blood. So, I tried again.".....................Will you tell me?"  
  
As it had so often before, the look of surprise faded just as quickly from his face as it had came, leaving me wondering if it had been there."Tell you what?"Now he was just wary.  
  
"...........About...........you know."I gave an uneasy shrug."............About---the Dollet Empire."I had almost ended up saying 'Palan'de'leiya', which wasn't very good if I was going to keep trying to hide the fact that I knew most of the history already. I wasn't very good at hiding things. Once, I stole Headmaster Cid's favorite tie and tried to hide it from him, but in the end I just ended up parading around the house with it tied around my head like a bandana, and everyone found out, anyway.  
  
The wary look still remained."Later, Tilmitt, later,"was all he said, just as Vienna came bursting in the office, bright red and panting heavily.  
  
"Suh...........sorry.............sir!"she managed after a time, standing upright and saluting."They locked me in the...............trash can................"Her face grew even redder, and I knew it wasn't from exertion. I felt a stab of pity for Vienna; I knew that most of the other girls in our class didn't think much of her, especially now that she was getting special training from 'the-oh-so-dreamy-Sir-Seifer' himself. Vaguely, I tried to ignore the banana peel that was flopping out of her hair.  
  
'That is the Vienna you spoke of? She seems to lack a proper sense of authority.'  
  
'Oh, shut up,'I muttered back to her.'Vienna's a good kid; it's not her fault the rest of them are mean to her. She just doesn't like fighting.'  
  
'That is good,'admitted Allanna.'For the day she loves to use her gunblade will be the day she should throw it away. She is wiser than most humans.'  
  
"No matter,"said Seifer idly, taking a seat as his desk. The same desk where he and that blonde receptionist..........oh, yuck!  
  
'What of Hyperion and one of his underlings?'Allanna's usually dry tone now helt a hint of anger. I jumped from where I was standing and was given odd looks by both Vienna and Seifer himself.  
  
'Uh......nothing. She, uh.........spilled his coffee over his desk one day, and, uh...............'The whole time, I was staring at the steaming mug of my favorite beverage in the world on the very same desk where......... NO!!!!!!!!!! BY HYNE, I WOULDN'T THINK MORE OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
'Well, Bella, coffee does have a rather strong odor to it. And it leaves quite a nasty stain. But why think of it now?'  
  
'Erm, I like coffee. But whoever brewed that pot must've pissed in it, too. It tasted pretty foul.'  
  
I suddenly remembered that those weren't exactly the type of words you spoke to an empress. However, Allanna's roaring laughter soon filled my head.'Bella, you are a strange one, I think! I shall gain much from this encounter, and I do not mean just by the ways of my son.'Her voice suddenly grew sad.'I feel as though this will make the shadow of Nemeris almost seem worth it.'  
  
"Loire, it's about your training."I fled from Allanna and back to reality at the sound of Seifer's voice. I could feel my eyes uncrossing themselves. Thankfully, no one noticed.  
  
"Y-Yes, sir?"  
  
"................I'm discontinuing it."Vienna's face looked as though she had suddenly been hit by one of those buses in Deling City.  
  
"Why, sir?! I know that I did badly during our first session, but I'll learn, I promise! Please, sir! I only want Father to be proud of me!"  
  
Seifer was shaking his head; I knew that nothing got to that man."You will, Loire, don't worry. Just not with a gunblade. You're going under Tilmitt for specialized training."  
  
I knew that I must've gotten the hit-by-Deling-bus look, too."Sir?! I don't know a thing about gunblades, and---"  
  
"Of course you do,"he cut me off."I've seen you with the Hyperion. But that's not the point. Loire, you're not made for a gunblade. You're too fast; you should've chose a weapon with more flexibility. So, I'm suggesting that change your weapon of choice to nunchaku."  
  
'..............Hyperion................?'Allanna stirred in the innermost depths of my head, and I hastened to make her shut up. I didn't want anyone to see me cross-eyed.  
  
'His gunblade. You know, like the thingy Pyralin had. He called it Hyperion.'  
  
'Hmmm............that is most interesting, don't you think? I shall dwell on this.'Thankfully, she left my head to dwell on it alone.  
  
"V-Very well, sir."Vienna looked as though she wanted to argue with him some more, but thought better of it. She knew as well as I did that trying to argue with Seifer once he had his mind made up was like trying to pull a brick from a wall with only your fingernails. Oh, I tried once before, when Irvine told me he had hidden my favorite doll behind the stone. I peeled all my fingernails off that way, so I didn't have anything to claw him with when Matron produced Mrs. Tinkets."May I be excused, sir?"  
  
A curt nod, still with a wary look on his face."...........Yeah, dismissed. I'll set you up with Tilmitt for private lessons."Vienna sighed heavily and departed, her mind still clearly on the Nemeris.  
  
But I had known that Seifer was right. Maybe not about the nunchaku part, but certainly about the Nemeris. I'd seen it, during that first training session. I only hoped that she would end up all right with the nunchaku. I wanted Sir Laguna to be proud of her, too.  
  
"Now, Tilmitt."I'd just been about to leave, Hyne blast him. I had class in ten minutes.  
  
"Sir?"  
  
"I've been thinking on something. Yesterday. At the training center. You've got a swordswoman's grace, a sharp eye, and a keen sense of what hurts the most. A natural if I ever saw one, Tilmitt. A natural gunblade master---or I should say mistress, rather. A damn natural. That's why, you're gonna start training with me."  
  
Like when I'd found out that he was a king, some noise I couldn't quite count as anything in particular made it's way past the sudden lump that had built up in my throat. No way could he mean this. I mean, I'd fought with nunchaku my WHOLE LIFE. And now, I'm just suddenly supposed to drop everything and learn something new? I was NOT about to make a total ass out of myself---and least of all in front of him.  
  
Once the grunt-squeak-caw noise that I made had escaped my lips, and the Blobra that had made it's way into my windpipe passed, I opened my mouth to protest.  
  
"It's not a request,"Seifer cut me off, Hyne blast him again."An order. An order from your superior."  
  
WELL, DAMN, AGAIN! I HATED THAT STUPID 'ORDER-BY-SUPERIOR' THING! I WANTED TO SHOOT IT, I WANTED TO MURDER IT, I WANTED TO FEED IT TO A MALBORO PIECE BY LOUSY, STINKING, CARRION PIECE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
"................Okay, sir,"I said, putting on a bright smile. At least I was good at pretending I was always happy. Of course, I hadn't been pretending until I joined this stupid Esthar Garden---  
  
"Too bad it cuts into your frees, but you've got one left for grading and planning. We'll take over Loire's training time, first thing in the morning. I'll send her to you during your last free, at the end of the day. At least you can eat lunch in piece."  
  
My teeth ground audibly, I knew it. I was suprised that no one in the room heard. Lucky, was more like it. "Of course, sir. Thank you, sir."  
  
I'd been about to walk away AGAIN, when he called me back. Thrice- accursed man. I hoped Hyne would strike him dead on the spot."Tilmitt."All thoughts of cursing him vanished when I saw the look on Seifer's face. Not pained, not irritated(wow! there was a first for everything), not wary. Tired. No, not even tired, beyond that. Haggard, I think would be the best world. Yeah, haggard."Today. At the end of the day, we'll walk. And I'll tell you. About the Dollet Empire. And me."  
  
I gripped the doorjamb again; Allanna had tried to cross the room to her son and engulf him in a huge hug. I really didn't need that, now."...........All right, sir."Without even waiting for him to dismiss me, I beat a hasty retreat, closing the door behind me then leaning up against it. I felt Allanna reappear in my mind again.  
  
'.....................Well, the tables have turned. It seems that Hyperion is troubling YOU.'  
  
'Yeah, well............oh, jeez, Allanna! I don't need this.'I cast around for a different topic.'Erm..............how exactly did you.................GET here, Allanna?'  
  
I could feel her puzzlement, like giant question marks flashing through my brain.'In what sense do you mean, 'get here'?'  
  
'Well..............you said that you'd be banished to Nemeris if anyone found out what you'd done. But HOW did you get inside of my head? How'd you make me have that dream?'  
  
She seemed surprised.'You yourself allowed me posession of your mind, to see my son again. However, I had waited many long years for the one chance I had................ Bella, you are a canidate for sorceress embodiment. The ways in which I entered your dream were rather simple, like the sorceress ways of posession. However, because I am long dead in this world, it is not total posession, and I required your permission for even this small allowance. Bella, it was you who was the trigger, so to speak. I did not send you a dream of Palan'de'leiya, you dreamed of it on your own. And because your dream dealt with the history that was mine, I was able leave the Place Between the Worlds and enter your thoughts.'She paused.'You have regrets, Bella?'  
  
No, but I had a helluva a lot of other things! I was a CANIDATE FOR SORCERESS EMBODIMENT?!?!?! NO WAY!!!!!!!!!!!! I COULDN'T BE!!!!!!!!!!! I WAS NO SORCERESS; THAT WAS RINOA, SHE---!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
I couldn't think right now. WHY WAS ALL THIS HAPPENING TO ME?!?!?! IT WOULD'VE NEVER HAPPENED IF SQUALL HADN'T GIVEN ME THIS STUPID MISSION, AND I'D JUST STAYED IN BALAMB LIKE A NORMAL, SANE, INTELLEGENT PERSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Of course, so many people had already told me that I was none of those things. Zell, for one. Seifer, for another. But then again, something else occured to me. All of this started just because I couldn't let go of the fact that I'd been made a fool of in front of the wife of the mayor of a small pacifist community in the middle of the ocean.  
  
'No, Allanna. But I wish I wasn't here.'  
  
'You have somewhere else to be?'  
  
'Yeah, back over in Balamb.'A pause.'I'm sure you know Balamb. It's where you met Headmaster Cid and Matron---or more correctly, Sorceress Edea. They did build their Garden, so you know. I'm a student there---or was, rather.'  
  
'Ah...............so I had guessed. You DID know Hyperion.'  
  
'Yeah..............'I gave a restless mental shrug.'I grew up with him. But we don't really remember a lot about it.'Omitting the constant hair- pulling and name-calling that I DID remember, that is.  
  
This had to be a dream. A freaky, sick, twisted................. No, okay, it was definitely too WEIRD to be a dream. Kinda like the thing with Sir Laguna, and HE was real. But this couldn't be the past, so.........maybe it was the future? OH, NO!!!!! YOU MEAN, I HAD TO PUT UP WITH THIS INSANITY NOT JUST ONCE, BUT TWICE?!?!?!?!  
  
Okay, so the thing with Allanna definitely WAS an encounter of the bizarro kind.  
  
I tried to sum up what had happened so far. I'd gone to Esthar under Squall's orders, trying to find out who was funding Esthar Garden and what exactly their plans were. Became an instructor. Ended up with Seifer trailing me around like a D-District warden because I'd made a careless, retarded mistake. Lots of strange, strange happenings. Get eye-popped and mentally undressed by a bunch of sick, old perverts at a dinner in Esthar. Have a run-in with a raging lesbian(now THAT was interesting, mind you). Started training Vienna Casanova, who is actually Vienna Loire in disguise, Sir Laguna's daughter. Discover that none other than Seifer Almasy himself is the last emperor of Dollet. Have his psycho, Nemeris-bound mother, Allanna, inhabit my brain so she can see the thing she died for. Am supposed to start training with a gunblade, something I have never worked with IN MY LIFE. Also supposed to give Vienna private nunchaku lessons, along with basic combat skills for Mira's quarterstaff class, which gives me no more free periods.  
  
Oh, my. I almost wished that my head WOULD explode, just so I could be free from this madness. I really needed a vacation.  
  
Then came Allanna's voice, calm and reassuring in my mind.'Do not fear, Bella. All will right itself in due course.'  
  
Easy for HER to say. But then again, she was about to be banished to the underworld just to see a son who wasn't really worth the view, if you know what I mean.  
  
I uncrossed my eyes(Hyne, I would have to get this mental speech thing down WITHOUT looking like a drooling, bumbling idiot while doing so) and headed to the elevator.  
  
It's a pretty bad thing when you're an instructor, and you're late for your own class.  
  
  
  
**************************************************************************** *************************  
  
  
  
"..............And so, Mog finally gained his wings, and was able to fly at last,"I finished in a monotone, putting down my book and staring blandly at the already-sleeping group of junior classmen on the floor. Garden admitted students at the age of five, and every single one of them just HAD to be in my class. Well, I think I was the only instructor who could STAND having so many children around me at once. The rest of them were kinda stiff, if you get my drift.  
  
The senior classmen who came in and collected the younger ones entered just as soon as I had put my book down, wiping finger paint off of my face where they had splattered it. Collecting all the mess together into a heavy load in my arms, I went to stand up.  
  
And fell back down again, as I realized those little rats had Super-Glued my butt to the classroom floor. OH, HYNE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Thankfully, Vienna came in just as I was about to yell for a little help, and we managed to unstick myself. However, my skirt ripped open fully at the seat, leaving a nice big hole. I mean, it was one of those TV-sized holes, where your whole butt and kitty-cat printed underwear showed right through. Growling irritably, I slammed the door shut and locked it automatically with my ID card. I saw Vienna trying to hide giggles, but that was okay. It would be even worse if one of my other students walked in here, especially a GUY student. Except for Fearo; he was gay, so it didn't really matter.  
  
Anyway, I set about teaching Vienna the ways of the nunchaku. I gave her some Flail to start out, it was a basic weapon that could still cause quite a bit of damage. My own weapon at first, too.  
  
At first swing, I could tell that Seifer had been right. She WAS built for nunchaku. I'd always had a slow speed stat, so some things didn't come quite as fluidly to me, but Vienna was where I had been after my first WEEK of training on her first DAY! She'd be quite a master, I could tell you that. Better than me, definitely. I began to wonder if maybe another weapon WOULD be good for me. Not a gunblade, most certainly no, but maybe something else? A whip? Quisty wasn't very fast, either. Or a gun? Projectile weapons? Zan? Quarterstaff? Oh, ANYTHING but a gunblade!  
  
"Did I do well, Instructor?"Vienna asked me eagerly when we'd finished, panting a bit and putting away her Flail. I smiled, and meant it.  
  
"Best I've seen in a while,"I told her proudly. That much was true. Most kids in my specialized combat class could barely tell one end of their nunchaku from the other. Vienna positively glowed.  
  
"Thanks, Instructor!"She waved hurriedly and headed for the door."I've got some friends to meet out on the Quad, I don't want to be late!"  
  
I was about to yell after her to bring me an extra skirt if she could spare it, but she was already out of the door by then. Which was just as well, I suppose. Truthfully, I was glad to hear that she had finally made some friends, and I wouldn't want them to be mad at her if she was late. Also, even though she might try to hold it back, the prospect of new friends might be too great, that she might end up blabbing about my little 'incident' to all of them.  
  
As soon as she left, I locked the door again, deciding to wait until after curfew to slip back and maintain my dignity. However, I had forgotten one minor detail. The Beast.  
  
I heard footsteps not long after Vienna had left, someone slammed into the door, there was a muffled curse, then a few computerized beeps, then the electronic swish of the door being opened.  
  
I squeaked and managed to turn so I was facing the door, and that my hole- ridden skirt was facing the back wall. Seifer strode in like he owned the place(whoops, bad analogy, considering as how he DID own the place), despite one hand being held up to his now-bruised forehead."Damn electronic locks, should've never---"He stopped his frenzied muttering and turned to me. I shifted again, so my back was away from him."Well, you're here."  
  
I paused; waited for the traditional line. Yup, there it was!"...............Tilmitt. Walk with me."  
  
(Slight problem with that, sir),I thought to myself.(Seeing as how half of my skirt had been reduced to tatters and my ass is hanging out of those tatters, I don't think it would be appropriate---)"Sorry, sir, but I'm really busy right now, and---"  
  
"Training with Loire's over; I saw her heading towards the Quad."Again, that ever-so-slight narrowing of the eyes."...............Tilmitt, walk with me."He started towards me, I turned again so I was facing him directly. This time, the narrowing of his eyes was visible. He tried another direction, I turned. By now, my face was the color of a sunburned Red Bat.  
  
"Turn around, Tilmitt."A pause.".............NOW..............."  
  
It was like the 'or else', meant to drive fear into the hearts of men, and working brilliantly. Feeling as though I had swallowed my tongue, I shook my head. The Blobra that had been in my throat earlier was back, even more large and engorged than ever. And, just when I thought I had gotten rid of her, Allanna was back, stirring up trouble in the recesses of my subconciousness.  
  
"No?"I was surprised to see a smirk creep up the Beast's face. A smirk that boded nothing but ill for me, I wagered."Well then, there's gotta be a reason, doesn't there? Come on, Tilmitt, what're you hiding?"  
  
"Nothing,"I said, managing to sound unsuspiciously indignant. It was only half a lie, I guess. In truth, I was hiding my exposed underwear from him, but I was positive that it was nothing he'd particularly care about.  
  
"Nothing? I doubt that."And there was Allanna again, flitting around restlessly at the tone of Seifer's voice. I just wanted to grab my Strange Vision and hit them all.  
  
So, he started trying to get around me, and I kept jumping out of the way so I was always facing him. It was actually kinda funny, watching his face go from tan, to red, to almost purple as his irritation grew.  
  
But aught went amiss. The next time I dodged him to go around him, he stuck his foot out as quick as you please, and tripped me up, flat on my face! Well, it was all over, now. I dropped my head down onto the floor, defeated, and gave a huge moan into the carpet. My life was over. By tomorrow, everyone would start calling me 'Instructor Blow-Out' or 'Butt-sy Tilmitt', or something like that.  
  
Oh, Hyne, even ALLANNA was laughing at me, sounding like a hundred bees buzzing through my head.  
  
"H-Hyne, T-Tilmitt, what h-happened?"Seifer's voice was shaking as he fought to contain his outright laughter. I flopped over angrily and glared up at him. A full-fledged grin was on his face, but at least he wasn't laughing openly, although the telltale shake of his voice and his shoulders told me clearly how much he wanted to.  
  
"Laugh it up, you know you want to!"I said peevishly, sitting up and trying to straighten out my uniform---or what was left of it, at least."Your stupid junior classmen Super-Glued me to the floor, and my skirt ripped trying to get up!"  
  
He laughed, great booming laughter in his baritone voice that vaguely echoed his mother's inside of my mind. Seizing one of the children's building blocks, I heaved it at him as hard as I could. Still shaking all over with laughter, he caught it without effort. Being thoroughly cheated of my sport, I stood up in a rage and went to go.  
  
"W-Wait!"he called after me, positively wheezing. WHEEZING he was, that great ugly lout! I'd like to see HIM Super-Glued to the floor---hey, wait! The glimmers of a plan began to form in my mind, of the perfect revenge."Y- You can't g-go out there l-like THAT................"  
  
"Well, why not?"I demanded, my nostrils flaring."Since YOU'RE going to have informed the whole Garden by tomorrow about what those little weasels did, I might as well let them have a sight with their OWN eyes---"  
  
Laughter convulsed him once again, but he freed a hand from clutching his stomach to wave me back."D-Don't..........j-jeez, T- Tilmitt............."After a few minutes, he managed to put on a straight voice, though his voice was quite steady yet, and there was a tic to the corners of his mouth.  
  
'Well done, Bella, in amusing Hyperion,'commented Allanna, a tone of satisfaction in her voice. I didn't know which one I wanted to hit more, Allanna or her son.'Something tells me he has little to laugh at, these days.'  
  
'Oh, who cares?!'I growled back, crossing my arms across my chest and uncrossing my eyes.  
  
"Okay, okay,"said Seifer finally, though he sounded a bit out of breath. Then, to my most ultimate surprise, he shrugged himself out of his coat and slung it over me, still twitching slightly and trying not to grin. However, he was so tall, that whereas it only fell to his calves, on me, it brushed the ground. AND the sleeves were too big, practically flopping off of my arms. I probably looked like a walking circus tent, but at least I didn't look like a walking porn advertisement, now.  
  
The flaming sword of Palan'de'leiya caught my eye, and I held my arm out in front of me, brushing it slightly with my fingertips. I wondered why a sword, a FLAMING sword, nonetheless, would be the signature of the paladins.  
  
"I said we'd walk."The last emperor still sounded a bit too amused for my liking."And that I'd tell you all about that."A twitch."But then again, I wasn't exactly counting on you to get glued to the floor, either.........."  
  
(Just you wait!)I thought viciously.(I'LL be the one who's twitching last, believe you me!)Wait. Maybe that wasn't exactly the thing to say. But I couldn't say 'laughing last', because he wasn't laughing anymore. Oh, whatever!  
  
'You speak too often to yourself, Bella,'spoke up Allanna in my mind.'Perhaps you should say something to my son...............he looks rather forlorn.'  
  
'Oh, go away, Allanna! PLEASE, can't I just have one night of peace?!'  
  
'...............Perhaps. But only if you will put aside this grudge you have against my son.'A mental pause.'For tonight, at least.'  
  
'Fine,'I allowed, grudgingly(tee-hee!).'Just get outta my head, will ya?!'  
  
It worked; she retreated. Remembering what mental speech did to me, I hurriedly slid a glance over to Seifer to make sure that he hadn't noticed how my eyes had crossed. No; he was staring fixedly at his coat like he wanted it back."Erm...........you wanted to walk?"I pointed out, and he shook it off.  
  
"........Yeah. Let's go."We headed out of the door. Accusing glares from female students and knowing smirks from male students greeted us as soon as they saw that we were walking out of the door together. I shifted uncomfortably under their stares.  
  
"Can we---can we go somewhere OUTSIDE of Garden?"I asked slowly."I don't think I like the looks those girls over there are giving me.............."  
  
Ordinarily, he would have laughed, but I could tell there was a lot on his mind.".........Yeah, alright.......... We'll take a walk out to the train station."  
  
Passing through the halls, I didn't say a single word until we were out of Garden. I had thought that we had planned to walk, but we ended up taking a Garden car instead. It was still an hour-long drive to the train station, probably a five-day walk. So I guess we shouldn't have walked, tee- hee.  
  
The steady hum of the car was driving me insane. I wanted to turn on the radio and break the tension that seemed to have surfaced from out of nowhere. It was like that toad Irvine had put in Quisty's bathtub as a kid-- -it just lay there, ready to spring as soon as she stepped into the water. I just hoped that when it did, I wouldn't end up slipping and cracking my head open like she did.  
  
Still, I couldn't exactly demand an explanation out of him. Seifer seemed to be struggling for a way to begin as it was. After some time, he finally spoke.  
  
"...................My father was Cecilanius Lionors Merielleia Averyostar Shelanda Yearless,"he started, and I knew it just wasn't caution that made him keep his eyes focused so intently on the road ahead of him as he drove,"and my mother was Allanna Lionors Merielleia Averyostar Shelanda Yearless, even though she was more often than not called Allana le Angelo de Veritate. The Angel of Truth in Centra, you know. I could trace you my whole lineage back up to Pyralin himself, but it's history you should know. I remember being taught it as a teenager, back at Balamb."  
  
He grimaced at the memory, then went on."The paladins were formed during the age First Golden Age, around 400 FGA, I think. Even then, 'paladins' weren't their real names. They were actually called 'pala'de'lins', shortened to 'paladins'. Pala'de'lin means 'king of swords' in Centra. They were blademasters, but also skilled in other forms of warfare. Pyralin's favorite thing to do would be to coat his sword in oil and set it ablaze before he went into battle. That's what his name means, 'fire sword'. And that's why the insignia of both the paladins and the Dolletian royal house is a flaming sword."  
  
Seifer laughed bitterly, still not taking his eyes from the road. Which I guessed I should have thanked Hyne for, at least he wasn't on a suicide trip..........yet."I tried to do the same thing, but all I could come up with were my Limit Breaks. I guess Fire Cross came close, but............."He shrugged offhandedly."My own shortcomings aren't the point though, are they? I'm supposed to tell you about Dollet."  
  
A pause."Well, it was called Palan'de'leiya, actually---the Kingdom of the Light. Controlled most of the world until Esthar's rise. Even 400 years ago, they still had the most advanced technology you'd ever seen, and even 400 years ago, they still fought under a sorceress. Should've crushed the whole Dollet Empire, but they were stronger than anyone thought. And with the paladins riding at their side, why shouldn't they have been?"  
  
He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel thoughtfully."Palan'de'leiya didn't fall until the old king died, and Pyralin died not long after that. The old king(Mandear was his name, I think) fell in battle, and when Pyralin went to avenge his death, he was slain by a sorceress. Well, it didn't FALL, exactly.......... I guess you could just say that it was a bit of tough times for Dollet. The only heir left was an infant. Others wanted to seize the throne, but Pyralin's widow(Chevresdegould, 'hair of gold', she was called) and the paladins managed to help the kid hold claim to his birthright."  
  
More silence, even longer than before."Things were pretty peaceful after that, for 350 years. Then came the mess with my father."  
  
His tone had turned bitter. I was glad that Allanna wasn't around to hear."A tyrant if there ever was one, you know. I'm sure you've read of him, and what Dollet did to him. Shot him(at least he had a painless death, even if what they did after he died was a particularly heinous), put his head on a pike, and basically ripped him limb from accursed limb. Would've killed mother, too. Not for any reason, of course."  
  
This time, there was no mistaking it. A look of sharpened pain came across his face."Not any reason except for me."  
  
Sharpened pain, that was the only way I could think of to describe it. I mean, his face looked pretty pissed off, but he had the look of a griever in his eyes. And I'm not talking about the GF, either. Almost as if he was afraid he'd never start again if he stopped right there, Seifer went on."People wanted to be a free land, again. They didn't want another emperor, who'd end up to be like my father. That's why they tried to kill Mother---because they wanted to kill me."  
  
A harsh laugh, almost like a bark, escaped from him."Maybe I should have let them. Maybe Mother should have let them. All I'm stuck with now is a crown I don't want."  
  
"Erm............."I frowned, not quite wanting to meet his eyes."What about your parents?"  
  
"I told you, didn't I?! They're both dead! They killed my father, and Mother died of a fever not long after she had me."I think I picked a bad subject to bring up."............My father was a jerk, a real asshole. A lot like me, I'll wager. The people loved my mother, but all I saw was a coward who was too afraid to stand up to him and make him stop, and I'm not sure who I hate more, him or her................."  
  
Those words hit me like the time I went skinny dipping off the coast of the Bika snowfields in Trabia and first hit the water. He couldn't mean that, could he? I mean, after what his mother did to SAVE him? No, wait. Of course he meant it. This guy was always serious, like Squall.  
  
(Poor Allanna), I thought, and I was as surprised as anyone else would have been to find tears welling up in my eyes.(She has no idea.)  
  
"Well, my mother got me to Cid and Edea. It was actually Matron who told me the truth, when I was five."Another laugh that was more like a bark."Only five! It was my first day at Garden; you little kids were a year younger than me and Quistis, and she wouldn't be five for another two months, so it was just me. The only time in my life I've ever been scared, I'll admit that now. I don't like people, and there were too many around. So Matron noticed, and told me the truth, about my real name and heritage. And she said that if anyone ever tried to make me feel like I was less than what I was, then to remember that I was a king, even if I was a king only to myself."  
  
That made me want to cry even more."What's your problem?"He had caught my expression. I swallowed hard. NO! I wouldn't feel sorry for him! I WOULDN'T!!!  
  
But I made a vow to always be light-hearted around him, starting today. It was something I did for everyone else, to make them feel better."Nothing, tee-hee."I put on my biggest smile yet."Well, you're a king, now. As much as I'd like to hurl a brick at your face or something like that, I suppose I can't."  
  
Seifer's eyes were back on the road, still staring darkly ahead, like he wanted lightning to come down from the heavens and strike whatever lay up ahead. Which would actually happen to be the train station, by the way. I could see it's lights up ahead, through the darkness.  
  
We stopped, got out of the car, and stood facing one another. I managed to hold his stare evenly from over the car roof, even though my head barely reached the top of it, and his towered nearly as high as the radio antenna. I thought for a minute that he was going to say something, but then he headed for the ticket booth without a word. Shrugging to myself, I followed him.  
  
There was a pretty girl there, even though I didn't know she was a girl at first. Her short, bowl-cut brown hair and angular face made me think she was a guy. Kinda like Adel, except she wasn't nearly as hideous looking. She wore a button-up man's dress shirt that was halfway unbuttoned, showing off a camoflauge tank top underneath. Hyne, even her CLOTHES were boyish."Hey, 'Sir Seifer',"she laughed, at seeing him, and put on a mock bow. Her eyes fell on me."Hey, it's you!"  
  
"Do I..........know you?"I asked, not wanting to sound rude, but wanting to know at the same time.  
  
"Hello, Aeiz,"mumbled Seifer, still looking distracted. I frowned. Aeiz........that sounded awfully familiar........  
  
"Are you sure this cutie doesn't swing that way, man?"the girl whom I took to be called Aeiz asked of him, tilting her head at me consideringly. She put on a face of mock pitifulness."It gets so LONELY out here, being a ticket saleswoman and all............."  
  
My eyes enlarged themself enough to be nearly to the point of popping out of my head. THIS was the lesbian chick!!! Oh, Hyne!"I---You're---what?"  
  
Aeiz nearly rolled on the ground in mirth at my reaction, and even Seifer managed a small laugh, giving a partly rueful grin and shaking his head, but still not looking up from the ground. My shock turned to suspicion. Maybe this was just a running joke the two of them had going, or something."Hey..................are you SURE you're...........I mean, you're not just kidding me, are you?"  
  
That made Aeiz laugh harder, if that was possible."Yeah, cutie, I dig girls,"she admitted, chortling as if it was the funniest thing in the world."You were sleeping the first time I saw you, but even then, you were still quite a sight to see,"she added, looking me up and down. I felt my face flame up at her scrutiny. She just laughed some more, although not unkindly."It's okay, it's okay. Clearly, I can tell your thoughts don't run like that, and I was just kidding you, anyway. I mean, you ARE cute, but........."  
  
She shrugged."I dunno. I guess I just get my kicks off of pretending to hit on cute little girls, just to see them try to worm their way out of it. It's even better for the ones who don't know I'm a lesbian, mind you. They try to figure out what it is, instead of facing the truth."She chuckled some more."Hyne, it's fun."  
  
I didn't want to admit it, but it sure SOUNDED like fun. I wondered what it was like, being with another girl. NO, WAIT!!!!!! I did NOT just think that!!! Oh, YUCK! Jeez, being in Esthar sure is doing weird things to me!!!!!!!  
  
Thankfully, Aeiz spoke up again, this time on a different subject."Hey, what are you two doing here, anyway? I mean, the last train to the Airstation leaves in ten minutes, but I don't think you intended on going to Esthar."  
  
"Just a drive,"I answered quickly, but not too quickly. I don't even think Seifer was paying attention. He seemed bothered by something that he saw on the ground, tee-hee. That is to say, he was lost in his own thoughts(although once again, the thought of him THINKING was mind- boggling).  
  
Aeiz seemed to consider this."Well, I guess that works,"she said, after a pause."But you should actually be going, now. Station's closing up, and I know that 'Sir Seifer'"---she rolled her eyes at the title---"has to get up early in the morning and chastize you Garden twits."  
  
I grinned, I liked Aeiz already. HYNE, not in THAT sense! But she was funny."Yeah, we should."She was already turning off the lights in the station."It was...........interesting meeting you, Aeiz."  
  
"Yeah, you too. Hey, I didn't catch your name."  
  
"Selphie,"I replied."Selphie Tilmitt."  
  
"Well, you know me. Aeiz Rhiannalla, resident lesbian of Esthar."We laughed at that. Aeiz took the station keys from her pocket and locked up the ticket booth."Well, it's a long drive back to where I live, so I'd best be going. See ya around, Selphie. Later, 'Sir Seifer'."  
  
Aeiz frowned at his lack of response, shrugged, went to walk past me and head to her car, and..........PINCHED MY BUTT! No, I am NOT kidding you! She strolled on by, as casual as you please, then did THAT! Something I'd never let ANYONE do, not even Irvine, when we were dating! Oh, Hyne, this lesbian business was complicated!  
  
I was still standing flabbergasted as she waved, hopped in her car, and drove away, honking the horn at us as she went by. A chill breeze blew by where she had once been, reminding me that we were supposed to be leaving.  
  
I turned slowly and faced Seifer, glad that I was still wearing his coat. For two reasons. Number one, the obvious chill, and the fact that I was cold enough with barely two inches of fabric from my sundress coming down over my legs. Number two, Aeiz. I'm not sure WHAT she would have done if she could see my kitty-cat underwear, not to mention the fact that her little 'pinch'(which was more like a tug, if you know what I mean) would have hurt a heckuva lot more. But that was beside the point.  
  
"Um.........are you ready to go, sir?"I asked, frowning slightly. He hadn't even awknowledged Aeiz while we had talked, nor when she had said goodbye. It was unlike him to be so............quiet.  
  
There was something in his eyes."Yeah, let's get the hell outta here."And somehow, I didn't think he was talking about the train station.  
  
I was just about to climb in the car again when I changed my mind and dove for the driver's seat. Seifer didn't look amused."Look Tilmitt, you said you wanted to go, so---"  
  
"I'll drive, tee-hee,"I said, hoping he didn't think it was a cruel, cruel joke. Besides, I already HAD the perfect plan to get revenge."Hey, I'm not gonna send us into a ditch or anything! There's only one road outta here that goes to Garden, so it's not like I'll get LOST."Well, that was debatable. Once, I got lost on the way back to my own dorm in Balamb.  
  
Seifer seemed to contemplate this for a second. Once again, it was still an odd sight to see. Finally, he relented. I think he guessed about my doubts of his continuing sanity. Heaving a sigh so massive that it seemed as if his whole body would deflate before my very eyes, he crossed to the other side of the car and dropped into the passenger's seat. The odd thing was, he sat sideways, so that he was facing the door, and that his back was to me.  
  
I shrugged it off, figuring that some people had weird riding habits, and turned the key in the ignition. Thinking to turn the radio on, I hastily shut it off when the first song I heard was 'Eyes on Me' by Julia Heartilly, Rinoa's mom. I think I would have LIKED Miss Julia, but I didn't like that song.  
  
There was a sweet, blessed silence for a long time after that. I was tired, and all I really wanted to do was go back to Garden and drop into bed. I'd been driving along for about fifteen minutes when I heard another gargantuan sigh off to my right, and Seifer dropped backwards, stretching out over the expanse of the little red sports car like he wanted to drop off to sleep right then and there.  
  
Only problem with that was, he was using MY lap as a pillow.  
  
The shock caused me to swerve off to the right, nearly hitting an oncoming tree. Muttering a vile oath under my breath, I yanked the steering wheel and got us back safely on the road. I glanced down enough to see that Seifer was watching me. Not glaring at me, or eyeing me, just.........watching. I couldn't think of a better way to say it except for that. There wasn't really an expression on his face. It made me think of the time that Zell and I were in class and he fell asleep with his eyes open, and the only way you could tell that he was asleep was because he was drooling and muttering stuff under his breath. But then again, Zell always was a weird pig.  
  
I drew a few shaky breaths and concentrated on the road. It wouldn't do me any good if I got us killed.  
  
"Hey, Tilmitt,"said Seifer suddenly, out of the darkness. Not wanting to cause a major accident, I pulled over to the side of the road and put the car in park before looking down at him. Once again, that bland stare.  
  
"Hmmm?"I asked, wanting to fold my hands in my lap as was my custom, but not being able to.  
  
"Do you...............remember anything when we were back in Matron's orphanage?"  
  
Now THAT was a startling question. I shook my head, my three strategically-placed curls swinging."No, because of the GFs. I didn't even know Matron was the sorceress until Irvine told us. He hadn't used GFs before he met us, so he still remembered."  
  
A pause. Seifer's eyes weighed, considered."No............come to think of it, neither did I, after I left. So, you got to live in the dark. I had to grow up knowing that my life was a lie."  
  
I didn't know what to say to that. I figured it was maybe one of those monologue things, and that I should just let him say whatever it was he wanted to say. Not like any intellegent conversation was going to come out of my mouth, anyway."My parents being royalty. Hah! ME being royalty, for that fact. As a kid, I thought about it all the time. What I could do to you whining brats because I knew. And even that didn't change as I got older."  
  
Well, that much was true. But I had never thought that his hatred of us had run so deep, back to when we were just kids who probably didn't even know the meaning OF hate."I think, I was just jealous of you all. Because you were living in the dark. If Matron and Cid had told you that they were your parents, you would've believed it. Chickenwuss believed when he said that Mrs. Dincht was his mother."A pause."And what about you, Tilmitt? Where did you go?"  
  
"Up north, tee-hee. Not as north as Trabia, no. But I did live with the Tilmitts near Timber. For a while, at least. Until I applied for Trabia Garden when I was eight."  
  
"Hmmm."Not a speculative 'hmmm' or a thoughtful 'hmmm'. Just what it was; a bland, dry, completely-lacking-in-emotion 'hmmm'."Well, I remember a lot. Too much for my liking, even. I remember that each of you kids were all tied in together, and always seemed to stick together whenever I picked a fight. You formed a circle, a tight one, and I was on the outside. You and Quisty seemed like you wanted to let me in, but the others wouldn't have it."  
  
I was surprised to hear him call his 'DEAR instructor' by her nickname, Quisty."Ellone never liked me very much, either, but she didn't show it."Yet again, one of those laughs that was more like a bark."Of course she didn't. She never showed it. Still, I always wondered about that girl. While the rest of you were busy running to her to be coddled and petted, more often than not I'd find her staring at me from afar, like a puzzle she'd come across and was trying to figure it out. But I knew. I knew about those damn powers she had. I think she must've guessed something about me, something that was different from the rest of you kids. And maybe that's why she never liked me as much as the rest of you. Maybe even not like me at all."  
  
Vaguely, I was aware of the suggestive situation we were in; pulled over on the side of the road with his head in my lap; but I didn't care. Surprisingly, I didn't care.  
  
"Tilmitt, I want to---no, SELPHIE, I want to ask you something. And I want the truth. I'll know if you're lying, of course, that was something Matron always said I had a knack for."  
  
This time my surprise must have been written clearly all over my face. I wondered what he wanted to ask me. It was a bit startling; he had called me by my first name for the first time since we'd met."Well, ask."I successfully managed to keep my voice from being shaky.  
  
"......................If I---If I WERE to take the throne, d'you think it would be...........right?"  
  
WoW. That was a bit discerning, hearing actual anxiety managing to slip itself into Seifer Almasy's voice. But I thought before I gave an answer. The truth was what he wanted, and that was what I'd give.  
  
"I don't know, Seifer,"I said clearly, taking my hands off the steering wheel and facing him squarely."I really don't know. With Dollet at your feet, you could do so many good things, but you could do bad things as well as good. I wouldn't put it past you to do bad things with that sort of power, either."  
  
I blanched at the slightly hurt look that I could just barely place before it darted away. But I had spoke in honestly, after all. Hurriedly, I went on."But what you would do as king isn't what you asked me. You asked if it would be right to take the crown with no effort at all. And you know what I think? I think, that if you did, you would OWE it to those people to be a good king. I think, that it doesn't matter what you HAVE done that decides whether or not that crown should be placed on your head, but rather, what you'll DO with it on there."  
  
And that, was the truth.  
  
"Hmmm."And this time, it was a pensive 'hmmm'.  
  
After that, just came silence. I knew Seifer wasn't asleep; he was still staring up at me, although now like he was trying to figure out what color lip gloss I was wearing, so intently was he scrutinizing my face. I turned my attention out the window, thinking that maybe we should go. Hyne knew how much more exhaustion I could take before I finally collapsed.  
  
I had just been about to start up the car again and go, when Seifer spoke again.  
  
"Selphie.................what do you think of me?"  
  
If his earlier question about the crown hadn't caught me off guard, THIS one certainly had! I nearly fell over with shock. At my startled expression, he grinned openly."I'll tell you what I think of YOU after you're done, I promise."  
  
I chose my words carefully."Well, it's good to see that there's some human left in there, underneath all those layers of sardonic hostility. Truthfully, I don't know WHAT to think of you. Even when you WERE throwing gum down my dress or dragging me along to some boring executive party filled with nothing but lecherous old men, I couldn't bring myself to hate you as much as everyone else did."I laughed, brightly."At least not as much as Zell did, tee-hee. Guys! Why can't you ever get along? And you want to know something else? I think that you're honest, brave, and forthright to your friends. The only problem is, you just don't HAVE enough friends to be able to have everyone else know it. You want more? You're a damned good soldier, even though you overestimate yourself and underestimate others. You've learned maturity ever since you tasted defeat, and I think you want forgiveness, too."  
  
I paused only to take breath before plunging on."You don't let anything get to you even when you should, you're as hardheaded as a mule and sometimes as stupid as one, you're mean to people who you know won't fight back, and you are as cold as ice and hard as steel, and sometimes I wonder if you're even a man."  
  
There. I took a reprieve, deciding just to sit down and see how it would go. I could've said more, a LOT more, but I decided to let it rest at that. I wondered if I'd said too much, because although the grin on Seifer's face was still there, it was an almost DANGEROUS grin. I swallowed hard, waiting for him to explode. Well, I mean, not explode LITERALLY, but do something close enough to that effect.  
  
He laughed, both bitter and rueful at the same time."You've read me like a book, Tilmitt,"he admitted, and I couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or not."Oh, there's more; definitely, there's more, but............."He shook his head."Somehow I don't think you learned all of that from just this past month."He sounded like I'd had informants or something, tee-hee. Well, maybe I should LET him think that. It wouldn't hurt.  
  
"Maybe not,"I replied mysteriously, purposefully averting his gaze. No, there was no mistaking it. This time, a genuine laugh bubbled up in the throat that I had, every day before tonight, so vehemently wanted to strangle.  
  
"Well, a promise is a promise, so...........you want to know what I think of YOU?"  
  
Did I? THAT was dangerous ground to be treading, believe you me."Sure, okay."  
  
He motioned with his hands."Come here. It's a secret."That set me to wondering. It was kinda funny, since he kept looking around like Balamb spies might come bursting out from behind the leather interior at any minute. So, pretending to look around warily, like he had, I bent over him.  
  
"I think that you're a kid who's fascinated me for the longest time. You sound as though you don't give a damn about anything in the world, but then the stupidest thing in the world gets you as fired up as the thought of another Sorceress War. Your motto is 'Peace! Love! And Happiness!', but you've got no inhibitions about heaving wooden blocks roughly the size of my head at me. You complain about lecherous perverts, then I remember that you've dated one. And every day, you've got to be so goddamned cheerful it makes my head want to split."  
  
Like I had done, he paused to take a breath before he went on."You care about others but not yourself. Sometimes you act so dumb I think that you had to have been dropped on your head as a baby, and you make a habit of reinstating the obvious. Not only that, you're a horrible klutz and sometimes I worry about your random acts of schizophrenia. And every time I see you, I don't know whether I want to bash your head into a wall and then run away laughing, or just plain run away."  
  
And then---can you believe this???---he takes my face in his hands and attaches HIS lips to MINE in a grip that would have made a Hyne-accursed MALBORO proud!!!!!!!!!!!!! I made some sort of muffled protest and beat at him uselessly, but to no avail. I might as well have been hitting a rock, for all the good it did. I wouldn't have been surprised if I got bruises from hitting him!  
  
But as I gave up fighting and decided to settle resignedly to my fate, I actually started enjoying myself. Irvine had NEVER kissed me like this. Not that I'd actually LET him, but still! I wouldn't call it passionate, or earth-shaking, or even involving any sort of romantic chemistry at all, but it was interesting nonetheless. He smelled like something nice, but tasted like pork rinds that had gone stale. I know! Pork rinds, for Hyne's sake! Not chocolate, or anything wonderfully sweet and tasty. Pork rinds! Lucky for him, I liked pork rinds.  
  
At the crick that had began to form in my back---it was rather painful, bending over halfway like that---I straightened up and tried to breathe again. It was like all the air had been sucked out of my body. I looked down at the infuriating fool that was Seifer, too see that he was still wearing that stupid grin."And that,"he said, showing all of his teeth as he spoke,"is what I think of you."  
  
I smiled at him quite nicely, then punched him in the eye.  
  
He howled---it was quite interesting to hear that coming out of him---and yelled all sorts of curses, but never made a move to hit me back. I recalled Zell saying once that Seifer didn't believe in hitting girls. I also recalled his anger because Seifer had refused to punch him back after they'd gotten into some sort of fist fight, giving that argument as his cause.  
  
Then, I started up the car resolutely and starting driving again. We didn't say anything on the way back, probably because his eye and my pride were both hurting too badly for words. I glanced down again when we were almost back to Garden, and discovered that he was asleep, head still on my lap. Odious man! Grrr, sometimes I just wanted to THROTTLE him!  
  
I pulled the car into Esthar Garden's parking lot, and shut off the engine. I debated with myself over what to do. I could do the nice thing and wake him up, or I could just leave like I'd never had anything to do with him tonight. What to do, what to do? I now found out what he found so appealing in having people completely and utterly at your mercy. I stared down at his sleeping form, and considered my options.  
  
Sleeping in the Commander's hammock and playing with his Clapper had never been more fun, I decided.  
  
  
  
  
  
AN~Do you get what happened at the end? Tee-hee, so what's next? Is there any hope of a romantic relationship forming out of this? Sorry for the..........abhorring lack of humor in this, people, but I had to cross the boundaries into romance sometime. Somehow, this part isn't as satisfying as parts 1-6. I need to fix that, tee-hee. Also, what about Allanna? You'll find out more about what she's doing in Selphie's head in the next part, LoL. Don't worry, there's still a lot more chapters of this left. Loose ends will be tied up, I promise! Until then! ~tigerofthewind~*is wishing her butt didn't hurt from all this typing* 


	8. Booyaka What?

Hey! I Could Be A Messenger From Hyne, Ya Know!- A Misadventurous Romance Story  
  
Chapter Eight-Booyaka...What?  
  
  
  
AN~Hello, all!*waves cheerily* I'm sitting here listening to 'Roses and Wine', Julia's theme from FF8! Of course, I wanna thank all my reviewers! Oh, another thing! 100th reviewer gets a fanart from me, of anything they want it to be drawn of, LoL! I'll send you an E-mail, and you can tell me what you want! Then(this might take a while, as in weeks) I'll get it scanned and send it to you! Hee! Anyway, this chapter is dedicated to Faerlyte and Firestarter(who somehow is continuing reading this, even though they weren't sure if they like it yet, LoL)! W00T! Come on, we can do it! A hundred reviews, w00t!*cheers crazily* ~tiger~*is cheering*  
  
  
  
I had a nice dream. Strange, but nice. I dreamed that I was married to somebody who's face I couldn't see. And Allanna was alive in this dream, standing off to the side with her arm in Seifer's, and he was grinning for once, instead of grimacing.  
  
All the people from Balamb were there, too. Squall, Rinny, Quisty, Irvy, Zell, all of them. And Matron and Headmaster Cid, Doctor Kadowaki, and a whole bunch of other people I didn't know. It was my wedding day, at the old seaside house where Matron had her orphanage. Good ol' Elle was there, too, and she was smiling at me with all of her white SeeDs flanking her on every side.  
  
But I couldn't see who I was marrying! Grr!!!! If I was going to spend the rest of my life with this guy, I should at least be able to see his face! So I headed up the aisle, holding my bouquet of white roses and smiling all around. Watts and Zone were sitting in some chairs near the front, and Mrs. Dincht wasn't too far from the back, with Rinoa's dad, General Caraway.  
  
Unfortunately, 'Eyes on Me' was playing in the background, which I would have changed if I hadn't known that my future husband had liked it so much. Wait............no way! Sir Laguna liked 'Eyes on Me', because of Miss Julia! You mean that I was gonna marry Sir Laguna!!!!!! Oh, Hyne!!!!!!! My wish had finally came true!!!!!  
  
But before I could get to him, Allanna started from the back towards me, a great smile on her face.  
  
'Bella! Wake up!'  
  
'Hunh?'  
  
'You must hurry!'But she was SMILING at me! Hyne, what was going on?!'Bella, wake up!'  
  
  
  
**************************************************************************** ************  
  
  
  
Kicking around my bedsheets, my eyes popped open just as I was about to see the man of my dreams. I tried to jump to my feet against my will, tangled myself even further, and tripped onto the floor. Even then, I was still struggling.  
  
"Ouch!"Realizing the cause of my predicament, I changed my tune.'Owie, Allanna! Hey, I'm getting up, I'm getting up! Jeez, where's the fire?!'  
  
Allanna allowed me to climb to my feet and survey myself in the mirror. No bumps or anything that I could see. Sheesh, how long was she going to inhabit my head, anyway?! This certainly was tricky business.  
  
My hair was a mess, and my eyes were glazed over in this odd sort of fashion. One side of my face was red from where I'd been sleeping on it, and my clothes from last night were rumpled and disarrayed. Among them was Seifer's trenchcoat, which I'd forgotten to give back to him.  
  
Supressing giggles, I wondered how mad he was when he woke up to find himself locked inside a car. Well, not LOCKED, seeing as how he could easily unlock it from the inside, but you know what I mean.  
  
It was then that Allanna spoke in my head.  
  
'Bella....................Hyperion is gone.'  
  
'What?!'I shrieked at her, straightening up and for once not crossing my eyes. Ordinarily I would have been proud, but there were bigger matters at hand.'Whaddaya mean, 'gone'?!'  
  
'Just what I mean,'she replied calmly, if not a little sadly.'The students cannot find him.'  
  
'But how---?! I mean---! How do you know all this?!'  
  
'I have no need for sleep, Bella. While you dozed, I listened in the corridors. I believe one of them has sent someone to---'  
  
BANG. The door burst open, whereas several instructors and Vienna flowed in, looking rather harried.  
  
"Instructor Tilmitt, the commander is---"  
  
Vienna stopped; took in the coat I was wearing. Raised eyebrows formed amongst the other instructors. I felt myself turning rather red, but I managed to keep cool."I haven't seen him,"I said with as much dignity as I could muster."Not since last night, at least. We went for a drive to the train station to check on some of the students who were commuting from the city, then came back here. I went to bed, and I don't know where he is now."  
  
I knew it looked suspicious from the very start. I was in his room(no one but us knew the real reason for that, I didn't think); I was wearing his coat. I was last seen with him. It was looking pretty bad. So, I tried to take charge before they knew what hit them."Why? I mean, if he's missing, we need to send out a search party right away, and---"  
  
Hee, it worked! They wiped the dumbstruck looks of their faces and started rallying WITH me! Some offered to notify the headmaster that he was in charge, others set about informing other instructors and students, and the rest of them went about getting together some SeeDs for a search party. I just felt very, very, tired.  
  
As the last one whisked away, Vienna was left staring at me. I could tell that she hadn't bought my façade for an instant."Instructor, where IS the commander, really? I mean, if you guys are---that is to say---oh, where IS he, for Hyne's sake?!"  
  
It was the first time I'd ever heard Vienna snap at anyone in her life. Allanna began to rise in furious indignation, but I quelled her with a lot of effort."I told you, Vienna, I haven't seen him."I paused, then went on to tell her the whole truth. Why I was at Esthar, and why I had to be under all that supervision. What had transpired last night(minus the whole 'Seifer-being-king' thing). I forebore to mention Allanna's presence in my mind, too.  
  
Vienna gaped; made a noise."You're---you're a SPY?"  
  
I nodded slowly."I WAS one, at least. I think I've quit, basically. And if anyone back home doesn't know it, I mean to tell them."Well, that was decided. I'd have to send Squall a transmission tonight, or something."But honestly Vienna, I have no idea where Seifer is. And, I think, I'm just as worried as the rest of you. Come on, let's go and find him."  
  
Dropping the coat of the kings of Palan'de'leiya on my bunk, I strode out the door.  
  
Outside was chaos. Students and instructors were running left and right, bumping into each other without a single word of apology. I think I saw the Phoenix GF flash down a hallway before disappearing around a corner.  
  
"HEY!!!!!!!"I shouted to everyone in the hallway; they all stopped and looked at me. Taking a breath, I went on."Come on! We're not getting ANYTHING accomplished here! You know that Headmaster Chanton has already sent out search parties and stuff! You people are all crazy, getting paranoid just because Seifer might've taken a vacation or something! Look, students---get back to class! Instructors, too! Let's try and keep this day as normal as possible, okay?!"  
  
"Instructor T. kicks ass!" and "Class of '18 rocks!" were the only shouts that followed, as students and teachers began to trickle back to their classes. Deep down, I was worried about Seifer. He hadn't seemed to..........well, mentally SOUND the last time I had seen him. Come on! He rattled on about his past like a psychopath, then KISSED me! How crazy is that?!  
  
Myself, Headmaster Chanton had canceled all my classes for the day to give me some time to look, so I headed for Garden's parking lot. Might as well make sure he wasn't just inside of the car and hadn't woken up yet.  
  
The car we'd used last night was empty. I frowned; if he'd gone somewhere, I would have thought that he would have just taken that car, seeing as how he'd already be in it and everything.  
  
I checked the red little Dolletian Mist for clues. I wondered if someone had already gone through and cleaned the cars out. Nope! Success! Crammed into the ignition of the Mist was a folded-up piece of paper that I knew hadn't been there last night. My name('Selphie Tilmitt', not 'messenger girl', hee) was scrawled on the front in hasty but actually quite neat cursive.  
  
Frowning, I turned the envelope over. On the back, holding it shut, was a wax seal, like in the old days. The seal was something I recognized, a flaming sword on a field of white. Allanna mused in the back of my mind.  
  
'I wonder what he used to make the insignia............?'she contemplated.'I know for a certain that not many things bear the flaming sword of Pyralin anymore. Unless..................'She trailed off, leaving me with nothing but a rogue train of thought in my mind. I wondered what she was up to as I broke the wax seal with my fingernails.  
  
Selphie,  
  
I know what you did to me, leaving me here in the car. Whatever, I don't care. Listen, you can't breathe a word of this to anyone. I'm going off for a few days. Where, I can't tell you. But I just figured I'd tell you that I'm alright, like.........I'm not dead or anything. Seeing as how I can't trust those idiots that I call staff to get anything done, I'm leaving you in charge. Not one of my best judgements, seeing as how you'll probably start flipping through all of Garden's confidential shit and rat us out to Balamb, but I don't have much of a choice. Also, I wanted to say sorry. For what I did last night. Look, shut up! I know you're probably laughing your ass off right now, but just shut up! Listen, it was late, and I was just messed up in general, okay?! You punched me; I deserved it. We're even now, got it? I'll be back in a few days, so don't worry(like you would, anyway).  
  
-Seifer Almasy  
  
I stared at his signature for a minute; large and ornate and loopy. A signature of kings, if there ever was one. Okay, so it was taking some time for me to get used to that thought. I wondered what other sort of stuff he had hidden in his head.  
  
Still wearing that Quisty look on my face, I stuffed the letter in the back pockets of my sundress and walked back to my dorm(well, not really MY dorm, but the dorm I was inhabiting, anyway). I wondered what Allanna was doing; I could really use someone to talk to. But when I tried to send a thought out towards her, I didn't get anything. In a lot of ways, Allanna was just as mysterious as her son.  
  
Two other pieces of paper inside of the envelope made me blink and yank them out. The first was some sort of official-looking document, I put it aside for the other paper that had Seifer's now-signature scrawl on it.  
  
This'll make sure that everyone knows who's in charge, with no questions asked. Don't get used to it.  
  
There was no signature this time, and I flipped open the other paper. Basically, it said that I had full control over Garden and was now the running commander until Seifer got back. I wondered, IF he got back?  
  
Staring uneasily at his empty hammock, I decided to go see Headmaster Chanton and give him the letter, so I could at least do something productive with my time, instead of sitting and worrying.  
  
Riding the elevator to the third floor, my thoughts were troubled. Where did Seifer go, so that he couldn't even tell me? Why was he going to be gone for so long, that I had to take control of the Garden?  
  
"Headmaster Chanton?"I asked tentatively, stepping into his office. It was nothing at all like Headmaster Cid's office. He looked up from his desk, his expression brightening. He was a graying man in his early fifties, but still quite nice. I liked him.  
  
"Ah, Miss Tilmitt! Have you any word from the commander?"I shook my head.  
  
"I wouldn't exactly call it 'word',"I said carefully, showing him the letter. Instead of the suspicious questioning that I had predicted, his expression was that of instantaneous relief.  
  
"Oh, thank Hyne,"he breathed deeply, sitting down in his chair with a thump."So many people have been up here already, asking me what to do."  
  
"Headmaster, there isn't a whole lot we CAN do,"I pointed out, pausing in the act of turning towards the door."Let the search parties scour the whole of the Esthar continent, but we've got to worry about the students here. My advice is, tell the instructors and the students to keep on with things like they're normal, until we really have cause to worry."  
  
He instantly seemed bolder at my advice."Bless you, Miss Tilmitt,"he sighed, sitting up straight and resolutely tackling the papers on his desk."We were all running at cross-purposes like chickens with our heads cut off. It's good to know that there's someone stable in charge."He paused for a moment."Don't worry about right now. Things are calming down a bit, and I'll send word out to you if we need you. Until then, dis---"He stopped in the act of saying 'dismissed', as though I was still an underling. I smiled.  
  
"It's okay, you can still dismiss me,"I allowed, laughing."Just don't get too used to it."  
  
I headed back to my dorm, sighing. I guess it was my dorm, after all. Pushing open the door, I stared around as though it was my first time seeing it before in my life. And I guess it was, in a sense. I'd never paid too much attention to it before.  
  
Up in the center, suspended between the column that led to the MD level and the bridge, and between another column on the far side of the room was the hammock, large enough for probably two men. Strewn about atop it were two pillows and a blanket.  
  
The whole room was pretty much a mess, but not that bad of one(Zell's room, by far, had to have been the worst I'd ever seen). Clothes were kicked around here and there, along with some notebooks and paper, but at least there wasn't any month-old food or porn magazines lying around. That I could see, anyway.  
  
Smashed into the left corner was my bed, neatly made. Compared to the rest of the room, it looked very out-of-place. My duffel bag filled with the few changes of clothes I'd been able to carry, and my nunchaku, was sitting next to it.  
  
Off in the upper-right corner was a dresser, and atop it were a dozen or so framed pictures, something I'd never noticed before. Seifer had just never struck me to be the type of person who had sentiments about anything, and if he did, he certainly had never shown them.  
  
The pics were mainly recent stuff, I think. Hardly any of them had him in them, at least. There was the first hundred students who had enrolled in Garden standing in a large group like a class picture and smiling(I'd found captions underneath all the pictures, so I knew what they were of), along with a picture of the first fourteen instructor's he'd hired.  
  
My fingers began tracing the outlines of the frames idly, pausing every now and then to pick one up and study it. I laughed at one clearly taken at Fisherman's Horizon, with Fujin kicking Raijin, Raijin holding up a big fish and trying to rub his injured leg, and Seifer standing off to the side and laughing at the both of them. Up ahead, Balamb Garden was soaring by in the sky.  
  
However, as I reached the last two photos, my breath stopped. The first one was of the most beautiful lady I had ever seen in my entire life, with flowing wavy red hair and pale green eyes like peridots. She had an arm around a tall man with short-clipped blonde hair and pale blue eyes like ice. The man was handsome too, in his own respect, but he seemed to have an air of haughtiness that made me frown slightly. He was keeping a pretty wide berth of the pretty lady and her bulk, for she was clearly pregnant.  
  
I turned the frame over for the caption and gasped.  
  
'Cecilanius Lionors Merielleia Averyostar Shelanda Yearless, Allanna Lionors Merielleia Averyostar Shelanda Yearless, 751 FGA. Long live the Dollet Empire.'  
  
I found myself staring for the first time at Seifer's parents.  
  
I was shouting for Allanna and demanding an explanation before I could even think. And she was there, prickly as a cactus but willing to answer.  
  
'Easy, Bella, there is no need to shout.'There was silence for a long time, before she spoke again.'Yes............that is what I was; I mean, this is a picture of me when I still was clothed in flesh. And next to me was my husband, Cecilanius.'  
  
'Erm..........I don't really have a right to ask this, Allanna, but did you...............did you LOVE Cecilanius? I mean, you had a son, but that doesn't mean---'  
  
'I loved him, Bella, and I loved him well,'Allanna replied simply.'But I did not love what he did.'  
  
'Well, I guess that makes sense.'I frowned; wondered if Allanna could see.'You guys look............HAPPY, in this picture. At least you had that before you died.'I paused, then hurried on.'I'm sorry, I shouldn't talk about you dying so casually---'  
  
Allanna laughed.'Pay it no heed, Bella, for I accepted my fate long before I was sent to the Place Between the Worlds. So, you wish to know why I am here? What I hope to gain by inhabiting another's mind? And, how I got here?'  
  
'You told me. I'm...........a canidate for sorceress embodiment who dreamed about Palan'de'leiya and gave you entry to my mind.'  
  
'Yes, but that is not the whole story. I want to be near my son, to watch him. That much you do know. But inhabiting another's mind as such is forbidden action from the Place Between the Worlds. The Place Between the Worlds is merely where I wait for judgement.'A pause.'Bella, my judgement will be soon. Whether I face Hyne in her Palace of Stars or the Gatekeeper from the blackness of Nemeris, I do not want to have gone without knowing that my death will have been in vain. And now, because I have broken ancient code, the blackness of Nemeris is what awaits me, I am sure.'  
  
'But what if you---'  
  
'Bella, it is all but done.'Allanna's voice took on a bitter tone, and she shouted:'It is DONE, Bella, now leave me be!!!'  
  
When I called out to her again, she didn't answer. I frowned down at the smiling couple on the glossy sheet of printed paper and considered hurling it against a wall, but I didn't think Seifer would like me smashing up his only picture of his parents.  
  
So, I looked at the other one. It was a smiling Matron and Cid, with their hands on the shoulder of a much younger girl than they, holding a tiny baby in her arms. Matron's arms were hampered with the weight of another child, someone I took to be a boy. I flipped it over to read the caption.'Cid and Edea Kramer, 01 SGA. Faeye Lanker and baby, 01 SGA. Balamb.'  
  
Faeye Lanker..........? Heeeeeeeyyyy! The girl who saved Allanna and Seifer! So that must mean that the boy Matron was holding was Seifer! WoW! The day was a constant barrage of surprises!  
  
Vaguely, I replaced the photo and wondered where the Beast could have gone off to. I couldn't say that it wasn't like him to just pack up and leave; he'd been notorious around Balamb Garden for disappearing for days on end; but I did wish that I knew what he was up to. Maybe some more executive stuff in Esthar? But if that was the case, then why couldn't he tell me about it? I dunno, maybe it was just top-secret info or something like that.  
  
Flopping down on my bed(I was too dispirited to even considering lounging in the hammock), I pondered something else. The things that Matron and Cid must have done to keep Seifer's identity a secret from the people who didn't want another Dollet emperor. He got a new name, I knew. I wondered; where did Cid and Matron think that up from?  
  
Wishing that I wasn't mooning around like an overgrown schoolgirl, I whispered his name aloud. Well, ALL of his names, at any rate.  
  
Seifer Lionors Merielleia Averyostar Shelanda Yearless..................  
  
Heeeey, wait! I sat bolt upright and nearly cracked my head on the wall when I just thought of something. Having said Allanna's name to myself more than enough in order to remember it, I had just thought of something.  
  
Allanna. A. Lionors. L. Merielleia. M. Averyostar. A. Shelanda. S. Yearless. Y.  
  
If you were to make an acronym of Allanna's name, it would spell out one word. Almasy.  
  
And that had been how Matron and Cid had picked out Seifer's name.  
  
"Booyaka!"I said aloud, grinning and feeling as though I'd solved the world's biggest mystery, like.........why cheese was square or why Zell ate so much."Booyaka...what?"I frowned. It seemed like a stupid reason to celebrate, now, remembering my current situation. Of course, Seifer had made a huge mistake with that paper, giving me the power to do with Garden as I would. It might actually be the perfect way to get revenge, hee.  
  
Tonight, I'd send out a transmission to Squall, just to let him know I wasn't dead. Tell him the job was going slower than usual. Give him some stupid stuff to go on, like the headmaster's name and the classes that I taught. No need to spy, no need. Actually, I could probably just slide down to the MD level and FLY Esthar Garden over to Balamb, so Squall could get a first-hand look at it.  
  
Of course. The perfect revenge.  
  
Seifer Lionors Merielleia Averyostar Shelanda Yearless Almasy.  
  
And suddenly, the idea didn't appeal to me so much anymore.  
  
  
  
  
  
AN~Mffft.*grunts* I don't like this chappy for some reason. It irks me. It's too much drama and not enough humor. Basically, this is supposed to create an air of mystery and suspense. Where the @#$% is Seifer?, basically. LoL. Don't get the wrong idea, though. Selphie doesn't love him, yet.(Key word being 'yet', people). She's just a little upset because he ran off with no indication of where the @#$% he was going. This chappy's short, and the only thing you gather from it is some stuff about Allanna. Although I will admit, this chapter's just setting you up for the next couple of chapters, so I guess I can pardon it's crappiness for that. *sigh* I'll try harder next time, I promise. ~tiger~ 


	9. You Malignant Sod!

Hey! I Could Be A Messenger From Hyne, Ya Know!- A Misadventurous Romance Story  
  
Chapter Nine-You Malignant Sod!  
  
  
  
AN~Hey-lo, all! I'm just kicking back and listening to 'Where I Belong' from the FF8 soundtrack and thinking up new plot twists. I do regret to inform everyone that because of the way this plotline is going, the humor is slowly but surely going to fade out of this, I think. I'll try to keep some funny things in, but it just won't be as humorous as parts 1-7. *cries* I'M REALLY, REALLY, SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anywhosen, some stuff is answered in this part. Erm, yeah. ~tigerofthewind~*is grumbling about the crappy turn her fics have taken*  
  
  
  
  
  
We found him a week later, just outside the gates of Esthar Garden. Well, I found him, at any rate. It had happened when I was going out to do some monster hunting, because a few random Mesmerizes were creeping into Garden, and I was going to take care of them. I was walking out of Garden with my Strange Vision slung over my shoulder and thinking about what I should junction to my elemental attack when I came across him slumped against the gate.  
  
More like, TRIPPED over him slumped across the gate, but he could have tripped me intentionally and broken a limb or two and I wouldn't have cared, because at least he was back.  
  
"Hey, you---"I stopped in midsentence, my eyes widening. He'd looked like he'd been through Nemeris and back again, with his clothes ripped and his arms and legs and face all bloodied.  
  
Allanna(who hadn't spoken to me since our talk about the underworld, by the way) got one look at her son and screamed. And I screamed with her.  
  
'HYPERION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'  
  
And aloud, I cried the same thing."HYPERION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Dropping to my knees beside him, I put an ear to his chest and listened. Okay, he was still alive. But from the shallow rasp that was his breathing and from the blood that seemed to be collecting everywhere, I knew it wouldn't be for very much longer.  
  
Just as I was about to haul him over my shoulder and start for Garden, Seifer coughed a little and his eyes opened."D-Damn, T- Til.......mitt..............dunno have........"He coughed, and I recoiled at the sight of the blood that came up with it, trickling down his chin."..........dunno have to........shout............."  
  
"Quiet, don't talk,"I said, trying to be comforting but in actuality letting slip how scared I really was. Panic isn't something that you can easily hide.  
  
"You............you c-called me...............Hyperion..................."Even at the very brink of death, he could still put that wary, suspicious look in his eyes. It was like having a dead man glare at you."W-Why...............? O-Only........I know.........th-that name.............."  
  
Well, it wasn't quite true. From the letters on the side of his gunblade, anyone could tell that the thing was named Hyperion. Then again, they didn't exactly know that it was the name of it's wielder, as well. But that wasn't exactly the most important thing to deal with now, was it?  
  
"It doesn't matter,"I hushed him, wondering if I should run for help instead. I knew that someone of my tiny stature couldn't carry someone as tall as him, lean though he was. I stood up to leave, and he grabbed my wrist with a strength that was surprising, considering the fact that he was dying in front of my very eyes.  
  
"D-Don't......"Another cough, and more blood. I wondered what in Hyne's name had happened to him. And in my head, Allanna's panic mirrored my own."........D-Don't..............leave me.................."  
  
If the situation hadn't been so precarious(a.k.a., he was DYING!!!!!!!!), then I probably would have wondered, and maybe even laughed a little, at that. But seeing as how he wasn't going to live very long without some help, I barely took any notice of it.  
  
"Oh, Hyne,"I breathed, feeling tears of panic and frustration and pain fill my eyes."I've gotta go, and get some help!"The next part slipped out, even though I'd meant to keep the little fact hidden from him---"If I don't get help, you'll DIE!"  
  
Seifer didn't look surprised, only haggard. Only haggard."Issss..........s'okay..........."he managed."I'm.......just..........p-pissed because..........those......worthless pieces...........of Grendel.............sh-shit......."  
  
"D-Damn!"he started again."They.........tr-tried to...........k-kill me..............."  
  
Dropping everything for a minute, I turned to stare at him."Who tried to kill you?! Who'd want to?!"  
  
"Galbadia!"he choked hoarsely, before falling forward onto the pavement."A-Ambush.................."  
  
'Hyperion!!!!!!!'Allanna shrieked, and I hastened to make her quiet. I couldn't concentrate on what to do if she was wailing like a harpy in the back of my mind.  
  
"Oh, man!"I shouted aloud, hopping from one foot to the other like the pavement was on fire. I couldn't carry him back to Garden, and by the time I went for help and got back again, who knows?! Plus there were those Mesmerizes around.......  
  
I got an idea."Float!"I cried, spinning my nunchaku around. The angel wings that were vaguely similar to my Rapture spell attached themselves to Seifer's back and hauled him upright. I had to admit, he looked worse for the wear. I couldn't find a single spot on him that wasn't torn or bloodied. I wondered; what had Galbadia done to him to beat him up this bad? It looked like bladework, but then there had to have been at least ten soldiers ganging up on him at once! Why had Galbadia done this?!  
  
Getting one arm under his shoulders to pull him along, I carried Seifer up to the Garden directory, where Headmaster Chanton and(oh, thank Hyne!) Doctor Padant were deep in discussion. At the sight of me and their commander, Headmaster Chanton's eyes popped open in shock, and Doctor Padant dropped her clipboard and hurried over.  
  
"Tilmitt, what happened?!"she demanded, helping me lower Seifer to the ground."I doubt a Mesmerize could have done this to him!"  
  
"No, he said it was Galbadia,"I answered, watching as she checked him over."Something about an ambush, and how they tried to kill him."  
  
"Yes, yes,"she muttered, distracted."These are the mark of Galbadian blades. We've got to get him to the infirmary, quickly!"  
  
I cast another Float and helped Doctor Padant haul Seifer along to the infirmary, Headmaster Chanton on our heels. On impulse, I also cast a Regen spell on him, something I hadn't thought of earlier. Settling him into the biggest bed in the infirmary, I breathed a sigh of relief and looked around the room.  
  
Headmaster Chanton was pacing in front of Doctor Padant's desk, his hands clapsed behind his back and a worried expression on his face. Doctor Padant herself was muttering incoherently and gathering up all sorts of supplies from her cabinents.  
  
"Tilmitt!"she barked, and I hurried over.  
  
"Yes, ma'am?"I asked, and saluted hurriedly. Doctor Padant had been known to have a quick tongue and an even quicker temper. She gestured towards the bed.  
  
"I'm going to need your help. All these wounds need bandaging, but I'm afraid even the commander won't be able to live without more help than that. I want you to stand there and cast Regen at my behest; don't cast a single spell until I say so, or I'll have your hide. Got it?!"  
  
"Right!"I nodded, wanting to help as much as she.  
  
We worked late into the night; even Headmaster Chanton had gone off to bed by the time we were done. Thankfully, due to the Mesmerize plague, students were restricted to their dorms by 17:00 hours, so no one had seen what had happened, thank Hyne. The last thing we needed was students standing at the door pestering us with useless questions. It was taking all of our concentration on this alone.  
  
"Tilmitt, Cure, there!"Doctor Padant pointed to a shallow gash across Seifer's chest; almost wearily, I cast a Cure spell on it. It had been going like that for some time; her shouting orders, and me following them in a sort of half-concious state.  
  
Finally, after what had seemed like an eternity, Doctor Padant stood up, stretching out back and cracking her knuckles."Phew! One more Regen should do it for him, Tilmitt, then you can head back to your room."  
  
Casting the Regen, I hadn't realized how tired I was until it was all over and done with."Doctor, can I---that is to say, would you mind if I stayed with him for the night? Just in case something happens---"  
  
"Alright, Tilmitt, no need for a speech,"the doctor cut me off, waving a hand at me dismissively."Just don't do anything to bother my patient, or I'll have you tossed out and fed to the Malboros!"  
  
"Yes, ma'am."Of course! By now, I was heartily sick of the creatures. Gathering up some blankets, I made up a bed on the floor. I'd had a lot to think about, considering everything that had transpired today.  
  
For example, where was it Seifer had gone? And without telling anyone? Plus, why would Galbadia even THINK of attacking him?! Were they HOPING to start another war? An unprecedented attack on their Garden's commander would surely make Esthar take some sort of retaliation action!  
  
Phew, I shuddered to think of how much Seifer'd been through. I mean, if the attack took place in Galbadia, then that meant that he had to come all the way across the HORIZON BRIDGE just to get where he was! Not to mention all the monsters that were crawling all over the plains! Nasty business, this was. When he woke up tomorrow morning, I'd have to get him to tell me everything.  
  
Something pushed irritably against my mind, not allowing me to fall asleep just yet. Blinking unfocusedly, I crossed my eyes inadvertantly.  
  
'Bella............'Allanna's tone was mournful.'I am sorry. I should not have yelled at you so.'  
  
'Mfft, it's okay,'I replied, something close to a mental grunt escaping my lips.'I shouldn't have kept poking at you to talk about the Place Between the Worlds.'  
  
'Well, there are more important things at stake, now.'She was just as eager to forget our fight as I was. I mean, I liked Allanna. She creeped me out at first, but she wasn't so bad to have around.  
  
'Yeah, there are. Tomorrow I'll find out exactly what ha---'  
  
I was still thinking to myself when I fell asleep.  
  
  
  
**************************************************************************** ******  
  
  
  
Something was poking me. I mean, who pokes someone when they're asleep?! Unless of course they wanted to wake them up--  
  
Hey, was I asleep? WoW, I guess being asleep isn't exactly something you think about WHEN you're asleep. Weird! But maybe I was like........half- asleep and half-awake, ya know? Like when you fall asleep in class, but you can still hear noises going on in the background? But you can't exactly move or anything? That's kinda like what this was now.  
  
OKAY, not the problem! Back to the original crisis! SOMEONE was poking me, and they'd better stop it!  
  
"Hey, come on! Hyne, Tilmitt, you sleep like a fucking log! I'M the one who got messed up, and you're the one taking the vacation!"  
  
"Commander, perhaps you should take it---"  
  
"Hell, no! I'm tired of takin' it easy! Look, somebody get Tilmitt up before I get drastic and start pokin' holes in her with the Hyperion! I'll do it, I'm warnin' ya!"  
  
Well, sheesh. Someone sure was belligerent this early in the morning, hunh? Hey, wait!  
  
I retaliated quite viciously when something sharp nicked my collarbone."MFFT!!!!!"I gave the loudest possible grunt imaginable and flailed my legs up, kicking what clearly had to be the user of that sharp object. So the series of sounds went as such---poke, 'MFFT!!!!!!', THWACK!. I suppose anyone not being poked or kicked must've found the scene quite amusing.  
  
Still grumbling to myself, I opened my eyes to:"Ow! Fuck! Shit!" and the sight of Seifer leaning over me, one hand up to his face. I was pleased to note that aside from his trademark scar, there was no other marks on him. Doctor Padant and I did a kick-ass job. Which of course reminded me that I just kicked a man who nearly died.  
  
But no one, I repeat, NO ONE pokes me and gets away with it."Ah, shaddup!"I muttered, and hauled myself upright. Those hours of sleeping on the floor sure had left their toll. My back hurt, my neck hurt, my arms hurt, and dammit, my collarbone hurt from that damn scratch from the Hyperion.  
  
I rolled my head around on my shoulders, trying to ease the aching in my neck."Question---what're you playing at, poking me so early in the morning?"  
  
Seifer shrugged, taking his hand away from his face. The bruise I'd given him a week ago had faded, but it was still noticeable."Dunno, you weren't getting up. I thought you died or something."He caught my glance at the bruise on his eye."Tried to tell Doctor Padant that I'd gotten it from those Galbadian assholes, but she didn't believe me. I guess it was too old- lookin' to pass for something I'd just gotten done."  
  
I took a look at him. The bandages Doc Padant and I had wrapped so carefully around him were gone, but I could see that he still hadn't had the decency to put a shirt on, either. Hmph! Aside from a few bruises that made him look more battered than what he was, he looked as onery and vexating as ever. But Hyne, he was alive! I mean, hello?! He was actually ALIVE!  
  
"You're okay!"I shouted happily, launching myself at him and throwing my arms around him, ignoring the fact that my legs were still quite tangled up in my blankets on the floor. He gave me a look of utmost surprise, then laughed a little and returned my hug.  
  
Allanna's exultation soaring through my mind was only a little more than my own.  
  
"You malignant SOD!"I shouted, beating him wearily with my fists and ignoring the tears of relief that were streaming down my face."You had us all worried SICK! You're positively EVIL, and don't be surprised if I never talk to you again!!!"  
  
"I don't think Hyne likes me enough for that,"he murmured in my ear, and we both laughed. We were back on the old footing again---hate.  
  
Disentangling myself from him, I only became more tangled in my blankets, and fell to the floor with a thump. I tried to ignore the pounding of my heart. I mean, I'd never hugged a shirtless guy before, not even Irvy. Blech! Guys were too complicated! I'll think I'll just become a nun.  
  
"You've gotta get back to your classes, Tilmitt,"Seifer was saying, getting up and kicking stuff around in the vain attempt to find a shirt."You've been asleep for two days now, so don't expect any pay or anything."  
  
Mfft. The pay here sucks, anyway.  
  
I began folding up my blankets and putting them away, watching in quiet amusement as Seifer went around destroying the things I'd just worked so hard to organize."Well, later. Tee-hee!"  
  
I smiled and waved cheerily, then went on my way. Behind me, I heard a loud BANG! and the Beast bellowed:"PADANT!!!!!!!!!! WHERE'RE ALL MY FUCKING SHIRTS?!?!"  
  
Had to hand it to him. Even being only a few days out of his deathbed, Seifer Almasy could still bellow louder than anyone I'd met.  
  
  
  
**************************************************************************** *********  
  
  
  
Oh, Hyne. A rumor had gotten out about what had transpired over the past couple of days. Between kids telling stories about how their commander battled a fifty-foot octopus monster to how a group of street whores(this one surprised me, Branton had started it) ganged up on him for short- changing them were spreading all over Garden like wildfire. Myself, I still had classes and the Mesmerize attacks to deal with(blasted things, I was starting to hate them almost as much as Malboros), so I generally ignored them. I'd gone back to using my Strange Vision as a means to deter note- passing, and I'd still had all those classes to teach.  
  
Which of course reminded me that I was supposed to have started gunblade training with Seifer before he'd left, and made me wonder if he'd forgotten. The first night since I'd seen him out of bed, he hadn't come to his dorm that night. I fretted for a bit, then discovered that he'd just spent the night getting things straightened out in his office. I wondered if his receptionists had 'helped' him with that one.  
  
Then again, THAT wasn't something I wanted to think about.  
  
'You are weary, Bella,'came Allanna's voice, after my classes were over and I was trying to get ahead of all the grading that had piled up on me. I considered just stamping A's on everything and going off to bed.'You must rest.'  
  
'I can't!'I informed her, for the fiftieth time.'I'm already behind on all this stuff!'  
  
'You and Hyperion,'she sighed.'You both do not know your own limitations.'Her tone grew mock threatening.'I will give you the hiccups, make you sneeze over and over again, or have you become thrown in a fit of convulsions if you do not sleep, Bella. You must promise me.'  
  
I knew she would(and could), too. It certainly wouldn't have been the first time. Shaking my head, I conceded defeat.'Okay, okay. Just let me finish this paper, and I'll head back to my room.'  
  
After I'd finished grading the junctioning report I'd been working on, I packed up my things and headed back to my dorm. Tossing my briefcase into a corner, I wearily stripped down into my flannel short-shorts and my tank top that made up my pajamas, and crawled into bed. The sheets had been freshly washed and ironed; I was in heaven. For once, Allanna had made a suggestion I was willing to agree with.  
  
I was just nodding off when the door clicked openly more quietly than usual and Seifer appeared, looking a bit disheveled. The narrow rectangle of light vanished as he closed the door, but I could still make out his outline in the moonlight that was pouring through the window. Hardly bothering to supress a yawn, he shrugged off his overcoat(his traditional trenchcoat had been sent off to be mended, since it wasn't exactly in primo condition after the attack) and threw it into a corner.  
  
This was something I had marveled at for a time. My tiny space in the room was spotless except for my clothes which I had dropped unceremoniously on the floor. But the rest of the room, which undoubtedly belonged to Seifer, was a total mess. I mean, it was worse than IRVY'S dorm room, which was quite a feat. Papers, clothes, old food, and even something I took to be a car tire littered the floor, while various magazines and other clothes protruded out of the drawers. I didn't even want to guess what was in the closet; I had never opened it.  
  
Well, no matter. Not being a neat freak myself, I could learn to live with it. But back to the present. Seifer glanced in my direction, then made his way across the room with much trepidation, clearly not wanting to wake me up. However, I heard a faint thud and a much louder curse as his foot hit something on the floor, and I couldn't hold back a giggle.  
  
".......Tilmitt?"he asked hoarsely, and tried to fumble his way towards me. However, another protrusion on the floor made him curse again, and this time he tripped over his own feet and fell beside my bed, holding his ankle in both hands.  
  
"Sir? Are you okay?"I asked, propping myself up on my elbows and looking down at him. I think he thought the moonlight must've hidden his grimace of pain.  
  
"Yeah. Bashed my ankle."  
  
"Well, the way this room is, BROKE it seems more likely,"I replied cheerfully enough, and managed to get my arms under him and hoist him up to my level."Jeez, why do I always gotta be the one to save you?"  
  
Man, Seifer looked tired. From the moonlight, I could clearly see the shadows under his eyes and the two-day stubble crossing his jaw, not to mention the definite slump of his shoulders and the hanging of his head. I wondered if he'd gotten any sleep lately. I also wondered if the receptionists were to blame.  
  
I think he meant to take ahold of my shoulder, but ending up smacking me in the nose with his hand instead."Ouch!"I cried, as quietly as I could. It was night out, ya know.  
  
"Oh, shit!"He groped around, feeling at my face and rather ungracefully getting a finger up my nose before I grabbed his hand and held it in midair. There was silence for a time, until:"Hey, uh.......about that whole saving me thing. Thanks."It was spoken curtly, like he wasn't used to saying thank you for anything. Which I supposed was true."Doc Padant told me that, uh---that I woulda died if you hadn't came along and thought to cast Float on me and get me back inside Garden. And that, uh..........well, that whole stuff about you workin' into most of the night to make sure I didn't, uh, ya know, die or anything. She said that the next time I saw you, I should think before I say anything, because I owed you my life. I guess that's what I've been doing, thinking about stuff. That, and trying to get my office back into order and find the little shit that messed it up."  
  
I laughed."It's okay,"I replied, then remembered something."You saved me from the Malboro, remember? So we're even."  
  
Seifer shook his head."Training center, that day with Loire. We both would've been dead that day, too."  
  
"Hmmm............"I frowned."Then you owe me BIG TIME! Booyaka!"  
  
He shrugged."Fair enough."When he didn't move, and didn't say anything, I thought to venture on something that had been bothering me ever since he came back.  
  
"Sir..........where did you GO? I mean, when you didn't come back..........."  
  
Confusion replaced the ordinary mask that veiled his face."You got my letter, didn't you?"  
  
I nodded."Yeah, but........well, it just didn't seem like you'd be gone THAT long. And when I found you in front of the gate, and you said that stuff about Galbadia and an ambush, well............."  
  
I shifted awkwardly, and Seifer grinned."You were WORRIED about me!"  
  
"It's just that no one knew what to do with you not around!"I defended, feeling my face turn red. I hoped the night would hide it."Everyone kept asking me, like I knew!"  
  
"Ha ha ha...........you were worried about me."His face grew expressionless once again."I went off to run a little errand in Esthar, and stopped back in here for a few hours to drop off some stuff. It was after curfew; no one was out and I used my key at the gate. I went up to my office, then I left again. You see, something'd been bothering me. Even after Edea fell outta power, Galbadia hadn't really gone back to normal. It was just anarchy, and they couldn't see it yet, because of the even bigger problem with Adel and Ultimecia. They don't like Esthar, and sorceresses, and since Gardens kinda coincide with both of them, I knew things were gonna come to a head sooner or later. So, I went to try and stop that."  
  
I frowned, but didn't interrupt. I just waited as patiently as I could for him to go on."Galbadia's got no president, you see, just some governer or mayor or something like that, some jackass named Powell. He wants to launch a direct assault on Esthar and it's Garden, because he thinks we're in league with some sorceress or something. ANOTHER one, like we didn't learn our lesson with Adel and Ultimecia."  
  
I noticed that he said 'we'. I wondered about that. He kept going."So, I went to this guy's house(it's the old Presidential Residence, mind you), and he sicks all of his armed guards on me! Pah!"He just stopped himself from spitting on the floor in contempt."Worthless sons-of-bitches! They're planning to fire missiles right at us, without any warnin' at all! DAMMIT!!!!!!!"  
  
I had to duck out of the way as his fist went whizzing into the wall. Straightening up with more than an immeasureable amount of fear, I caught his fist again as it hurled toward an unknown destination that was hopefully not me.  
  
"Hey!"I said quietly, getting my face under him so that he was looking me in the eye."They haven't done anything yet, have they? It's been a week, maybe it was just an empty threat---"  
  
"No way!"he muttered, yanking his wrist out of my grasp. Rubbing it thoughtfully, he regarded me with something, that if I hadn't known better, I would have said was akin to fear in his eyes."There's a whole bunch of puny kids here, though. They wouldn't really shoot at a bunch of kids, would they?"  
  
I couldn't meet his eye.".........You did........"I answered softly, staring at my hands. We were sitting so close together, that I could actually feel him freeze.  
  
"I did, didn't I? Well, no more. No MORE!"The last word was shouted most viciously; I recoiled a bit. Allanna, I'm certain, would have been thoroughly giving me the middle finger if she was actually alive to do it. As it went, she settled for mental curses and little twitches of my fingers, because I badmouthed her son.  
  
"No more,"I agreed, put both my hands on his shoulders, and shook him gently."Come on, man! We'll stop it, don't worry! Heh, I stopped 'em last time, with Galbadia! We can do it, and if you won't, then I will."  
  
That seemed to give him some of his old vigor back."All right. We'll kick some Galbadia ass!"  
  
"But...........heeeey, I destroyed their missile base! Did they build another one?"  
  
Seifer shook his head."Nope. From what I heard, they're planning on using an old abandoned one near Esthar. They're firing in a week. That doesn't give us a whole lotta time, Tilmitt."  
  
"Duh!"I said, and made a dorky face at him."Tee-hee, I've been through the whole thing once before. Another go shouldn't be too hard."I frowned, already making plans."Okay, I don't wanna cut it as close as I did the last time, but we've gotta think things through, too. Three days?"  
  
A slight narrowing of his eyes."Alright. Three days."  
  
"Okie!"I punched the air excitedly. Whoo! BLOWING THINGS TO SMITHEREENS!!!!!!! I hadn't had this much fun in a long time!"Heeeeey..............."Something else nagged at me."How'd you find all this out, anyway?"  
  
A shrug."They told me. Must've thought they were gonna kill me without a hitch; they didn't have any inhibitions about spilling out their whole plan before they threw those twenty guys at me."  
  
TWENTY?! WHOOOOA! Doctor Padant and I had been pretty sure that there had only been fifteen, at the most! Sheesh! I guess everyone's favorite commander was stronger than we all thought. Which got me to thinking about something else.  
  
"Sir.......how did you get BACK here?"  
  
Another shrug, his favorite gesture besides the traditional middle finger."I jumped outta the window before those guys could whack on me real hard. Train was leavin' the station for FH just as I burst in, so I jumped from the platform into the cargo car, in the back. When I got to FH, I footed it across the rest of the Horizon Bridge and the Great Salt Lake. Somehow, I ended up back here."  
  
MAN! He did all that?! Was that even POSSIBLE?! Doc Padant was right; it WAS a wonder he survived! I'd have to start calling him Miracle Man from now on, or something.  
  
"Ack! You are one lucky fuck, ya know that?"I informed him, with all of my usual grace. He grunted.  
  
"Enh. It's not luck, Tilmitt, it's SKILL."  
  
"Well..........."I shifted again."............I guess it's okay that you didn't die, and stuff."  
  
That grin again, the one that made me want to hit something(preferably him) as soon as I saw it."In other words, you're glad I'm all right."  
  
"Yeah, okay, maybe,"I allowed grudgingly, and planted both of my sock- covered feet on his back, kicking him lightly to the floor."I'm goin' to bed."  
  
Seifer did a bad job of smothering a yawn."Yeah, same."  
  
"Heeeey,"I questioned again, just as he was flinging himself into his hammock with the utmost of ease."What'd ya do in Esthar, anyways?"  
  
A laugh."You'll find out in the morning. Now quit pesterin' me and let me get some sleep. I've got work tomorrow."  
  
That wasn't quite right."Erm.......so do I."  
  
"Point. Ah, whatever! Fuck off, Tilmitt."  
  
That made me giggle uncontrollably."In other words, 'good night'?"  
  
Success! He laughed at it, too."Yep."  
  
"Well, fuck off to you, too,"I replied, rolling over and arranging my covers around me."And I'll see in you the morning."  
  
I had a lot of worries on my mind before I drifted off to sleep. The first one was clearly the threat about the missiles. The next one was my harried schedule, since I had no more free periods left to myself. The third was about Allanna, and her judgement day that was soon in coming. And finally, I fretted over stuff back at Balamb, and the transmission that I was supposed to have sent Squall and never did. Whoops.  
  
My last thought before I drifted off to sleep was how badly I needed a vacation.  
  
  
  
  
  
AN~W00T! This chapta is FINISHED! Crappy, but finished. The one thing I do credit myself for is the re-introduction of humor back into this part. Perhaps I can find a way to keep this thing both funny, humorous, and romantic(yes, I know you can't have three subjects if you use the word 'both') all at once. Perhaps. Anyways, let's keep going with those reviews! Make it to 150, and I'll give you a cookie! Tee-hee! R/R, everyone, and don't forget to boycott pork!!! ~tiger~ 


	10. Damn! I Thought It Was Somebody Importan...

Hey! I Could Be A Messenger From Hyne, Ya Know!- A Misadventurous Romance Story  
  
Chapter Ten-Damn! I Thought It Was Somebody Important!  
  
  
  
AN~Hiya!*waves* I'm SOOOOO sorry for the complete and utter lack of updates; school's been starting and I've been working like mad on my web comic(I don't have it posted yet, so don't ask about it), so I haven't really had the time to type. Anyways, ya'll can always find me on AIM, or on some form of Internet thingy. My E-mail is tiger_of_the_wind_07@hotmail.com, and my AIM screenname is tigerofthewind07. Tiger of the Wind being my fav character from this old anime named Monster Rancher(they took it off TV...*sniff*) and 07 standing for the Courageous Seven, the seven main characters in the show. Ah, hell! Those who've seen MR, good for you! Those who haven't, it's a shame. Anyways, not the point. The point is, I'm typing now. Don't expect anything new for....months and crap. Also, as per my custom, I wanna shout out a huge THANX to my 130 reviewers, and shamelessly dedicate this chapter to PinkStarz, Maerah(my 100th reviewer, by the way! W00T! You rock!) and Dreamcatcher! Thanx, you guys! Well, byes! ~tigerofthewind~*is in desperate need of Cherry Coke*  
  
  
  
  
  
I was awakened by something(or someone, rather) whispering in my ear softly, and something brushing the side of my face. Not being overly concious, I had time to register the voice in my head before I did anything drastic, namely, punching whoever it was who was bothering me directly in the balls.  
  
"Come on, Tilmitt, it's time to get up............ Ow! Dammit! Sonofa---"  
  
"Mffftttttt........."I grunted and sat up, too tired and out-of-it to even laugh at Seifer tripping over something on the floor that was ultimately his fault in being there."Okay, okay........ I'm up, I'm up."  
  
All I got was a cheesy grin in return."All right, all right. I get your point, I get your point."  
  
"Is there a purpose to repeating all this, is there a purpose to repeating all this?"  
  
"None at all, none at all."He shook his head, laughing a little to himself. Then again, he always was deranged."Anyway, now that you're up, let's go."  
  
"Go where?"I frowned in a bemused sort of way. Who the hell was HE to think that he could wake me up at---WHAT?! 4AM!!!!!---and order me around?!"I'm not even dressed..........."  
  
"So quit yappin' and get dressed, or go naked,"he said offhandedly, hurling my uniform at me. It smacked me in the face.  
  
Still grumbling to myself, I popped into the bathroom, changed, washed my face, brushed my teeth, and popped out again, somehow still looking as bleary-eyed as I had before I got dressed. I wondered with more than a small amount of sleepiness what was going on. I hoped nothing was wrong.  
  
When I emerged, Seifer was already standing at the door, tapping his foot on the ground impatiently and looking at the clock on the wall(I recalled him saying once that only fags like Zell wore a watch). Giving him a nasty glare and receiving one in return, I followed him wordlessly out into the hall.  
  
Down the hall, and out to the directory. Past the directory, past the library, like we were heading for the parking lot. I wondered; were we going for another pyscho-drive again? No, we stopped. Where, you ask? In front of the training center.  
  
Then I remembered. My gunblade training. Duh! I nearly smacked myself in the forehead, but it required too much energy for this time in the morning. This time?! Yeah! Hello?! Even our training with Vienna started at 6, instead of this unHynely hour of 4! Grr.........I really wanted to hit something. Well, at least my training would allow that.  
  
"Good..........your face tells me that you know why we're here,"said Seifer, starting to walk again."Saves me time explainin'."  
  
Feeling my head starting to pound from lack of sleep, I had no choice but to doggedly follow him, all the while focusing what little power I had left in me to conjure up the wonderful image of his head exploding on the spot.  
  
We stopped at the end of the entrance hallway, and I looked around. Yup. Same old training center. In a daze, I junctioned myself properly to defend against any possible Malboro attacks. Man. Between them and the Mesmerizes, I was suprised that my hair hadn't turned gray already.  
  
Without a single trace of fatigue on him, Seifer rounded up a Grat and cast Stop on it. While the thing was stuck in this weirdo form of suspended animation which would have made me laugh under different circumstances, I waited patiently for my lesson to begin. Or maybe, not so patiently. I mean, I was vaguely interested(VAGUELY, mind you, not a lot), but I really wanted to just get the dumb thing over with so I could go back to bed.  
  
"Tilmitt."Seifer dropped a long, black leather case on the ground. I hadn't even noticed him carrying it."Yours."  
  
Wondering if some Silly String or a mini-Malboro or some other horrible practical joke was going to come popping out at me, I opened it carefully, with more than a little trepidation.  
  
It was a gunblade.  
  
I am NOT kidding you. There it was inside that case, bullets and all. It wasn't quite like Squall's Revolver, nor like Seifer's Hyperion. Maybe that's why I fell in love with it on first sight. Maybe because it was something that was MINE, uniquely mine. It wasn't a broad blade, like Squall's, nor something narrow, like Seifer's. Mine. Halfway in between. The sides of the blades were blank and bare, unlike everyone else's. Squall's had the carving of Griever, Vienna's had a pair of angel wings, and of course, Seifer's had the fancy twirling letters that spelled 'Hyperion'. No, nothing was on the side of mine. But dangling from the end were several charms of a moon and stars, hanging from a single chain.  
  
Bella was stirring awake in my mind, clouding my vision for a brief moment.'So..........this was the purpose of Hyperion's visit to Esthar.'  
  
It took some time to click, and when it did, MAN, must I have looked like an idiot! My jaw dropped open, my eyes popped out wide, and I probably looked like an advertisement for a bad Halloween costume. I was surprised that my hair wasn't sticking up in every direction or that my back wasn't arched like a black cat.  
  
"In Esthar........"I squeaked, fully awake now,"this is what.........I mean, that was when you..........?"  
  
Seifer nodded curtly, a single brief tilting of the head in assent."Name."  
  
"Name?"Uh-oh. He was starting to sound too much like Fujin for my liking. I mean, I knew that they spent a lot of time together and stuff, her being the head of the disciplinary commitee and all, but if she was starting to rub off on him THAT MUCH.....? I started to get worried.  
  
"Yeah, a name. The thing needs a name, don't it?"Oh. Duh."The guy I bought it from said he'd do an engraving on the side for free if you went down and saw him. Don't expect me to do it for you; I've done more than enough already, considering."  
  
I considered. Yeah, he had. Stupid worthless lummox.  
  
I couldn't stop thinking that as I engulfed him in a hug large enough to encompass the entire city of Esthar. As had been the case before, he looked most startled at first. A true picture moment. Then again, I had yet to talk to Mira about getting those pictures developed off of her camera. I mean, come ON. Moments like the ones I had caught on film just HAD to be recorded somewhere.  
  
Before I broke away, I whispered something in his ear. He didn't say anything for a while, and when he finally did, it was just to ask if I'd picked a name yet.  
  
I ran through my history, thinking of some cool name that pertained to history. Squall's names were boring; I'd always hated that. Nemeris, was of course, the underworld, and Hyperion was the name of an ancient sun god from back during the times of the Centra. I frowned, and the moon-and-stars charms dangling from the handle caught my eye.  
  
"Chandrakanan,"I said quietly."It's name is Chandrakanan."  
  
Seifer looked surprised at first, then, I'm happy to report, even a little impressed."Chandrakanan, hunh? Well, it suits it."  
  
And we started my training, with Chandrakanan.  
  
The name suited it, indeed. Chandrakanan, the Dragon of the Stars. That was what I called it.  
  
And what I had whispered in Seifer's ear was..........  
  
'..........Yes...............now we are even.'  
  
  
  
**************************************************************************** **************  
  
  
  
One day. We had one day, or else everything we knew was gone.  
  
It was nighttime at Esthar Garden, and I was hurriedly sneaking into the cafeteria's terminals again, but for a different purpose than my first intent had been. The first time, I was a spy. And now......well, it seemed like with each day that passed, I was turning more and more into a member of Esthar Garden.  
  
An electronic beep signified my logging on to the network. It was the International Garden Network, the IGN. It was generally how most SeeDs contacted their superiors when they were on missions particularly far away from their home Gardens.  
  
Success! Someone from Balamb was on! I checked out the screename(AngelWingz) and guessed that it was Rinoa.  
  
In a flash, I felt a sudden pang of homesickness. I mean, Mira and Vienna and Branton and all the rest had grown on me like a nasty(or maybe not so nasty) fungus, but they couldn't take the place of everyone I'd left behind. NOTHING could take the place of everyone I'd left behind.  
  
Rinoa's and I's conversation went as thus:  
  
BoOyaKaBooM!:Hey, Rin!  
  
AngelWingz:SELPHIE!!!!!! OMIGOSH!!!! WHAT'S GOING ON?!?!?!  
  
BoOyaKaBooM!:It's okay, Rin! Just hanging out, I guess. This job's boring, ya know.  
  
AngelWingz:We were so worried about you! Squall was going to send out a search party or something if you didn't make a report soon!  
  
BoOyaKaBooM!:Well, I'm okay. Tee-hee! It's just taking longer than I thought it would.  
  
AngelWingz:It must be! Come on, Selph, it's been nearly two months already! You've GOT to have something else!  
  
BoOyaKaBooM!:Well........as it turns out, Rin, you guys were completely off-base. From what I can tell, Esthar isn't really up to anything bad.  
  
AngelWingz:REALLY?! Then, what about Seifer?  
  
BoOyaKaBooM!:What about him? We can't arrest him for being an asshole; if we could, then he'd already be in prison for life.  
  
AngelWingz:*laugh* Yeah, you're right. Still, Selphie, at the FIRST SIGN of anything freaky, let us know, okay?  
  
BoOyaKaBooM!:Of course! But you know, I don't think anything WILL happen. I mean, it's been two months, like you said, and nothing's happened so far.  
  
AngelWingz:You know, you're right. I should talk to Squall about letting you come off of this mission. I mean, the Garden Festival's COMPLETELY under way, but I wish you'd be back to see it.  
  
BoOyaKaBooM!:Yeah, I wish I could see it, too.  
  
AngelWingz:Hey, maybe you could! I'll talk to Squall! I'm sure he'll agree with me!  
  
BoOyaKaBooM!:Actually, uh, Rin, that's okay. I mean, I don't want to take any chances.  
  
AngelWingz:Hey, Selph, what's with this all of a sudden? I thought you couldn't WAIT to get out of there.  
  
BoOyaKaBooM!:I know, I know, but.....well, what if something IS going on? I just wanna make sure.  
  
AngelWingz:Sheez, nothin's gonna happen! You might as well come back in time to SEE the Garden Festival, even if you couldn't help make most of it. The FH guys were a huge help, by the way. I gave them their free tickets to the Festival, just like they asked. So come on, Selph! Some of them are REALLY cute! You should start looking for love again, instead of moping around over in Esthar!  
  
BoOyaKaBooM!:No, thanks. Irvy was bad enough. I think I'll put my love life on hold, if you don't mind. Besides, I'm not 'wasting my time'. I'm not taking any chances that the same thing'll happen to Balamb that happened to Trabia.  
  
AngelWingz:I know how you feel, Selph, but...........  
  
AngelWingz:Please, come home. We all miss you. Please, Selph. Please.  
  
BoOyaKaBooM!:I'm sorry, Rinoa! I can't! I just CAN'T!!!  
  
And I had logged off then, barely seeing what I was doing through a flurry of tears. I was so homesick for Balamb that it hurt. I ran back towards the dormitories, feeling that if one more thing got dropped on me, I'd either collapse or explode. So much depended on what I did. Not just what I wanted, but what everyone else wanted, too.  
  
The door was locked. Well, of course it was. It was always locked; Seifer would usually walk with me from my last class back to the rooms. So I sank down next to the door, drawing my knees up to my chest and burying my face in my hands. It was too much; it was all too much. Not only was homesickness eating at me like a Grendel, but there was the whole mission crisis going on with Esthar, the weight of my classes, and the whole thing with Allanna.  
  
She was there, trying to comfort me.'Oh, Bella, I did not know I would trouble you such as this. I shall leave you to your peace at once, and whatever befalls me at the day of my judgement, I shall take it as it goes. You have done much for me, my young friend. I know now that my death has not been in vain.'  
  
She left. It was hard to explain how it happened, but I knew she had gone. There was a hole where she had once been, an emptiness. I hadn't really wanted her to leave. But in my wretched state, I had made no move to stop her.  
  
My sobs echoed brokenly through the empty hall, bouncing off the walls to taunt me again and again. This whole mission was a failure. It had sounded so simple when I had thought of it; so easy, like the other missions had been. I'd be able to do something good for Balamb, and conveniently get revenge against the one person I had truly hated at the same time. Where had everything gone wrong? When had things gotten so amiss?  
  
I heard footsteps approaching, and I silently cursed whomever it was. Why couldn't they just leave me alone? I'd only cried a total of three times in my whole life; why not grant me this one more time?! And out of the pounding headache that had formed, I heard a surprising voice.  
  
"Sir, I heard it over here---"Hunh? Vienna? What was Vienna doing back here?"There was this noise---I thought maybe an intruder---"  
  
Damn! I thought it was somebody important!  
  
"Alright, Loire. Head back to your dorm. I'll take care of this."Oh, great! The LAST person I wanted to see right now, just HAD to be here. I was beginning to think that Hyne really did hate me. Footsteps receding into the distance, and the Beast spoke again:"Hey! Whoever's down there! You've got until the count of three! One!"  
  
Oh, Hyne! Why couldn't he just leave me alone?! Everything was turning out to be a disaster! Not to mention the fact that I was sitting in an abandoned hallway crying my eyes out, something that was never very becoming to anyone.  
  
"Two!"  
  
First was the fact that I got caught spying, and I was stuck in this unbelievably unbearable position. Then came the whole business with the executive party, Esthar, and my overload of classes. Next, Allanna Lionors Merielleia Averyostar Shelanda Yearless. After that was Seifer's disappearance, and now, the missile crisis. And on top of that, I was so far away from home with no one to even care what was going on........  
  
"Three---"I looked up, hair tangled and face blotchy. Seifer had been standing at the end of the hallway, not even in any form of battle stance, carrying the hard black case that held the Hyperion, all business-like and oppressive; but at the sight of me curled up into a ball sitting on the floor and crying, he dropped the case with a hard THUD! and positively ran over to me.  
  
"Hey, Tilmitt, what's wrong?"he asked, shaking me by the shoulder."You're not, like............pregnant or anything, are you?"  
  
"NO!"I cried, and gave him an odd look, before the thought made me burst out into tears again, convulsing in this really weird way, like a fish out of water.  
  
"Well, that's a relief......... Uh, I mean, I'm sorry about bein' late and stuff. Come on, I didn't MEAN to lock you out, Tilmitt, and even if I did, it's nothin' to cry about! Sheez, just stop making that RACKET!"  
  
I just wailed louder. And I was so thoroughly miserable, that it didn't even give me any joy to watch Seifer wince at the intensity of my voice, which had always been kinda loud.  
  
"Damn! Come on, shut up, people are gonna hear......."  
  
LET them hear! See if I care!  
  
"Ah, shit!"And then, in a series of most embarrassing scenes for me, he stood up, unlocked his door, bent down and picked me up, walked in, and kicked the door shut behind us.  
  
Stumbling around in the dark, he managed to successfully find my bed without tripping, falling, or stubbing a toe on any of the offending items that lay strewn across the floor. Instead, he sat down on the mattress with me sort of half-sitting, half-laying in his lap, and tried to pry me off of him with his fingers.  
  
But the most embarrassing thing was, I couldn't seem to let go of him!  
  
I don't mean in the sense that we were somehow glued together like the junior classmen had done to me that day in class, but in the sense that his presence was so oddly reassuring that I couldn't STAND to let go of him!  
  
"Come on, Tilmitt, leggo.........."I stuck to him like white on rice, believe you me. I really missed everyone back at Balamb right now.  
  
After an extended period of time, Seifer finally gave up trying to remove me and instead settled down with something I took to be a rather resigned sigh. Tee-hee. That small victory cheered me a little.  
  
"Fine,"he said, in typical Seifer fashion."Why don't you just sit here and bawl like a wuss and bore me to death by telling me your crappy insignificant problems?"  
  
I sniffled; why couldn't I seem to run out of bodily fluids and just dehydrate already?"In other words, you want me to tell you what's on my mind?"  
  
"Basically, I suppose."  
  
The thought of everything that had happened made me cry some more. I swear, it was just five years of pent-up tears spilling themselves out all over my face. Well, at least my makeup wouldn't run; I was wearing any.  
  
Burying my face in Seifer's chest so that my words came out as this muffled sort of stuffed-up-nose voice, I took a deep breath and began."Well, it all started a couple of months ago when I first started working here............"  
  
And from that point on, I told him the story. The WHOLE story. About the spying(which he already knew about, anyway), the pressure of running all my classes, the missile threat from Galbadia, and my homesickness for Balamb.  
  
The last thing I told him about was Allanna.  
  
Surprisingly enough, he took it all in stride. I mean, there was the definite wide-eyed surprise when I first mentioned her inside of my head, then that definite look of angry pain(not yet perfected by anyone save him, by the way) when I told him the history of his parents and of Dollet, and finally, as I closed up my long, long, ramble, a blank, pensive look.  
  
I didn't say anything; I suddenly felt a little better about getting all that off my chest. Instead, I waited for Seifer to say something.  
  
"So you've been using your only free period to tutor students who are no longer in your combat classes?"  
  
Well, that was unexpected."Y-Yeah."  
  
"Of course then, that's gotta stop. And if you want to go back to Balamb that bad, then just go. I ain't gonna stop you."  
  
Once again, that was unexpected. I considered the prospect. Forget the mission, forget Esthar, be back with my friends............  
  
I considered, but that was all."..................No."  
  
"No?"Once again, that undercurrent of surprise.  
  
"That's right, no. I'm too involved, now. And we'll just leave it at that."  
  
I couldn't see him, but I felt him shrug."Fine by me."A pause."And............you knew my mother."  
  
"Yeah, in a sense."  
  
"At least better than I did."I didn't know what to say to that, so I waited for him to go on."She wasn't so bad then, Mother? And now she's gone off to face her judgement and be sent to Nemeris? Because of me?"  
  
I tightened my hold on him in what I hoped was a reassuring sort of way."You know, both Allanna and I thought it was worth it. We learned a lot from each other. We didn't have any regrets. Especially Allanna. She NEVER had any regrets."  
  
Seifer didn't say anything, just moved his arms from around me before moving them back, dropping something into my hand. I didn't quite break away from him, but I moved just the slightest bit so I could see what it was.  
  
A necklace. HIS necklace. And not really a necklace, per se, more like a collar or dog tags or something of the sort. The thin links of chain, with the broad silver band in the center. And I noticed now something I had never noticed about it before.  
  
On the back, engraved in the metal, was a message.  
  
'To my son,  
  
Never forget who you are.  
  
Hyperion Lionors Merelleia Averyostar Shelanda Yearless Almasy, '01 SGA'  
  
I went to hand it back to him, but he took my hand and closed my fingers over it."You keep it. I think I'm tired of knowing who I am."And with that, he lifted up the hair from the back of my head and slipped the collar through, fastening it around my neck. With it came this bizarre comfort, despite the chill from the metal.  
  
There was a bit of an uncomfortable pause, which I broke."Erm..................I'm sorry about your mother."  
  
A longer pause on his part."Me, too."More silence, but not exactly awkward. Then---"Go on, go to sleep Tilmitt, your cryin's givin' me a huge headache, anyway---"and he wasn't really making any attempts at moving but then again, neither was I. And I really was tired from all that crying and Seifer's necklace hung down my neck because it was a little too big on me and I was drifting off to sleep............  
  
I breathed in the nice smell that was coming from all around me; this combination of soap and shampoo and aftershave and laundry detergent, not to mention this other odor I couldn't quite pick out...............  
  
"What about the missile base..........tomorrow............?"I asked sleepily, and I felt a hand idly stroking my hair.  
  
"Don't worry about it, Tilmitt................we'll get what's gotta be done, done."  
  
And before I finally succumbed to the irresistible call of sleep, Seifer's next words echoed in my mind.  
  
"...................Trust in me."  
  
And I was surprised to find that I could.  
  
  
  
  
  
AN~Well, upon popular demand, this is finished! I mean, I was going to make it longer, but oh well. I know how much everyone's been wanting me to update. So, here it is! Too cute, and like......not funny. But this was mainly filler, so I could deal with it. But if the next chapter's not funny, I'll strangle myself. Oh, a refreshing change in the next half of chapters to come! What is it? Shit if I'll tell you! Mweh heh heh. And 'Trust In Me' is the name of a soundtrack thingy in FF8, just so you know.... Well, I gotta go post this! Byes! ~tiger~*is yawning and suffering from a nasty cold* 


	11. It Can Think?

Hey! I Could Be A Messenger From Hyne, Ya Know! A Misadventurous Romance Story  
  
Chapter Eleven-It Can Think?(Almasy)  
  
  
  
AN~Well, let's hope I can make this chapter better than it's predecessors....LoL. My goal in life. But that's not the point. The point is, I'm updating. Like, actually UPDATING. Yay! Oh, new chapter dedications:Saturn Angels, and Topaz. Yay! I'm loving my new reviewers! Hmmm........an interesting twist, this. You can probably guess what it is, but if you don't, then I won't spoil it for you. LoL. Off I go, to be strange! ~tiger~*is strange and listening to a nifty FF mix*  
  
  
  
  
  
I know what you're thinking now. That this would be the part where we confessed our love for each other and lived happily ever after, right? Brrrnt! Wrong, people! I mean, do you all LIVE under that rock you somehow formulated out of sappy mush and situations with which I hadn't entirely been myself?  
  
Oh, shit. My bad. You actually DID think that, didn't you? Heh heh heh..........sorry for laughing, but it's just too rich to be true. ME? Fall in love? Hah!  
  
Let's compare this to a real world situation, folks. If you were at a zoo and you thought the lion looked pretty, would you go and shove your head in through the bars? To me, that was what love was like.  
  
I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror on the far side of the wall, behind all those pictures on the dresser. Yup, good ol' me. Same blonde hair, same green eyes. Trademark scar that little bastard Squall gave me just because he got in a lucky shot---I'd get him for that, by the way, it was something I had to add to my list of things to do---and trademark smirk.  
  
Only one thing was missing, and it happened to be encircled around the neck of an irritating little messenger girl who had quite accidentally(or rather, I had accidentally allowed her to do so) fallen asleep with her head against my chest. What was it, you ask? No, it was not my hand(although at times I very much wished it was). It was my necklace, the one from my mother.  
  
Now, what was it doing on the short and perky little messenger girl, Selphie Tilmitt? Hmmm, let's backtrack.  
  
Honestly, the girl shredded my nerves and devoured what very little patience Hyne had granted me to begin with. That damn high-pitched voice, her Rinoa-part-deux cheerfulness(although Rinoa had never been THIS bad, mind you), and her positively uncanny way of managing to irritate me with the stupidest of things.  
  
But I'm digressing. My point is, ever since she'd arrived here in Esthar nearly two months ago, things had just gone from bad to worse. NO, it wasn't bad enough that I was the commander(something I never really wanted to be, by the way) of a run-down Garden with only fourteen instructors to start out with, and an already-growing list of enrollees, already topping 300 at first go. No, I had to have someone come and spy on me whom I couldn't tolerate for even the smallest fraction of a second.  
  
This was something I thought of often, when I was in particularly vengeful moods............. No, wait, that was just about always, so let's just say that I thought of this when I was in a particularly vengeful mood about something the little messenger girl had done................... No, wait, that was just about always, too........... Well, you get my drift.  
  
But I'd sit back and wonder why in Hyne's name Squall couldn't have either sent someone A.)whom I did not know, and thus would not have been able to recognize; or B.)someone I could at least tolerate, someone who's utter benevolence alone would not be the death of me.  
  
Answer to part A---Squall's an idiot. This much anyone could deduce. Answer to part B---Squall hates me. Once again, even the most simple-minded of folk(discluding the Chickenwuss, I don't really consider him to be human at all) could deduce this. Either that, or he was smarter than I had imagined, and had thus sent l'il ol' Selphie Tilmitt down here to bug the shit outta me, and thus succeed in my otherwisely unlikely surrender.  
  
You want to know the sad thing? It seems as though he's winning.  
  
As I yanked off my black leather gloves and hurled them most violently at some unknown destination in the room(I'd have a helluva time finding them tomorrow, and thus receive the now-standard lecture from Tilmitt---"This wouldn't happen if you'd clean your room..."---) and stared down at the abhorring little girl.  
  
This just somehow made me angrier.(Ugh.....this is foul shit, this. The little brat fell asleep in my lap!) Then again, I'm always angry about something. All those dorky kids in the orphanage, Squall, sitting on top of this crappy kingdom I shouldn't even have the right to rule, Squall, failing my SeeD exam 4 consecutive times in a row, Squall, women, Squall................you know how it is.  
  
Of course, that wasn't ENTIRELY true. Squall was definitely NOT the biggest problem on my hands right now. The little messenger girl whom he had sent, was.(I could kill her, and just have maintenence clear out her body...........but then they might quit. I've never had them dispose of dead PEOPLE bodies, at any rate. So killing is out.)  
  
Once again, not entirely true. Not about the killing part, I mean. About the WANTING to kill her part. I think I'm starting to lose my thrill for blood lust, sad though that is. It hadn't really STARTED anytime I could remember; I'd never really liked killing nor death. It was just something ya had to do.  
  
Okay, so the basic concensus now is WHAT? It can think? It has actual thoughts and dreams and emotions? Heh, hard to believe, ain't it?  
  
So I here was staring down at the little messenger girl and wondering why she suddenly wasn't so happy anymore. I mean, HELLO HERE, PEOPLE? You all saw it, didn't you? I GAVE her the chance to go back to fun-happy Balamb!  
  
Then again............(and this is so pathetic I can't believe I haven't hit myself for it, yet)..............I hadn't really wanted her to leave. Oh, fuck off! It's sure as hell not what YOU think! The kids adored her, and I'd secured fifteen different private sponsors ever since that little night trip we took to Esthar, where she'd fawned all over the President and fell down a flight of steps.  
  
Heh...........one of the more interesting times in my life, I will admit. As a matter of fact, a LOT of the more interesting times in my life had occured after she'd arrived, with her stupid bouncy-curled hair and those green eyes like lettuce gone horribly, horribly wrong.  
  
Alright, Hyne dammit, I will grant you one thing, and one thing only:she WAS kinda cute. But I mean, if you were to put her pros and cons on a scale and see which side tipped first, her few pros that she did have would be shot upward so fast they probably wouldn't even stay on the scale, and thus fly out the window.  
  
So, you knew about my dreams. And you're all thinking:'What a dumb retard asshole! Like, there's a such thing as saying NO, ya know?', and I wouldn't exactly blame you for it. But it all started once I read this dumb screenplay called 'The Sorceress Knight' and actually kinda LIKED the damn thing. I'm not some nerdy lit buff, but I do know how to read(once again, another one of my forthcomings over the Chickenwuss), and the thing kinda appealed to me.  
  
It hadn't always been one of my dreams, don't get me wrong. I'm not even sure WHAT the hell my dreams were before that. And, now that I think on it more clearly this night with the full moon shining overhead and a stupid messenger girl asleep in my lap, I think that I've come to realize that being a Sorceress Knight wasn't really my dream at all. Or, perhaps more correctly, it WAS my dream, that is; until I had finally fufilled it and realized that it wasn't at all like I had had it planned out to be.  
  
No, Edea had me defending her honor and ideas senselessly. Same with Adel, and Ultimecia, really. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Mental note to self:HIT SELF.  
  
I did so, not too hard though, because I didn't want to wake up Tilmitt. Like, if I did, she might start TALKING again, in that whiny voice of hers.  
  
Still, that got me to thinking. WAS I just bashing her uselessly, because I felt so bitter and self-righteous about myself? I decided to weigh the options. On one hand, she was annoying, cheerful, and believed in treating everyone with the same degree of humanity(everyone minus me, it seemed); on the other, she was pretty, brave, open-minded, friendly, and, with a small dosage of wonder training from the world's best blademaster(aka, ME), would soon turn out to be a pretty strong gunblade mistress.  
  
Woah. Not being very well accustomed to math(I was never very dilligent in any of my classes save combat, notice), I counted up the figures on my hand. Whistled softly. It seemed that, contrary to popular belief, the pros were massively outweighing the cons. I wondered vaguely if I'd made an error, and counted again. Nope. I wasn't on crack, or demonstrating my mathematical shortcomings. She really WAS a lot better than what I'd been making her out to be.  
  
Hmmm. I should think on this.  
  
A thought that entered my mind most roguely(as my thoughts tend to do) was how much I wanted my coat back. Kids have their security blankets, I got my kick-ass trenchcoat. Oh, shut up. I'm not a kid, friggin' bastards. It was the only allusion I could really come up with on the spot. Like I said, lit wasn't really my thing.  
  
I don't even remember where the thing came from. Rather, I knew how I GOT it, but not how Matron had got it. Mmmm............Matron. She knew all of my secrets, every last one. It seemed like I couldn't hide a thing from her. If I got stung by a bee or got hurt doing something retarded and recklessly dangerous, she'd always find out. And, from my mother, she'd found out how I was actually the king of this place called Palan'de'leiya, otherwise known as the Dollet Dukedom.  
  
This got me to thinking about myself, which was never a good thing. Sometimes, I really hated myself. Whether it was for the arrogant bastard I used to be, or the weak bastard I had become, I never really knew. I thought to ask Tilmitt, but she was sleeping and her voice was so high- pitched and I already knew what she thought of me, so it would just be redundancy.  
  
And around her neck was my necklace, the one with the flaming sword of Dollet on the front and the message from my mother on the back. And of course that just made me think about why I gave it to her in the first place.  
  
To make her shut up? Because it had started getting that weird odor on it from wearing it in the shower all the time? Maybe, just because I had told her the simple truth---that I was tired of knowing who I was?  
  
Who knew? Who cared? It would remain one of life's greatest mysteries. Point was, it was hers now. I decided I didn't really like that feeling, and thought to possibly ask for it back. It was this strange feeling, like she owned a part of ME, or that we were somehow connected in this bizarre, convoluted sort of way.  
  
Then again, I'm no re-gifter. I give things for keeps. And, even if that wasn't the truth, it was at least something I could tell myself and force myself to believe it to be the truth, so that my mind would be at rest.  
  
I felt myself growing tired, and glanced at the clock. Well, it's 3AM and I must be lonely.............not. The practical side of me took over and kicked the crap outta the other side, which is just plain dark and twisted and positively evil.  
  
(Sleep...........)it called.(Got the missile base mission tomorrow, and Tilmitt's hardly ready to work with that Chandrakanan thing of hers, so you're gonna have to do most of the work.............)  
  
Not surprising. Besides, I had grown accustomed to running off of small amounts of sleep. I considered waking up the little messenger girl and moving up to my hammock, but I dropped it. Bitchy girls are the last thing I need screwing up my mission.  
  
So, I just dropped down across the bed, still being weighted down by her not-so-bulky bulk, and tried to go to sleep. With a sudden feeling of nicety(I think they called it something like 'tenderness', I'm not sure) that was most unlike me, I brushed a few stray hairs back from her forehead, where her face was still blotchy. And, I kissed it lightly.  
  
Oh, please. Vomit. Note to self:HIT SELF.  
  
Enh. I'd do it in the morning.  
  
  
  
  
  
AN~*taps foot impatiently*146, 147, 148, 149......AHA! 150!!!!!*cheers* NOW I CAN POST THIS!!!!!!! Okay, thanx to all my loyal reviewers! A last-minute chapter dedication to Chrissy, for being my 150th reviewer!!! Sweet! I like this part, actually. Seifer's POV...........interesting.......... I like the humor, it was so bizarre it was funny........plus the direct narrative, which wasn't exactly what Selphie did......she did some sort of abstract narrating......maybe I should go back and change that..............*goes off into her own little world* ~tiger~*is off in her own little world* 


	12. Some Completely Boring, Unhelpful, and T...

Hey! I Could Be A Messenger From Hyne, Ya Know!- A Misadventurous Romance Story  
  
Chapter Twelve-Some Completely Boring, Unhelpful, and Totally Pointless Shit  
  
  
  
AN~Mweh heh heh. Like the chapter name? Oh, by the way....*taps foot impatiently* 172, 173, 174, 175......... Okay! 175 reviews! Well, you're starting to see a pattern now, aren't you? Basically, a consistency with the amount of reviews I require before I update again. I know it just sounds like I'm using this as an excuse to either make your lives miserable by waiting for updates or get as many reviews as possible, but it's really not true. The truth is, I want to be sure that new people are constantly checking out this story, not just the same old regular people(even though I love you guys, too!^_^). So, tell everyone you know to check this out! If I get 25 'regulars' who keep reviewing every chapter, then you won't have to find new people! LoL. Anyways, on with the fic. The missile base mission this chapter, everyone! Yay! How's that for coolness? Okay, I know I'm retarded. Read on, everyone! ~tigerofthewind~  
  
  
  
  
  
The next morning dawned, with the sun shining in from the east and illuminating my room. It was this early-morning sun, the type that glows more red than yellow. The whole mess that was my room looked like it was on fire.  
  
I blinked my eyes slowly, just to check and make sure that it actually WASN'T on fire. I mean, that had happened once when I'd been smoking my occasional cigarette, and had forgotten to stub it out in the ashtray.  
  
Oh, please. Don't get started on that whole "smoking is bad for you!" thing. Like, I do what I want? Got a problem with that?!  
  
Anyway, the rather intrusive sunlight had fully awakened me. I wondered something:why the HELL didn't I have some sort of way to prevent this from happening? Note to self:GET BLINDS.  
  
Blinked some more. Tried to sit up. Found my passage arrested by something warm and soft, but decidingly gangly. Oh, great. Tilmitt. I'd forgotten the not-so-minor detail that I'd let her fall asleep against me, all curled up like the retarded midget she was.  
  
I think, if it had been any day but today, I probably would have given her a nice good shove onto the floor to remind her that my generous amount of common courtesy(What? It WAS generous, people!) was clearly wasted on her. But, seeing as how today was the day of our ultimate demise, I figured I'd let it slip.  
  
Ultimate demise?! What the hell was I talking about?! That was very uncool of me. Of COURSE we weren't gonna die!  
  
So, I made a highly audible grunting noise and pushed her onto the floor, feigning sleep like it was an accident.  
  
Her lack of reaction was a bit disappointing, I'll admit, but it didn't really matter, because she woke me up anyway.  
  
"Hey,"she whispered, pushing at my arm."Hey, come on, sleepyhead. We've got a lot to do---"  
  
"Yeah, yeah, I know,"I muttered, not really looking forward to it. Stupid traitorous Galbadians. I used to RULE their asses! And now......well, I didn't want to think about that. Sitting up, I stretched out my back, hearing the satisfying crack and the satisfying wince that crossed Tilmitt's face.  
  
"Apparently you enjoy inflicting pain not only onto others, but also on yourself,"she commented, straightening out her Garden skirt as best as she could.  
  
"Of course,"I replied somberly. Duh! Something in her face altered a bit, but I couldn't tell what it was. I wondered if that happened whenever my mother said something to her in her mind.  
  
Mmmm........Mother. Once again, the semi-comfortable(at least sane, I'll warrant you that) belief that my mother had died a coward and was gone from my life forever had been shattered in a mere matter of seconds. What was more, her presence was now currently occupying the single-handedly most useless person I had ever known.  
  
But that's not the point. The point is, it wasn't that. If I hadn't been so doped up from lack of sleep, I probably would have said otherwise, but I could've sworn that the look that crossed her face was a look of gratitude.  
  
"Well, even until the very end, you're still the same old Seifer,"was all she said. Pah! Like I'd let her think I was scared, anyway.  
  
Don't get me wrong, losers! I WASN'T scared! But even if I was, you think I'd let HER know?! Heh......the thought was too ridiculous to even ponder.  
  
I had gone to grab for my coat where it was usually hanging off the wall, only to remember that it wasn't there. Hmmm...... Despite myself, I had to shiver. It seemed like an ill omen, that. For as long as I could remember, I'd never gone into a single battle without that Dolletian coat.  
  
Of course, it didn't do me a great deal of luck with it ON, either, so maybe it was for the best.  
  
It wasn't until I had checked my junctioning that I realized that Tilmitt and I had no clue what the HELL we were doing. Sure, it seemed easy enough. Infiltrate the abandoned missile base, and stop the missiles. Clear-cut goal---with no idea how to achieve it.  
  
I sighed. We were so screwed.  
  
Tilmitt must've heard me(damn!), even though she mistook it's meaning for something else."I don't blame you for being tired,"she said, all bright and cheery and happy-like, considering how we may very well have been walking to our deaths. No, wait! What did I say about that?! Grrr. I seemed to be at an arguement with myself."I feel ready to drop dead on the spot."  
  
(Well, I'm not that lucky),I reflected ruefully, my only outward expression being a disinterested shrug."Let's go."  
  
'The Esthar missile base(currently abandoned) has at it's current disposal over 35 long-range missiles, 5 of those being atomic. Such an arsenal was ordered by President Laguna Loire as a last-means resort to fighting Sorceress Ultimecia, but was never used. Now it has become derelict. The base itself lies hidden behind heavy forests in the Millefeuille Archipelago, in the easternmost regions of Esthar.'  
  
Enh. Some completely boring, unhelpful, and totally pointless shit. Those damn tutorials always were filled with stuff that like. I really felt like I needed a drink. And you know? I don't even drink!  
  
Tilmitt was getting fidgety, looking out the window and biting her lip anxiously. She was making these constant little bouncing movements in her seat, not only causing the car to rock back and forth, but diverting my attention from the road, as well.  
  
Bounce, bounce, bounce. Throb, throb, throb. Such was the pattern of her body and my vision, until I couldn't take it anymore.  
  
"STOP DOING THAT!!!"I roared, making a sudden U-turn in the road with much squealing of wheels, to end up on the other side of the road. She stopped bouncing and stared at me, wide-eyed. I squinched my eyes shut and counted to ten, taking deep breaths and trying to penetrate the red that had covered my vision.  
  
Breaking my thoughts, came a high-pitched, squeaky laugh."You look so FUNNY when you're trying to calm down!"  
  
I decided to mess with her mind, and put on an expression of outward calm."And you look so wonderful..........."  
  
Success! Her eyes starting getting big..........  
  
"................when I envision you spontaneously combusting in all directions!"I shouted, irritation back on my face again. She dropped back into her seat and crossed her arms across her chest, petulant.  
  
"You are such a butthead!"she muttered, but at least she stopped the infernal bouncing. Ramming the car rather violently into gear, I drove on.  
  
The trail wasn't that hard to find. I mean, since the Galbadians were complete and utter shitbricks, they left their trail to the base completely open. Hey..........more accurately, why the HELL were they out here, anyway?! It was something that had escaped my mind. Why didn't they just use their own damn missile base.........?  
  
I sifted through the holes in my memory, an aftereffect of both the stupid GFs(which I still used, sometimes in the hope that I'd forget all about being the Sorceress Knight) and Ultimecia's manipulation.  
  
Ugh............manipulation. I hated that fucking term. It made me sound like I was just some puppet being forced to dance on strings. Which wasn't entirely true, you understand. True, there were some times I did things that I wouldn't really have done of my own will(shoving Rinoa into Adel like that and turning against my posse were one, kidnapping Elle was another), but I first went with Edea on my own. And that, was the truth.  
  
So, I couldn't exactly recall what in Hyne's name had happened to the Galbadian's missile base. Feeling rather curious(or else I wouldn't have even bothered asking), I inquired as such of Tilmitt.  
  
Her look was one of calculating confusion(most bizarre, at that)."You don't KNOW?"  
  
Now I was just getting impatient."If I knew, then why the HELL would I be asking you, you worthless crack?!"  
  
She didn't even get angry, merely frowned thoughtfully."When you............"She took a breath and started over. I wondered what the hell HER problem was."When you fired the missiles at Trabia, I didn't want the same thing to happen to Balamb."She said that part in a hurry; trying to spare my feelings, I guess. Mfft. What feelings?"So, I went to the Galbadian missile base in the hopes of trying to stop that from happening. Well, I guess I kinda got carried away, 'cuz....."She turned a bit red before continuing."......I set the self-destruct mechanism for the base. I put it on 30 minutes so we'd be safe, but then we got attacked and the soldiers locked us inside, and it really seemed like we were going to die."She shuddered."It was really scary."  
  
Then she was all sunshine and smiles again."But, we used the very machine they attacked us with to stay safe from the explosion, and managed to make it back to Squall and the others, who had gone on ahead to warn everyone about the missiles. No one was even hurt!"  
  
.....Damn. Another one of my plans, thwarted again. I wondered why they couldn't just die."......Oh. Just wonderin', I guess."  
  
I had too many other things on my mind.  
  
Before I could even fathom what was happening, the Esthar missile base loomed up ahead, trying to look foreboding in the shade from the trees. Hah. TRYING to look foreboding; nothing scared me and nothing ever would.  
  
Something moving in the back of the Esthar army truck caught my attention. Oh, joy. (What lies beneath?)I wondered, almost bored. I fingered Hyperion propped up against the seat beside me.(A freak ambush? A procession of Estharian minstrels? The whole Dolletian Parliament?)  
  
Wait, I didn't want to think about that last part. Damn Dollet and their ineffectual form of government. I slammed on the brakes(not really a necessity; I just wanted to give Tilmitt a nice little shock) and spun around to lift up a tarp that was in the back, Hyperion already drawn.  
  
"What? What is it?"I heard Tilmitt's squeaky voice inquire of me. She was scratching at my shoulder, trying to use me as a lever to haul herself over the seat. It was kinda funny, watching her struggle.  
  
I sighed, let the tarp drop, and settled back into my seat."Student No. 1014, Vienna Loire."  
  
"WHAT?!"There were a few muffled thumps, and I could hear Tilmitt grunt as she managed to throw her petite upper body over the back of the seat and yank up the tarp. A muffled gasp, and another thump as she fell back over the seat into me, her elbows digging into my stomach."Vienna! What are you DOING back there?"  
  
"Watch your damn elbows, Tilmitt!"I shouted at her, picking her up at arm's length(good thing she was so light). Her eyes enlarged fit to pop out of her head, and I had to laugh, shaking my head. Rather uncermoniously dropping her into her seat, I turned around coolly and sat cross-legged on the seat, facing Esthar's little First Daughter.  
  
"S-Sir, I---"  
  
Good. She had reason to be scared."Loire, explain."I put on my no- nonsense voice that had terrorized older and braver students than she. It had more than the desired effect; her eyes started rolling around in her head and she bgan gibbering nonsense. I wondered if I'd gone TOO far, seeing as students had never actually had SEIZURES at a mere question from me. Well, I guess there was always a first.  
  
Tilmitt poked me."Are you sure she's okay?"  
  
I scanned through her report as if I was actually on the IGN itself, so prominent was my visual memory."No records of health problems aside from a slight case of paranoia. Maybe this's a result of that?"So confused was I, that I actually let knowledge of the fact that I DIDN'T actually know everything in the world slip.  
  
At that moment, Loire ceased her incoherent ramblings and got herself under control."S-Sir, I-I w-w-was w-walking along w-when I s-saw you a-and Instructor T-Tilmitt get into th-the c-car a-and I-I-I th-th-th- thought......"  
  
She looked to be on the verge of tears. Almost inperceptibly, I nodded at Tilmitt, and she leaned over the back of the seat again to put an hand on Loire's arm reassuringly.  
  
"It's okay,"she said, ever the optimist."Commander Almasy and I aren't MAD at you---"she could speak for herself, I was pissed---"we just want to know what you're doing here."  
  
That seemed to get her under control again."I thought I-I'd follow y- you,"she stammered, looking down at her lap."Something'd b-been bothering m- me for awhile, a-and I..........."  
  
Hmmm. Well, did THAT sound familiar? 'You see................something'd been bothering me.' Had to give her credit. I raised my eyebrows, ever-so- slightly."I'm impressed, Loire. Not many people have instincts that are as well honed as yours, and if they do, they rarely ever take them to heart. .........Impressive."  
  
She didn't look remotely pleased, only as though she were waiting for something bad to happened. I figured; why disappoint her? So I added:"But you DID.............."  
  
I stopped; frowned. Truthfully, I couldn't think of a single thing she'd done wrong. Well, a single thing that was stated as Garden policy, at least. I mean, interrupting a deadly mission and a gross invasion of privacy was one thing---  
  
DEADLY mission?! Shit, I'd forgotten about that! The missiles were due to shoot off at any time! I couldn't take her back! But I couldn't bring her WITH us, Hyne no! Grrr, why does all this shit have to happen to me?!  
  
"Got him, Vienna!"Tilmitt was saying, and gave Loire a high-five. I sighed. Women.  
  
"Well, you're just gonna have to come along with us and die, then,"I said nonchalantly, whirling around to face the front of the car and starting it up again. Tilmitt frowned; Loire looked scared again.  
  
"Where're we going?"she asked, this time managing to keep her stuttering under control.  
  
I slammed on the accelerator."Esthar missile base."  
  
"But WHY?"  
  
I wondered if the vein throbbing on my forehead was visible, because Tilmitt took over from there."Seifer found out about a Galbadian plan to shoot missiles at our Garden,"she admitted quietly."They're planning to use this abandoned missile base, so we're going to go stop it."  
  
"Oh..........."And Loire did the most surprising thing she'd ever done in her life.  
  
She sat up resolutely, and drew her Nemeris."..................I'll help."  
  
If the car veered a little at those words, I blame it on EHA, the Esthar Highway Administration. It's not that I was SURPRISED, I'm never surprised.  
  
But I mean, come on! LOIRE actually slipping out from behind her blatant cowardice and offering to FIGHT? Damn, our situation must be a lot graver than what I thought it was.  
  
Tilmitt smiled."Thanks, Vienna. But it's gonna be dangerous. It's your first time fighting real combat, isn't it?"A nod."Then, I'll give you a few hints before we start.........."  
  
I inadvertantly rolled my eyes. This was going to be a helluva trip. Well, I certainly didn't intend to stand around all day and wait for my baggage to finish their girl chat.  
  
The two guards didn't stand a chance. I was on them faster than flies to a dung pile, and I don't think they even had time to draw their crappy and ineffectual battle swords before they were dead.  
  
Hyperion glowed red, as Tilmitt and Loire darted in behind me. I knew enough about computers and network systems to be able to dismantle the missiles on my own, but I was having too much fun dismantling Galbadian soldiers, so I let the two girls take it from there. It was a good chance for me to test out my skills; one of these days, I'd beat Squall in ungilded combat.  
  
"I'll take care of the missiles!"Tilmitt shouted, and I could've sworn she was BOUNCING as she went by. She always bounced; I wondered if it was an accidental thing."I've been through something like this before, it's second nature to me! Back in a flash!"  
  
There was fighting all around us. And by us, I mean in the sense of me and Loire, who had stayed behind to 'help'. The truth was, she wasn't much 'help'. And I didn't need any 'help'. Hyperion flashed it's death light as it clove the air, and I could see the little First Daughter struggling along behind me. I wondered how Tilmitt was doing. It wasn't as though I was WORRIED, and if I was, I was just worried that she might screw up royally and send us all to hell.  
  
"Ahhhh!"I heard a scream.(Oh, great. Loire's in trouble. Just like I figured she would be.) She was trying to fend off a Galbadian soldier with a clumsy, one-handed parry, and if it weren't for the sheer incompetence of the army, she would have long since been dead.  
  
There was fighting all around as I plowed my way towards her, shouting over the din:"FOR HYNE'S SAKE, LOIRE, CAST A SPELL!!!!!"  
  
I could hear a squeak that was barely audible over the crowd."U-Ultima!"  
  
Twenty soldiers around her were obliterated in a blast of green light. I wondered vaguely where the hell she got an Ultima spell. And, more correctly, how she'd managed to knock out half of our enemies just by casting it. MY magic was up to 255, and I still couldn't perform that feat yet.  
  
(Well, no time to ponder.)I sliced through one more idiot who was running around screaming:"Long live Dictator Powell!" or some crap like that. If we were going to make a clean-cut exit, Tilmitt had better hurry up soon.  
  
Loire had finally discovered an area of battle in which she was actually USEFUL in, and thus stood behind me casting all sorts of fun-happy spells while I finished off the remainder of our enemies. 'Twas a shame, really, they'd once looked up to me as they had this 'Dictator Powell' guy who was planning my untimely demise.  
  
About ten more left to go."Rapture!"I heard a voice cry from off to my left, in a high-pitched, squeaky trademark I knew so well. And thus was the end of the Galbadians.  
  
Tilmitt appeared, looking more than a little worse for the wear. A few cuts straggled down the sides of her face, and all up and down her arms and legs. Not to mention the countless numbers I probably COULDN'T see. Loire didn't look much better, and I supposed I didn't, either.  
  
"T-T-Triple!"panted Vienna, casting the support spell on me, and I picked up her slack.  
  
"Curaga."The swirling beads of blue and white light encompassed my vision, and I instantly felt better. Tilmitt gave out a sigh of relief.  
  
"Phew! We made it. I set the error ratio to the highest mark, so we should be okay."  
  
(SHOULD be.) But who was I to rain on their parade?  
  
And suddenly, everything blurred red. My first thought was that I had passed out, and had somehow fallen into the carnage on the floor. My second was that I was still standing, and that an alarm bell was ringing through my brain.  
  
'Self-destruct in 15 minutes. I repeat, all personnel evacuate the base immediately. Self-destruct in 15 minutes. I repeat, all---'  
  
Loire began to run. I wasn't quite sure whether to call her a coward or admire her intelligence. At this point in time, I was pretty much leaning towards the latter. I grabbed Tilmitt."What the hell are you waiting for?! Let's go!"  
  
Something akin to nostalgia had crossed her face, but at my shouting, she shook it off and darted into step behind me. And then I remembered.  
  
"YOU!"I shouted at her, wanting to stop and grab her and shake her until she turned blue, but refraining myself in the light of our more obvious peril."You set the self-destruct mechanism again, didn't you?! Dammit, Tilmitt! After you knew what---"  
  
This time, I stopped. Up ahead, the gates were closing."..............After you knew."I couldn't quite finish the sentence.  
  
She stepped up beside me, and it was then that I realized that the top of her head barely reached my shoulder."I didn't do it. Because I knew."  
  
Loire was running, turning around and shouting at us to hurry. Again, I grabbed Tilmitt by the arm and dragged her on ahead."Come on! We've still got a chance!"  
  
This seemed to spur her into action, and she actually managed to get AHEAD of me. Something told me she had more to fear than I did. She was even catching up to Loire, who'd had about a five-second head start.  
  
(The end.)  
  
The gates slammed shut.  
  
Tilmitt, who'd been running up ahead to put a race runner to shame, couldn't quite stop herself in time and bounced off the offending obstructions with a clang, falling to the ground. Loire was close behind her, and they lay on the ground on a heap.  
  
"Shi---!"I skidded to a stop, steel-toed boots nearly sending up sparks as I did so. The younger girl hastily climbed to her feet and began pounding on the door.  
  
"It's no use,"said Tilmitt quietly, propping herself up on her knees and staring blankly ahead."It's no use."  
  
(The end. Liberi fatali.)  
  
I knew ancient Centran; Matron had taught it to me.'Children of fate.' That was what I had thought. In a way, we were all bound.  
  
I shook my head hard. What the hell?! What was I getting all philosophical for?! We still had time! Life's a pain in the butt, so feed it raspberries, people! Loire had the same type of look on her face."There's still hope, Instructor T.! They wouldn't make just one exit out of here, would they?!"  
  
She stood up to face the two of us, and I thought she was finally going to get herself out of that pit of depression."Yes. They would. Especially if they knew this would happen."She closed her eyes."I feel sorry for those poor men.........."  
  
I saw what she meant, even if she didn't understand it. A few stragglers were standing near the gate with us, beating at it futilely. Where they had come from and how I had missed killing them from the start, I never knew. 'Twas a damn shame, when I couldn't even knock off a few poorly trained men.  
  
'If they knew this was going to happen................'  
  
And I knew. Galbadia had planned the whole thing. I frowned."Tilmitt."She looked up at me, not saying anything."Did you.............see the missiles?"  
  
She shook her head."..........No. I didn't go into that room."  
  
(One suspicion down, one more to go.)"Those computers said...................EHA on them.....didn't they?"  
  
A nod, a nod that sealed our doom and knowledge that our deaths would have been in vain."The Esthar Highway Administration."  
  
A response; she gasped."You're joking."And I shook my head sadly.  
  
"What, what's going on?"Poor, oblivious Vienna Loire.  
  
Something about her seemed to set Selphie's resolve."There might still be missiles coming,"she said, her voice still weak but her eyes starting to come back into focus."We don't know that knocking us off was their only objective. Kill two birds with one stone. Garden's still in danger!"  
  
(And this helps us...........how? All it'll do is set Loire into a panic.)  
  
I honestly don't think she had any idea what was going on. Basically, we were screwed. I had no way of warning Garden, all my communications were back at the car. We were all going to die. It was useless.  
  
No, for the last Hyne-accursed time! We WEREN'T going to die!  
  
"They shouldn't suffer,"muttered Tilmitt distractedly, pacing around and glancing at the nine soldiers still standing by the gate."I mean, at least this way..........."  
  
She looked over at me, and I knew what she wanted me to do.  
  
"..........Loire."The ever-so-obedient First Daughter scurried over to me. She looked a little scared at the serious look on my face. I put my hands on her shoulders, meaning to be commanding or kind I have no idea."Turn around and cast Triple on me."  
  
She never even asked questions, just did what I asked of her."Triple!"  
  
(Why do I fight? Why do I try?)I looked at those men, and tried to tell myself it would be better for them this way. At least then they would never know how they had been betrayed.  
  
"Death. Death. Death."  
  
Fwish, fwish, fwish. The other men began to shout.  
  
"No! Please, sir!"  
  
"Hyne, please!"  
  
"We were only under Dictator Powell's orders!"  
  
"No! For the love of Hyne, DON'T!!!!!!!"  
  
I closed my eyes."Death. Death. Death." Fwish, fwish, fwish.(Even heroes have to do things they don't want to do, sometimes.)  
  
(..............And that is why I'm no fucking hero.)  
  
They say last time pays all."Death. Death. Death."And Loire began to scream.  
  
She rushed at me with her fists, dropping her Nemeris on the ground and beating futilely at my chest, screaming all sorts of obscenities at me. The last of the men dropped to the ground, their faces stretched open in the blank stares of death. Without even thinking, I pinned Loire's arms to her sides and held her there, until she finally gave up and fell back against me, sobbing blindly.  
  
I had forgotten that she was only fourteen.  
  
Tilmitt dropped Chandrakanan and twirled her Strange Vision around expertly. She looked over at me."You know what to do."  
  
Again, liberi fatali. I did know, and dug around in my pockets for the key. The key that would send Esthar Garden into flight. I looked down at Loire and took her hand, dropping the heavy gold key into it before closing it back into a fist. Our hope rested with Vienna Loire.  
  
Sad, ain't it?  
  
Tilmitt was twirling her Strange Vision again."I can get the two of you back to safety.............even if my own life is forfeit."  
  
Surprisingly, I reacted first."No way! You're coming with us!"  
  
Loire gasped, but clutched the key tightly."No, Instructor T.!"  
  
She was already casting the spell. Bluish-purple angel wings attached themselves to Loire and she floated out of the doomed non-existent missile base and away. I turned to her."Alright, Tilmitt, let's go."  
  
Selphie smiled at me sadly."It won't work. I can't cast Rapture on myself."  
  
Ten minutes.  
  
"You can't even try?!"  
  
"........Of course I've tried. It's never worked."Again, that smile."It's alright. I don't mind."  
  
I snorted disbelief at this."You, the great lover of life, WANTING to die?"  
  
She began to shake, and her eyes filled with tears."I don't WANT to die! I NEVER want to die! But you know what?! If it'll save everyone else, then it's something I'll do! I won't drag you down into this with me!"  
  
(Why? You've enjoyed ruining my life on 13 separate occasions as far as I could tell. Why now?)  
  
I went up to her and put my arms around her. Or, rather, ATTACHED myself to her. No sentiments here, people. NONE.".......All right. Give it a try now."  
  
A faint glimmer of hope."You think it'll work?"  
  
I shrugged."Anything's better than sittin' around here bein' useless and retarded."  
  
"Okay............... Rapture!"  
  
I felt the wings attach, it was never really easy to explain how they attached and what it felt like, you just knew that they were there. Flapped, lifted, flapped, flapped.............  
  
We were about ten feet in the air when the wings suddenly vanished, and Tilmitt and I crashed down to earth. Just as my nonexistent luck would have it, I was on the bottom.  
  
And Tilmitt began to cry."W-We're DEAD!"she sobbed, beating at me once again with her head."We're gonna die and it's ALL YOUR FAULT!"  
  
"How so?"  
  
"Because---because---you're so friggin' CALM, and it's busting up my rhythm!"That was a very UN-Selphie-like statement. I couldn't help but laugh. The lights were still going off on my head. Still, the next thing she said made my blood run cold.  
  
"................I could have saved them."  
  
She was, of course, referring to the guards that I had rather hurriedly slaughtered without giving any chances to defend themselves. I knew what she meant, though. Seeing Loire rush at me like that..........it really got me to thinking, something I avoided doing too much. Thinking too much would just make me look like Quisty.  
  
(Why do we do the things we do? What if some things were never meant to be, and others, no matter what other events happen around them, will always come to pass?)Before I even knew what was happening, words were coming out of my mouth."It's alright. I'm the one who'll face eternal darkness in Nemeris, and blah, blah, blah. Well, at least I'll see Mother, then."  
  
Up until then, I had avoided thinking about my mother. Tilmitt sighed."I miss Allanna."  
  
I snorted ruefully and pulled her into a hug. We were going to die anyway, might as well ease her mind."Me, too."  
  
Five minutes.  
  
The base began to rumble and shake. So did Tilmitt."I-It's starting."  
  
All it did was give me a headache. Pah! Bring on your crappy not-at-all- intimidating shaking! Although I really felt like I needed a cigarette, and I hadn't smoked in years.  
  
Hmmm. The first time I'd lit one up, on that day down at the beach. A long time ago. I couldn't remember a lot of it.  
  
(No, wait...........that's not right. Those two older kids were TRYING to get me to smoke, and I didn't..........why?)  
  
More accurately, WHO CARED?! This was the point I seemed to be missing.  
  
"You're not scared."  
  
No, I wasn't. NOTHING scared me; could she have forgotten that so easily?"Of course not."I decided to drop the 'holier-than-thou' bullshit and for once in my life, be honest with her."I don't fear death. I mean, it's not as though I WANT to die, but..........I'm not scared of it, either."  
  
"..............I wish I could be that brave."  
  
(Or stupid.)But I chose not to say anything.  
  
"I'll cast Rapture on just you, then."But she didn't move, and I really didn't think she would unless I asked her to.  
  
"I don't care. Save your energy."  
  
Three minutes.  
  
"You know, I always admired you."  
  
(Hmph.)"..........Really."  
  
"Yeah..........I guess I couldn't help it. I wanted to fight with a gunblade for as long as I could remember, and seeing you and Squall be able to do it so well............. I was never really a match."A pause."I sparred with Squall, once. Naturally, I lost. When he didn't say anything, not even a compliment, just walked away, I started to cry. And I stopped my training."Another pause."I don't know why I'm remembering this now. And........well, why I'm telling it to YOU."  
  
"No one else left to tell, I guess."I cast around for something nice to say about her. 'Twas only proper."You always were...................bouncy."(What? Lack of a better word.)  
  
"Bouncy?"A shaky laugh."I guess that's the best I can expect, coming out of you."This time when she paused, I wasn't sure if she was going to talk again. If anything, I was HOPING she wouldn't."..................I never admired Irvine as much as I admired you. I mean, he said all the right, flowery things to me, but...........well, he seemed so aimless, so indecisive. You always knew what you wanted."  
  
(Hah, and got it, too.)".....So?"  
  
"I guess I liked that, that's all. And after awhile, I realized that I was getting too far in over my head, that Irvine was constantly............well, BOUNCING around from one stage of our relationship to the other. That's what made me talk about all this, when you said I was bouncy. It was funny; I thought that Irvine was the head of that department."  
  
"And you know what else is funny? How much I could care less."  
  
She didn't get mad, in fact, she LAUGHED! That's right, LAUGHED, and just burrowed herself deeper into my chest, like some sort of infectious bug."How much you could care less.......... Ha, ha, ha..........same old Seifer, even 'til the end..........."She exhaled largely."Thanks. I'm glad you're with me."  
  
For some reason, because I wasn't entirely paying enough attention to stop myself, I laughed, too."Can't think of anyone else I'd rather die with."  
  
I couldn't see her, but I FELT her smile. And then, the buzzing started in my head.  
  
One minute.  
  
And everything went white.  
  
  
  
  
  
AN~Sheez! Finally, after much, much ado, this chapter is out!*explodes from the effort*Meep. Well, the truth is, I liked the beginning of the chapter, then the sap at the end really got on my nerves.*growls* Well, I guess it can't be helped. Recommendation:go check out 'Sweet 'n' Sour' by PinkStarz and 'Gummybears' by SouthwestEggRoll(even though I'm sure everyone has already read those fics plus dozens more). They're both Selfers! Selfers rule.*smile* Anywhosen, I have NO IDEA what the next part is going to be about.(Well, I do, sorta.) So, any suggestions? Let me know! AND, I'll think of another prize for my 200th reviewer! So let's get to 200! ~Vereor Veritas~, ~*~tigerofthewind~*~ 


	13. Siddown, Fool!

Hey! I Could Be A Messenger From Hyne, Ya Know!- A Misadventurous Romance Story  
  
Chapter Thirteen-Siddown, Fool!(Loire)  
  
  
  
AN~Phew! I know, I know! I'm well aware of the fact that I said I'd update by 200 reviewers, and that indeed I've got 230 by now, but I can't help it! New ideas called me, and were horribly refuted. It seems as though HICB is my only popular and enjoyed story, so I might as well say to hell with creativity and finish up this. Yeah, I know there's a cliffhanger at the end of chapter twelve that won't be refuted or concluded until a while from now, just to make everyone wonder. Deal with it. Instead, we've got a fun- fun happy little interlude by everyone's favorite First Daughter, Vienna Loire!(By the way, she's the one narrating this chapter). I realized a few things weren't quite right about her. Namely, her background isn't really explained. Also, her character isn't quite developed yet. And, I'm not entirely sure what I want to do with Selphie and Seifer yet. Henceforth, this chapter is created. Sit back and enjoy(for this is one of the few stories I've written that people actually DO enjoy)! ~tiger~  
  
  
  
  
  
It had all started with my rabbit, whom I'd named Mr. Pinkers and dressed in a pink floppy hat and painted his claws a pretty pretty shade of red. Mr. Pinkers was my one true friend, and we would sit outside and have tea, and I'd wear a matching bonnet and dress and we would talk about the weather and Daddy's affairs of state while Mother watched from the veranda. The sun would be shining, and a few butterflies would join us in our discussions.  
  
Mr. Pinkers had two enemies, the Castaleon brothers(pronounced cah-STUH- LEE-UN, they would often chastize people who wouldn't say it correctly). There were two, as I've noted, the elder was called Biers and the younger was called Pax. Biers was three years older than me, Pax my senior by a mere year, but they acted as though they were old enough to be adults.  
  
Or, perhaps conversely, they acted as though they were overgrown children. I found Mr. Pinkers next to the road, squashed flat, with a basket next to him with Easter eggs rolling out onto the street. Propped up on a tree was a sign that said:"Sorry kids, no Easter this year!".  
  
I remember running away and crying, while Biers laughed up a storm, stamping his feet and spinning around in a circle. But Pax.............  
  
Pax had run after me, caught me by the arms and gave me a hug, said that he was sorry. Then he said that he loved me, and would continue to do so forever.  
  
Well, not quite in those exact words. "Vienna, I think I like you as much as grownups like each other............an' I don't know how long it'll go on, but I think it will until I get impaled on a fence spike or get run over like your poor wabbit.............. I'm sowwy about yer wabbit."  
  
I think I was all of seven years old.  
  
But that's when it had all started, my friendship with Pax. We'd grown up next door, gone to the same snooty academies, been kicked out of the same snooty academies(although for varying reasons, I will admit---Pax for his pranks and me for my sheer stupidity); always together.  
  
And then, we came to Esthar Garden. And I learned that I hadn't passed my entrance exam.  
  
I tell you, it was the saddest moment of my life. I was going to be forced to go to a PUBLIC school, filled with mean kids I didn't know who would make fun of me just because I was the President's daughter and there wouldn't even be any Pax there to be there for me!  
  
So I made it my goal to find a way into Esthar Garden.  
  
Okay, so the tactics I used were a little unorthodox. By way in, I meant by ANY MEANS POSSIBLE. So it came to be that Commander Almasy had caught me sneaking in through the back gate wall, and I was in HUGE trouble.  
  
Or so I thought. Now that I think on it, it didn't really make any sense, what the Commander did. I was GRATEFUL for it, but.......well, it was strange. He'd simply sat me down, pinned me to the chair magically with that piercing stare of his, and asked me how I'd done it. How I'd managed to scale the 20 foot wall, and slip past the faculty.  
  
I told him, through and through---a grappling hook would suffice enough for the wall, and the incompetence of the faculty was his concern, not mine. Even more surprising than the fact that I'd been downright rude to an adult was Commander Almasy's reaction.  
  
He LAUGHED. Now, knowing him much better coming into my sixth month of training at Garden, I realized how completely ABSURD it was, but it was startling enough back then. While I sat there gaping like a Wendigo, he shook his head a little and shoved an entrance application across the desk towards me. After I'd filled it out, he declared my previous results on the exam null and void, and told me to go take another test; they were having them just down the hall.  
  
Thus was my entry into Esthar Garden. However, it wasn't as glorious as I'd envisioned it to be. All of the students there, believing that my father had somehow made a few calls and found a loophole for me to slip through, wouldn't speak to me except in insults.  
  
The saddest thing was, Pax believed it, too. I haven't spoken to him for a long time now, seeing as how he'd probably just drop me in the trash like the rest of the SeeDs. The only thing that kept me afloat was my desperation to become a SeeD. If I could pass my exams, become a full- fledged SeeD like my father wanted me to be, not only would I make him proud, but prove to the other students at Garden that I was perfectly capable of entering this school on my own. And maybe, just maybe...........get Branton to notice me.  
  
Okay, so I knew he had a girlfriend, whom I didn't like that much. Kendris. Everyone's favorite golden girl, with that stupid honey-blonde hair of hers and those dumb purple eyes. And the fact of the matter was, Branton wasn't even that CUTE! He had a gap between his two front teeth, and his nose and his ears were twice as big as the norm!  
  
So why give him the time of day? Because he's so FUNNY. I mean it, Branton can crack anyone up, him and Pan. Not to mention the fact that despite his klutziness(once, he fell down three consecutive flights of stairs without even meaning to) he really could charm anyone something terrible. It wasn't really his looks that drew me in, it was just his personality. And of course, that would be the only reason Kendris would give him the time of day.  
  
It was all just a conspiracy, anyway. The popular kids dated the popular kids, whether they truly liked them or not. Well, it wasn't as though I believed that Kendris DIDN'T like Branton, it just seemed kind of stupid for the reasons that she did.  
  
I'd overheard her once in the bathroom, while she was adjusting the pudding-filled balloons in her bra and hurriedly redrawing her eyebrows:"I don't know what it is about Branton, Mira. He just........I don't know, he makes me feel........more REAL, you know what I mean? Like, he's the only one who can see that part of me, that real me."  
  
PLEASE, people! There wasn't a part of Kendris ON HER that was real, for Hyne's sake! Everything from her dyed hair to her waxed legs was fake! And if by SOME MIRACLE, something could make her any less artificial, it sure as hell wouldn't be Branton Peradas!  
  
I jerked out of my stupor then, shaking my head and feeling utterly ridiculous as I remembered those things on a balmy day in November, fleeing for my very life from a rather unorthodox psuedo-missile base and leaving my doomed instructor and commander behind.  
  
I dashed back tears, wiping them quickly with the back of my hand before replacing them on the steering wheel of the red Dolletian Mist that Instructor T. and the commander had rented for our mission that wasn't really a mission. It seemed bizarre, how fast things had happened this day. As soon as I'd seen them jumping into the car with those serious looks on their faces, I'd dove in behind them, using tricks of light and shadows to conceal me, a trick Pax had taught me. And then, as we were driving along the road, I'd heard bits of pieces of their mission, and what they were trying to accomplish, until I finally got caught by Commander Almasy and offered to accompany them.  
  
It was strange, what made me do that. It hadn't been a desire to prove myself, as all my other advancements had. It hadn't been pure fear of what the commander would do to me if I refused. It hadn't been, surprisingly enough, the fact that the death stare of the commander had frightened me into doing whatever he wished.  
  
It had been, and this is the truth beyond all the truths that I've told you so far, the simple wish to help Commander Almasy and Instructor Tilmitt, and save our Garden.  
  
I slammed on the accelerator even harder, nearly running over a stray Torama in my haste, and sped onward down the dusty road that I'd so recently traveled back towards Garden.  
  
I heard a loud BOOM! behind me, and saw random bits of flaming debris fall from the sky like a heresy of rain, like the shattered lives of the two I'd left behind.  
  
But not anymore. I wouldn't let it go to waste. I had my own job to do, and that was enough. I sped onward down the dusty road that I'd so recently traveled back towards Garden.  
  
The road that Commander Almasy and Instructor Tilmitt would never travel again.  
  
  
  
**********************************************************************  
  
  
  
BINK! CLASH!  
  
(Heh heh, oops.)  
  
When I'd said earlier that I'd sped down the dusty road towards Garden, I really meant SPED. I mean, sped so damn fast I couldn't even stop when the gates to Esthar Garden loomed ahead of me, couldn't even stop when I nearly ran over some stray instructors and students coming back from a prerequisite exam, couldn't even stop until I crashed directly into the gates at a speed so fast I blasted them off their hinges and set them flying nearly as far as the Quad.  
  
Well, no matter now. The gates could be replaced; Garden itself and all the people that dwelt within could not. I leapt out of the car and skidded to a halt on the sidewalk before dashing down the long walkway that led to the inner facilities of Garden. Inside of my jacket pocket I could feel the small gold key the Commander had given me bouncing up and down as I ran.  
  
I made a sharp right and dashed for the elevator, where several people were already climbing into it, clearly oblivious to the pandemonium occuring outside because of my previous actions. I shouted for them to hold the elevator, and thankfully, they did.  
  
I skidded, skidded, skidded, and barely managed to slide through the doors just before they pinged shut, although I slammed into several of the occupants and nearly knocked us all to the floor.  
  
"Hyne, Loire, watch where you're goin'!"  
  
"Jeez, Your Highness, so sorry if we got in the way of your royal big ass."  
  
"Owie! My foot!"  
  
"Man, Vienna, you can't even let us use the elevator without throwin' your weight around?"  
  
My heart dropped to my feet."Pax........?"I turned around slowly and faced my fellow travelers. First was a senior classmen named Mira whom I didn't know very well, next had been the buck-toothed Branton, third had been his irritating girlfriend Kendris, and the last had been Pax. I took several deep breaths, pushed the emergency stop button on the 'vator, and rammed the button for the MD level one, where access was restricted for students.  
  
My guess was, whatever Commander Almasy had in mind, it was down there.  
  
"Hey! We've gotta get to class!"Kendris interjected."I've got exams this period!"  
  
(HOW could I have forgotten about field exams?! Oh, great. My prerequisite was scheduled for next period, but then again, I didn't have an instructor left to take me.........)I sniffled, but my voice didn't shake."Shove it, Kendris. You won't even HAVE a class left if I don't do something about it?"  
  
"What would YOU do about it?"she sneered, but Pax interjected.  
  
"What do you mean, Vienna?"he asked, and Mira and Branton's faces showed similar concern. I took a few deep breaths and tried to forget about Instructor T. and the commander.  
  
"I mean to say that there's missiles headed this way, just like the Galbadian government fired at Balamb last year,"I told them, ramming the MD button some more as though that would miraculously make the thing move faster, instead of just jamm---  
  
CUH-CLANK. (Oh, shit.)  
  
Kendris looked upward."Did we.........stop moving?"  
  
"Man, this blows,"said Branton, reinstating the obvious."We're about as screwed as a dozen prostitutes here, people."  
  
Mira hit the buttons again, as though it would do any good. Pax was searching the elevator."Man........no phone. What the hell was the Commander thinkin', not putting a phone in here? What a dork."  
  
"Missiles, and 'vators, and deaths, OH FUCKING MY!"I roared, scaling the walls as expertly as I could without a grappling hook and kicking open the escape hatch more violently than was probably necessary. I was pissed; we were running out of time! My comrades looked rather shocked at my angry outburst, but I was already dropped down into what appeared to be an oil shaft, drawing Nemeris and junctioning Fire to my elemental attack.  
  
"I'm going on ahead,"I told the rest of them."If you want to try and make your exams, or wait for maintenance to fix the elevator, then you can wait here. If you'd rather save Garden and prevent an all-out war between Galbadia and Esthar again, then come with me."  
  
"War's gonna happen, anyway,"said Branton."They've already shot off those missiles, like you claim. Why don't we just evacuate everyone from this place and save our necks, instead of going off on some dumbass mission? I'd tell you to use your brains, Loire, but it doesn't seem like you have any!"  
  
(That's right; I hadn't had any, for being such a fool as to think that you and Kendris didn't deserve each other.)I snapped."Siddown, fool!"I shouted, my eyes popping open wide."I don't care WHAT the hell you do; take the coward's way out!"I struggled for calm, and took a few deep breaths before I went on."Well, I want to save this place. I don't belong anywhere but here, at least, that's what I'd like to think. I don't care if any of you come with me or not. But if you're going to go back up, do me a favor--- get the teachers together, evacuate everyone if you want to, do whatever you have to do to make sure everyone stays safe, just in case I fail. And tell my parents I love them very much."  
  
I dropped down the ladder to the next level of oil shafts. I didn't expect to make it out of this one alive, not even with my own inherited abilities. But it was what the commander and Instructor T. wanted me to do, and they trusted me to make it back to Garden and do what they couldn't...........  
  
I slammed my fist into the wall, giving in to tears for a few minutes. Why had they stayed behind?! Why send me---only me---to do something it had taken three SeeDs to do back at Balamb?! Why take that risk?! How could they go and leave me all alone.......?!  
  
I took a few steadying breaths and headed down another ladder to a room with a valve. For the door to the next room to open, I had to turn this valve. And, I got attacked by a Tri-Face.  
  
They were diffucult monsters, especially because their elemental defense allowed them to halve Fire damage and completely absorb Poison attacks. And- --  
  
Their Poison Gas. I choked; couldn't breathe. I could feel the poison taking effect. I couldn't see, I felt groggy and disoriented, and my body was taking a longer time to react than usual. Blind, Poison, Confuse, and Slow, as well as I could register. Things just weren't working right. And I'd lose to a monster before I even got the chance to to save Garden..........  
  
"Stop!"A girl's voice resonated behind me, and it was quickly followed up by a guy's voice, a voice I knew so well.......  
  
"Esuna!"As my vision cleared, I turned around to see Mira and Pax standing behind me, Mira with her quarterstaff and Pax with his javelin; a hard weapon to master, as there were no specialists here at Garden. Turning around again, I saw the Tri-Face suspended in mid-air, jaws open and snarling ferociously. Mira's Stop had done the trick, at least for the time being.  
  
"Th-Thanks for your help,"I panted, glad to be rid of that foul poison. Mira smiled, but Pax only nodded curtly."Change your junctioning,"he said."They've got an elemental affinity towards Fire."  
  
"I know that!"I snapped, but obliged. Mira, rolling her eyes in our direction, just cast Death on the stupid creature and obliterated it. The three of us worked together to turn the valve, and we headed down YET ANOTHER ladder to the bottom floor. A circular platform revealed a button to reveal ANOTHER ladder, which we headed down. Activating the defense system on the floor below, we headed back up to the platform and had gone to cross the suspension bridge when---  
  
"Oilboyles!"I shouted, remembering to change my junctioning back to Fire, from where it had previously been Ice."They're weak against Fire, they guarded the MD system back at Balamb, too!"  
  
The fight with the Tri-Face had left me weakened, so I was able to use my Limit Break."Fires of Heaven!"I shouted, running my hands along Nemeris' blade and causing red-orange flames to lick and dance up to the edge. Then, twirling it around almost as well as Commander Almasy could have done, I danced the dance of swords across the Oilboyles' sides, causing them to burst into flame and shriek in some form of unHynely agony.  
  
"Firaga!"cried Mira, and as Pax used a Curaga on me, I finished the last ugly-looking thing with my own casting of Firaga, which did a heckuva lot more damage than Mira's, and caused her to regard me rather shrewdly.  
  
Feeling thoroughly harried, for we didn't have much time left, the three of us(I didn't even ask where Branton and Kendris had went, for I really didn't care) crossed over to the second platform where the MD system dwelled. I turned to my two companions.  
  
"Watch the ladder, okay? I've just gotta stick this key in somewhere up there, and we should be good to go."They nodded tersely, and I began the hair-raising event. Ladders have always scared me, and this one was especially terrifying. It shook and wobbled in a most unreassuring manner, and I was just near the top(oh, thank Hyne) when it shook and wobbled just a little too much.  
  
"AIIIEEEEEE!"I shrieked, as I felt myself flying backwards into open air. Pax and Mira cursed almost in unison and tried to steady the ladder, but they only aided in it's inevitable descent. I was going to die, and from the most stupid means possible! I was gonna die, gonna die, gonna d---  
  
BRINNNNK! My passage to death was arrested by the solid sheet of glass I broke through, ending up inside of a strange room with some ancient-looking equipment off to the right, and a door to who-knew-where off to the left.  
  
Ancient-looking equipment............THAT WAS IT!!!!! Yelling with joy and leaping to my feet, I dashed over to the old MD system and with shaking fingers went to insert the key that would save us all from impending destruction............  
  
...........to find that it wasn't there. I searched and searched and searched, emptying every pocket and crawling around on the floor, sticking myself countless numbers of times on broken glass, but there was no trace of it. It must've fallen out of my pocket when I was falling through the air.  
  
I fought against the choking noise that built up in my throat and headed back down the ladder towards Mira and Pax, hoping they would have some sort of clue as to what to do now.  
  
I never noticed the gleam of gold that shone in the corner, with the symbol of Garden emblazoned across it's front.  
  
  
  
**************************************************************************** *********  
  
  
  
Pax scowled, kicked angrily at some debris."You mean to tell me you DROPPED THE DAMN KEY?!?!?!"  
  
Mira bit back a sob."So now we're all gonna die...............? And Instructor T. and the commander are already...........?"  
  
I mourned for our now-lost Garden. Everything was my fault. I'd had to go along with the commander, I'd had to get the stupid key, I had to prove myself by saving Garden on my own instead of evacuating everyone like I should have done, and I had to go alone on that damnable ladder. And now, there was no hope.  
  
(Is that how all those SeeDs felt when the sorceress covered the world in darkness? When they saw how bleak our future would be, because of a..............)  
  
(..............because of a SORCERESS.)I breathed deeply opened my eyes real wide. That was it! I knew how to save us all, and our Garden! Slowly, I turned towards Mira and Pax.  
  
"There is another way,"I managed solemnly, invoking urgent stares from the both of them.  
  
"How?!"  
  
"What?!"  
  
Taking a deep breath, I gave myself the courage to plunge on. Already, our surroundings were warping and shifting and changing."There's a lot you don't know about me, even you, Pax."Now we were standing on top of Garden, a feat no one had ever accomplished in their entire life, despite the efforts to try. Mira screamed and clutched Pax's arm. I went on."What I'm about to do'll kill me, I think, and if it doesn't, then by the time the truth gets out, I'll be as good as dead."  
  
"But I want to save Garden, and all of you."Far off in the distance, I could see the missiles approaching. Down in the Great Plains, I could swarms of students and instructors scrambling towards the city. I smiled; Branton and Kendris had done their deed."I'd tell you, but we don't have the time. You're both smart, figure it out for yourselves. And don't hate me, for living a lie."  
  
I could tell they were puzzled, but they didn't say a word, only waited with surprising patience for what I was about to do. If the MD system couldn't help Garden fly, then I would give it my best shot.  
  
I closed my eyes and concentrated. I shut out the missiles, the cry of the wind, the yells of astonishment from down below as people saw what was going on up above. I smiled; one way or another, I'd meet Instructor T. and the commander real soon, now.  
  
My concentration and power had reached their breaking points, I had to release it now, or they would simply fizzle out and I would die nonetheless."...................Float."  
  
And as the missiles zoomed towards Garden, as hundreds of students and instructors watched from down below, and as Mira and Pax grabbed ahold of my arms as I collapsed from the strain, two giant pairs of angel wings attached themselves to Esthar Garden and hoisted it away and out of danger.  
  
Not only did they move Garden out of danger, they also repelled the missiles with a simple flapping of wind, both beautiful and frightening at the same time. Float had always been one of my favorite spells. The missiles turned and launched themselves out into open air, I heard a giant splash as they landed somewhere in the ocean. No boom; that meant they'd steered clear of both the Horizon Bridge and Fisherman's Horizon.  
  
That smile was still on my face; I'd done what I'd set out to do, and if I had to die from overexertion of my powers, I was glad that I'd done it in this.  
  
I dropped down to my knees on the top of Garden, and Pax dropped down in front of me, face etched with worry, and yet also, with fear."Vienna..........you're a.............sorceress?"  
  
I was still smiling, maybe I was delirious."Of course,"I said, and fell forward into his arms.  
  
  
  
  
  
AN~Well, I'm SOOOOOOOOOOOO sorry for the lack of updates, between school and my social life(I have a social life now! Isn't it great?!) I haven't had much time for anything! Not only that, but I've got my novel to work on, and boy, is it hard! Don't expect another chapter for a really long time now, people! But don't worry, I haven't forgotten about dear old HICB! I know I've left off with cliffhangers at both of these chapters, but I will tell you that one of them will be tied up next chapter(just which one will, I don't know). You know the drill, reviews make me a happy sexual- education-panda! ~tiger~ 


	14. I Appear To Have Spilled My Beer

Hey! I Could Be A Messenger From Hyne, Ya Know!- A Misadventurous Romance Story

Chapter Fourteen-I Appear To Have Spilled My Beer(Affairs of State)

ANFinally! Something is happening! It took me a long time to remember how I'd planned to get Selphie and Seifer out of their mess, and now I do! Huzzah! So you'll get some more HICB! Okay, I'm dedicating these last chapters to my friend PinkStarz, who's had a lot of her fanfiction taken down by the admins for stupid regulations, since someone's been reporting her. Whoever it is can suck cock. And if you want to report me for that, just try it.

tigerofthewind

I was sitting in a gray fabric manager's chair reading "The Island Closest to Heaven" when the commotion started. I swing my bobbed brown hair out of my face and blink my brown eyes somewhat startledly, for the book was rather involving. I'm just thinking about getting up to see what all the fuss is about when Mr. Kiros comes in, shaking his head in a somewhat amused manner.

"I think you'd better head down to the surveillance room, Ms. Elle,"is all he says, but I've already formed a situation in my head.

Uncle Laguna will have been trying to receive the 'adults only' channel on the dish network again, sitting up late into the night trying to figure out how the remote works, despite having been told several hundred times. After deeming the remote as being 'utterly complicated and useless', he will then throw it into the nearby chair. From there the situation somewhat deviates, varying from a situation where he's managed to break the whole executive computer system to one where he simply finds the 'adults only' channel but is thus unable to figure out how to turn it off, and is instead forced to somehow destroy said television and it's naughty evidence.

However, upon arriving at the surveillance room, I find that it is none of these things, but rather, something of a much less...fanciful...nature.

"Elle, Elle!"Uncle Laguna rushes over to me, looking indeed sheepish but much more urgent than that."The east block surveillance camera was malfunctioning, but when it did, it tapped into the network, and look what it found!"

"Malfunctioning?"I raised an eyebrow."What did you do, Uncle Laguna?"

"I appear to have spilled my beer,"he replied calmly, gesturing to the foaming amber liquid seeping into the crevices of the control panel.

"Appear?"I repeated, not following."You don't KNOW?"

"Well, I was asleep,"he defended, now started to show signs of embarrassment.

I frowned slightly."What were you even DOING at the surveillance desk?"

Aha, I'd figured out the source of his blunder. He turned red and began sputtering."I - ah - come on, Elle - "

"He couldn't figure out how to get the 'late night party' channel in his own room, so he figured he'd have better luck in the surveillance room,"Mr. Kiros announced, entering the room with Mr. Ward in his wake. He looked over at Uncle Laguna."Hey man, all you gotta do is hit '01' on your remote, and it'll automatically take you there. I programmed it for you, remember?"

"Oh, yeah!"Uncle Laguna snapped his fingers."Thanks, Kiros."He started to head for the door."If anyone needs me, I'll - ah - be in my room."

"Wait, Uncle Laguna!"I protested, furrowing my brow."What did you call ME down here for? I wouldn't be able to help you with...you know, with THAT."

"Oh, yeah! It's about what came up on the screen when I spilled my beer on it. It's the old abandoned management building for the EHA,"he told me, joining me as I looked down at the fuzzy screen."Except it's not so abandoned anymore."

I saw what he was talking about. Red emergency lights were flashing and several men wearing what appeared to be the Galbadian military outfit were running around shouting incoherently. The screen switched and I saw a similar scene, except in a different area.

"Galbadia?"I said aloud, stunned."What, are they so desperate to start another war already?"

"We're concerned that they might be after you, Elle,"Uncle Laguna said, his 'serious face' on,"but not just that. Look here."

The screen switched again, to where the gates of the facility were located. A pile of dead soldiers on the ground, and -

My eyes widened."It can't be..."

Mr. Kiros nodded."Even I had to look twice when I saw them. I don't recognize the blond one to the right, but that petite little brown-haired girl..."

I swallowed hard."Uncle Laguna?"

He understood."What should we do, Elle?"

"What can we do?"

"Well - "His sentence was cut off in mid-yawn, and he shrugged awkwardly."Sorry, I'm feelin' really bushed. I think I fainted earlier or something, 'cuz I was out for a few hours and when I woke up I felt more tired than when I went to sleep."He scratched the back of his neck."Elle, I think we should - "

But I was already grabbing his head somewhat forcefully with both hands.(Hold on, little sis Sefie and little bro Seifer. I'll get you OUT of there), I thought, feeling guilty about what I was going to do, but not enough to change my mind. I had to smile a bit about what I was going to do, and that my klutzy Uncle Laguna would yet again be the one to save his friends who were in trouble.

You see, you can't change the past...

...unless you've got powers like mine in the present.

I had to be moderately conspicuous about this. One of the biggest rules when it comes to meddling in the past is to be sure not to affect the present. I couldn't just tap Sefie and Seifer on the shoulder when they came in and say "Hey you guys, I know I've really got no reason to be here, but you'll want to get out now because it's a trap and this whole place is going to explode in a couple of minutes". So I would have to do it from behind the scenes, AND have Uncle Laguna's body back in time to spill beer all over the surveillance computers.

I sighed. This sure was going to be tricky business.

Upon arriving at the EHA management facility, I was relieved to find it still deserted. The Galbadians clearly hadn't had time to begin forming their ambush yet. I dug around in Uncle Laguna's pockets before finding the master card key and unlocking the gates. The stench of old motor oil and dust filled my nose instantly, but I ignored it. I had to find the control panel for the security system.

The third door I tried revealed the motherload, a giant computer network that covered the security for the entire facility(which wasn't really that great, since it was just a highway administration). I frowned in thought. (The Galbadians must have tampered with it later on, so even if I were to set the gates to unlock, they would just notice when they came in to lock them in the first place, right? Or maybe...if I was the one to set them to lock, they might not notice?)

It seemed like a plan. (The command for ordering the gates to lock would appear first, so no one would notice the hidden command I entered after that. When the soldiers stumble across it in a few hours, they'll just think that a spy or one of their superior officers or something already set the command.)

My fingers were already flying across the keys. The detonation time for the building's self-destruct(why the hell did a highway building have a self-destruct feature, anyway?!) was at 15:08, so I would set the gates to lock...

I frowned, at what time were Sefie and Seifer trapped in there? How many minutes before detonation? I concentrated, and a number popped into my head. Ten minutes.

I set the gates to lock at 14:58; I also set the hidden command for them to UNlock at 15:07, one minute before detonation. I hoped that would be enough time for the two of them to get far away from there.

Noises from outside caused me to back into a corner quickly, hidden from view by a set of lockers. Two Galbadian soldiers came in and examined the computer. I crossed my fingers and held my breath, hoping that they were as stupid as necessary.

"Man,"the first one groaned."Commander Tak said that were were supposed to set the gates to lock, but someone else's already done it!"

"That's just like him to forget,"the second one agreed."Well, let's go wait for those Garden twits to get here, then. What were our orders in regards to them, again?"

"Ah, I dunno,"the first one replied."Guess we better go ask someone..."

The rest of their conversation was lost as they headed out of the door. But I was stuck in a sticky situation. How was I supposed to get out, dressed as I was in the body of the Estharian president, whose government they were plotting to overthrow?

Thankfully for me, I was quite skilled at magic."Stop!" Before they even knew what had hit them, I had Stopped every last soldier on the compound. Laughing to myself, I exited out of the gates just as they were carrying on as though nothing had happened.

The next step was a bit trickier - waiting. I paced around irritably, waiting for the time when I would need to leave Uncle Laguna in the surveillance room before I went on to possess either Sefie or Seifer and get them out of the EHA building. I decided to use the time to plan thoroughly.

(Which one of them should I possess? Sefie's the obvious choice; her naive and cheerful nature make her quite the choice for embodiment, but...)

Well, I couldn't bring myself to admit that a veritable whirlpool of temptation came from the thought of possessing Seifer. He had, as a child, been the only one to hide anything from me, the only one to turn his back when I offered my hand. Mistrust goes full circle, so in time, I began to grow as suspicious of him as he was of me. Perhaps not faithlessly, his abduction of me in Lunatic Pandora alone should be enough to support my cause, but sometimes I wondered - if I had not given up, if I had persisted in my affection - would those events have ever REALLY have come to pass?

It's a lesson I learned from my powers, how the past affects the present. Squall's pain, Zell's passion, Irvine's sensitivity, Quisty's depth, Seifer's will, and Sefie's heart - all of these things and more were a direct effect on the paths they chose during their lives. I could understand where all their pain and depth and those such things came from, but I could never understand Seifer's intense will. His drive to be the best at whatever he did, how he always aimed for the top, but lost due to his arrogance... What motivated him? Was he so ruthless as to crush everything that wasn't at his level?

No, it didn't seem like his style. Perhaps all he wanted was to prove himself worthy of the friendship of others.

I laughed aloud. No, that definitely wasn't his style, either. He didn't MIND people, as long as they didn't get in his way, but to say everything he did was for others? No, he had some goal of his own to live up to.

In that instant, I decided to possess him instead of Sefie.

And in good timing too; now was the time to return Uncle Laguna to his spot at the surveillance cameras. I laid down and quietly exited his now-sleeping body, giving him a mental pat on the back as I did so. He would be tired and maybe a little sore, but with luck, Sefie and Seifer would be safe.

I closed my eyes and concentrated on everyone's foul-mouthed, bickering blonde. I found him lying on the pavement with a crying Sefie, looking strangely bored for someone who was so soon to lose their life.

And he looked at me as I possessed him.

I can't explain it; he probably couldn't either. There was an instant where I saw him("Better give me back in one piece, Sis") and then he was gone. To where? Probably reliving memories of his past; that's usually where the people I possess go, back into THEIR past selves. I hoped the memories he were reliving were good ones.

I sat upright, not taking the time to get used to this body."Sefie, get up!"I shouted at her, shaking her roughly."Look, I can't explain, but - "

"You called me 'Sefie',"she said sort of dreamily, smiling up at me. I didn't get it, why would she - ?

(Oh, Hyne no. She COULDN'T...have FEELINGS for Seifer, could she???)I blinked at her, and then a strange thing happened.

It was sort of like my(or rather, Seifer's) emotive processes just...shut down. Before I even knew what I was doing, I found myself rolling my eyes at her.

"Just a spasm,"I said, standing up."Come on, the gates are gonna open - "

With a clank, the gates began to open, as if my words were cue. I wanted to bend and give Sefie a hand, but SOMETHING wasn't allowing it.

Hmmm. Seems as though I'm not in total control of his body after all.

The two of us raced for the gates, Sefie a bit behind me because Seifer could take longer strides. We were only about thirty meters from the base when it exploded, sending bits of shrapnel into the sky like rain. In an act that was(surprisingly) not entirely mine, I flung Sefie to the ground beneath me, shielding her with Seifer's body, and covered my head with my hands.

The ground rumbled beneath us, and we were struck with a couple of bits of falling debris, but nothing serious. I counted for twenty seconds after the ground stopped shaking, then decided it was safe and let Sefie up.

She coughed a bit then turned back to regard the former EHA facility. It was little more than a pile of charred rubble. I could almost see her imagining what would have happened to her if she'd been inside. Or was it something else?

"I feel awful for those soldiers,"she admitted."They were only following orders, and when we could have saved them, you went and..."Her face was blotchy with tears.

(What in Hyne's name is she talking about?) I figured it would be a good idea about now to return Seifer to his body and let him sort this mess out.

Only problem was, when I reached out for him, he wasn't there.

ANSo, have I lost my flair for fanfic writing? We've completely shifted out of the humor unit now, and for that, I'm sorry. It's probably only going to get more dramatic from here on now, too. I really, really, really want to thank my 300 reviewers. If I hadn't seen that giant total racked up on my stats page at , I probably never would've continued this. You guys are my inspiration. 3 I love you guys! Hopefully, I'll be able to wrap this up pretty soon! Will our beloved hero and heroine ever wind up living happily ever after? You'll have to tune in to see!

tigerlistening to the Goldenscan remix of Ayumi Hamasaki's 'Evolution'


	15. A Deal With The Devil Or Worse, Doctor ...

Hey! I Could Be A Messenger From Hyne, Ya Know!- A Misadventurous Romance Story

Chapter Fifteen-A Deal With The Devil - Or Worse, Doctor Odine!(Tilmitt)

ANBelting 'em out, I am! I truly hope that my speed with these isn't affecting the quality of this story. . I'm not sure how many more chapters there'll be, to be honest. I sort of want to end this soon, but I did have a couple more plot arcs I wanted to put in, so you might have to bear with me. Sorry! This chapter is again dedicated to PinkStarz(what a review whore!), but also to all of those fans who stuck with me through thick and thin while I took my sweet time delivering to them SeiferXSelphie goodness!

tiger

I blinked in total confusion at Seifer, wondering if he'd finally snapped. He'd been acting all strange and schizophrenic ever since we got out of the missile base, looking down at his hands every now and then and sometimes even punching himself in the side of the head. Maybe it was his way of disguising his relief at being alive or something.

Not only that...but he'd called me Sefie.

Which, up until now, I thought I'd only wanted to be called by Irvine. It was a shock, to hear that name come from someone else(namely, from Seifer, the world's biggest jackass). But not unpleasant. It took me back to the days of my childhood, where I wore my cute little jumper, and I could see Seifer when he was younger too, harassing Zell in shorts and a T-shirt. He was a prankster back then, for sure, but he hadn't yet obtained that hard, cynical look in his eyes. I could almost hear him saying...

"Hey! HEY! Watch where you're driving, why don't ya?!"

AH! I hurriedly swerved the highway truck that we had stolen from the highway building(built Esthar tough, it had actually survived the blast) out of a treacherous ditch. Flushing with embarrassment, I fiddled with the radio and glanced sideways at Seifer.

He didn't seem angry, or annoyed, just preoccupied again. Well, it HAD been an eventful couple of days. I realized with a start that I was BUSHED. The first thing I would do when we got back to Esthar Garden would be to sleep, sleep for a hundred years, perhaps until a prince charming came to wake me up. Ahhh, that sounded nice.

While I was still fiddling with the radio, Seifer spoke again.

"Hey, Sefie - who're those guys?"

I jerked my head upright and slammed on the brakes just in time to avoid a group of people standing right in the middle of the road. Damned idiots. If this was another hunger strike for GF rights I'd go absolutely insane.

No...hunger strikers wouldn't be wearing the uniform of the Galbadian army.

"Hmmm,"I said, leaning back into my seat and looking over at Seifer."Looks like they're here to finish what they started with you."

His face grew puzzled, and he shrugged. I rolled my eyes.

"They attacked you, remember! Don't tell me you've forgotten THAT already?!"

The puzzled look didn't go away, but at least he nodded."What should we do?"

(Why the hell is he asking me? He's usually the great formulator-of-plans.)"Ah...well... I suppose we have to fight our way out, right? It's not like we can surrender."

NOW he started to look NERVOUS!"Well..."

At 15:47 EST(Esthar Standard Time), I officially lost it."What the hell is going on here?!"I shouted, tossing my hands up into the air in exasperation."You've been acting nutty ever since we got out of that explosion! Did it scramble your brain or something?!"

Seifer took a deep breath."Well, Sefie - "

"Halt! Come out of the vehicle with your hands up!"Whatever he wanted to say was interrupted by the approach of the Galbadian soldiers, carrying rifles with a newly added, somehow more menacing bayonet at the tip. I sighed.

"Come on,"I muttered, sliding out of the truck door, not putting my hands up, but instead using them to whip my Strange Vision around threateningly."Let's just take care of these idiots and get back home."

Strange, that I considered Esthar Garden to be 'home' now.

"Resistance will be put down with full force in regards to the man,"the superior officer was telling the underlings."Subdue the lady with appropriate force, however, she MUST be taken alive. A 5,000 gil bonus to the man who captures her!"

(What the - ? Capture...me? Why?) I barely had time to think all that before almost the whole damn army corps was on top of me, their captain's promise of a gil bonus a prime directive for them to attack me all at once."Slow!"I cried, somewhat in a panic, and rolled away from them, tucking my limbs under to shield my important organs.

A few, obviously protected from Slow status, struggled after me. I clunked one on the head with my Strange Vision, feeling not seeing. I was just getting ready to cast Meltdown on another when two grabbed me from behind, and I felt my nunchaku being ripped from my hands.

"Silence!"shouted the other hoarsely, and I felt the connection to my junction spells dissipating. It didn't, however(contrary to popular belief), leave me unable to talk.

"What do you - sleazeballs - want with me?"I grunted, kicking at them and trying to free my arms.

"Ain't none of your concern,"one of them grunted back, wincing as my elbow stuck him on the chest."Quit strugglin', we ain't gonna hurt ya."

Riiiiiight. I struggled harder, but I was losing. I wasn't that pig Zell, I was relatively useless without a weapon and they'd prevented me from casting spells, about my only redeeming quality. I searched around desperately for something, ANYTHING, to save me.

I only found him. But hey, you take what you can get, right? In matters of life and death like this, sometimes you have to swallow your pride and yell.

"SEIFER, HELP!!!"

He glanced up from the perimeter of the battlefield(what was he doing over there, anyway?) and desperation appeared on his face as he swung the Hyperion around clumsily in an attempt to reach me.

(What is he DOING? Low-level grunts like these should be no problem for him!) A terrible thought occured to me.(Is he...doing this on PURPOSE?)

"You wouldn't...would you?"I whispered faintly, in time with the soldier captain's voice - "Sleep!"

There was no concious thought after that.

I stirred faintly, feeling damp and cold. Where was I? How had I gotten here? What had happened to Esthar Garden?

I sat up, remembering bits and pieces in a daze. The journey from Grandidi Forest in Esthar to wherever I was now was nothing but a blur. I would wake up sometimes, demanding to know answers, and the soldiers who had captured me would respond to them promptly with another casting of Sleep. They were keeping me permanently Silenced, too, and who knows what they'd done with my Strange Vision. I wasn't being treated too harshly for the most part, but after being forced to sleep for long hours in the back of an army caravan, various parts of my body began to tingle and ache.

Nothing compared to the pain of betrayal, though.

"Seifer..."I sighed aloud, and looked around at my surroundings. It was a pretty posh room, with velvet drapes and a fireplace, as well as the canopied bed I was now laying in. Gold-framed paintings depicting various beautiful women were placed here and there, and soft classical music was playing in the background. Not bad at all, for being a prison.

I slowly got out of the bed, relieved to see that I was still wearing my battered wardrobe. Feeling despondent, I went over to the door and tried the knob. As expected, it was locked. A heavy oak door, too, with no hopes of me being able to break it down. Feeling curious about the lack of people, I decided to try a spell.

"Fire!"I whispered at the door, and nothing happened. Nothing good, that is.

"Oh, ho ho ho,"a voice crackled, seemingly from out of nowhere, and I jumped."Zere iz a magic field all around zis building,"the voice went on."Even a mighty zorzeress like yourself vill have trouble escaping from here."

My heart plummeted to the floor."Doc Odine?"I asked aloud, looking around and locating the speakers from where his voice was coming.

"Zat is correct,"the doctor replied simply."I am zorry to have used such...hoztile actions againzt you, but you must understand...ve vould do anything to contain a zorzeress vith your level of power."

"Sorceress?"I whispered in disbelief."No way! That was always Rin, she was the big-time sorceress!"

"Zat is also true,"Doctor Odine admitted."She vill be joining you shortly, however...ze Leonheart boy iz giving us a bit of trouble. He fails to see ze dangers zat you zorzeress's poze to our vorld."

"Dangers? But you STUDIED Adel!"

"Yes, yes, to figure out a vay to defeat her. You zorzeress' are an interesting group, and vhile it iz true zat I vould like to study you for ze rest of my life, I understand that it iz not pozzible. I vill make do vith vhat little time I have, zen I vill seal you away again, az per my mazter's orders."

"Master's orders? And who's your master?"

A short, obvious response."Dictator Powell."

"But you're under the employment of the Estharan government!"I contradicted him."Is Sir Laguna - I mean, is President Loire supporting this?"If my ever-so-congenial Sir Laguna were behind this plot, I really would die. How many betrayals can you have in a day before it gets to be too much?

Doc Odine laughed."Of courze not. Ze Prezident iz too zoft-hearted on zese zorzeress', I think."A pause."All zat's left iz to wait for ze Zorzeress Rinoa to arrive, and zen ve vill prozeed."

I snorted haughtily."Squall won't give up! You'll see! He won't let you have Rinoa."

"Hmmm..."Odine was comtemplating."Most likely, zat is true. Ve vill probably have to kill him. He iz not az amenable az zat other one."

I felt my face crumble. So, it was true. I couldn't blame Seifer, though. He'd been forced to dance to the tune of not one sorceress, but three! And to find out that I was one...

...I was one? I was...a sorceress?

"This doesn't make any sense!"I cried up to the speaker."I'm not a sorceress! Alanna said I was a candidate for sorceress EMBODIMENT, but that doesn't make me one automatically! What's going on?!"

Silence."Hey, what's going on here?!"

Only more silence greeted me. I sighed deeply, all my previous energy gone, and plopped down on the bed. I really hoped that Squall would be able to protect Rinoa. She was right to love him, to put all her faith in him. He WOULD protect her, wouldn't turn his back on her. He'd already been through hell and back for her. I was a little envious - all I had was a foul-mouthed, arrogant beast who'd gone and left me when I needed him the most...

(Needed him?)I bit my lip and rolled over onto my stomach. It was true, when I thought about it. I'd put my faith in him, I'd called out for help that one last time, and he hadn't come to save me. Hadn't TRIED.

Ugh, this pillow they'd given me was damp! I sat up in disgust, appalled that my entire FACE was wet from this nasty pillow. I chucked it on the floor, a sob escaping my throat. A sob? No way... I was crying?!

It was true. Giant tears ran in rivulets down my face.

"Stupid idiot Seifer, I hope you rot in hell for making me cry!"I shouted, and flung myself face down on the bed until I cried myself to sleep.

'I hope you rot in hell!'

Little did I know, that my wish was about to come true.

ANHmmmm. All of the mystery(and I mean all of it! you might have to go back and reread a couple of chapters!) will be cleared up in the next chapter, but it's definitely not the last one! (Ha ha ha, second to last.) These past few have been really short, but the next one'll be a doozie! Be prepared for it! As always, I love you, my fans. Ja!

tiger


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